The Trump administration has turned to an unusual weapon in its attempt to resurrect coal mining ā a cartoon lump of coal, complete with giant eyes and yellow mining garb, called āCoalieā.
The administrationās new mascot, kitted out with a helmet, boots and gloves, was introduced in a seemingly artificial intelligence-generated picture posted online by Doug Burgum, Donald Trumpās interior secretary. āMine, Baby, Mine!ā Burgum wrote on X, adding that Coalie will act as a āspokespersonā for Trumpās āAmerican Energy Dominance Agendaā.
Climate activists criticized the latest attempt by the administration to boost the image of the dirtiest fossil fuel despite its impacts on the planet and public health, with one critic describing it as āone of the most heinous ways to produce energy that our world has ever seen.ā
Coalie, whose large eyes and grin appears to invoke a Japanese style of cuteness used in toys and animated characters, is to be an ambassador for the office of surface mining reclamation and enforcement (OSMRE), the US government agency responsible for regulating coalmines.
Best cartoon mascot since Joe Camel.
I have immediately shipped him with Towelie from Southpark. They are gay and Coalie is the bottom.
(Thatās not to demean Coalie: bottoming is not a lesser position. Towelie just happens to prefer pitching and Coalie likes catching, and thatās beautiful.)
They occasionally engage in group sex with a third mascot named Whaleoilie, who is a gray blob of blubber with an old-timey sea captain aestetic.
āThatās my arrrrrrrrse.ā
I like it. Thanks for that mental picture.
That being said, three does not make a group. Sorry. Call it a threesome please, I consider group sex to be at least four people involved.
Well, I didnāt technically say that their activities with Whaleoilie were exclusively among those three. So letās assume that when they get together with Whaleoilie itās usually at sex parties he hosts at his bungalow in the Hollywood hills.
This is like something out of 30 rock
Butā¦Trump said itās clean now. They wash it before they burn it.
Why does everything have to be so fucking stupid?
