This is the first light hearted “story” that came to mind: I was in the UK last year (Cornwall) in May. We were driving through some towns and we came by a farm that sold duck eggs at the road side. It was one of those “give as much as you want” stands where they relied on good faith, because it was unmanned. We initially wanted to eat the duck eggs, but after some Googling we found out that these eggs have great odds of being fertilized! So instead of eating the three duck eggs, we put them in the refrigerator for the remainder of our trip to the UK. We did this so we could put the eggs under a heat lamp (we have chickens).

Well surprise surprise, all three of them actually hatched! So now we have two Peking ducks and one Swedish black duck! Honestly, they’re so funny and their personalities are great. We recently “celebrated” their first birthday lmao. Anyway, I’ll add a picture as duck tax (with bonus cat) :D

I’m bad at storytelling, but I will try to tell you a boring story about coincidence.

There’s that one period in my life in which my mental health was at its lowest and I was searching for an actual reason to live. It was a kind of existential crisis coupled with a very bad case of self depreciation.

No matter what reasons I could come up with to prove that my existence mattered, I could never acknowledge them, brushing them off as just coincidence - “Your existence makes your parents happy? You just happened to be their only child”, “Your were recognized as talented? No, anyone could’ve done that if they put similar efforts”, “Your friend told you you’re a good friend? No, they just don’t know you enough”. This line of thoughts was with me all the time back then. My life’s useless and inconsequential, and whether I died or lived didn’t really make a difference in the end, or so I thought.

Then, just because I was in the right place at the right time, I somehow ended up talking someone out of taking their own life. If I didn’t exist, someone might have died. That coincidence proved the usefulness of my life; it was the first time that I couldn’t deny the fact that my life did matter.

I think it’s funny how we walk through our lives and become who we are where we are at just by a chain of decisions and coincidences like that all the time. When I look back on all I’ve experienced until this day like this, I think life is kind of a wonder.

I will preface this story by saying that this is the absolute truth. You can choose to not believe it if you like, and I don’t blame you if you do, it’s the internet after all and everyone lies on the internet. I can’t provide any sources or back up what I’m saying, but I am telling you that this story is 100% real and true.

Back in 2014, I went to Japan on my own for 3 weeks, not long enough but it was all I could afford at the time. As part of that trip, I stayed in a monastery in Koyasan, south of Osaka. The second day of my stay there was my 28th birthday and I spent the entire day surrounded by incredibly beautiful temples, haunting graveyards and utter serenity. At this point in my life, I had huge sideburns. This is relevant later on in the story.

Around lunchtime, I got a sandwich and noticed a bit of a hullabaloo near one of the temples, so being a nosy tourist I wandered over to see what was happening. Walking up the steps of the temple there was a small crowd of people, clearly waiting for someone, so I decided to wait with them.

A few minutes go by and some obvious security personnel walk up the stairs followed by a small Asian man in yellow and maroon robes. This man was very familiar, but I couldn’t place him until he got closer.

It was His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama of Tibet.

I was absolutely floored. I was maybe 3 meters away from the head of one of the major world religions, on my goddamn birthday no less. He went along the front of the crowd of people, nodding and smiling and shaking the occasional hand. Until he got to me. Now I’m a 185cm tall 120kg white guy, to say that I stood out in Japan is an understatement. When His Holiness reached me in the line, he looked up at me, made direct eye contact, put the backs of his hands to his cheeks and wiggled his fingers, then burst out laughing.

The fucking Dalai Lama made fun of my sideburns on my birthday at a temple in Japan.

Its possibly the best and weirdest thing that has ever happened to me.

Was visiting my dad, and among other things he said there was something wrong with his computer, and could I fix it? He gave a very quick description of the problem.

So we show up, they’re making dinner, everyone’s sitting around chatting. I sneak into the office, turn on the computer, fix it, turn it off. Sneak back.

Then I suggest they show me the problem, so we can get it sorted out before eating. We go into the office, and just before they turn the PC on, I stop them. I put both hands on the monitor, close me eyes, and say: “BE HEALED!”. Then I tell them to continue.

Lo and behold, the computer is working fine now!

Ha ha.

My brother and I were on holiday in Hawaii. Not the tourist part, but a hidden hippie village where clothes are optional.

I’d planned to hire a car, but one was only available a couple of days after we arrived. Our accomadation was a 3hr walk from any food, save the (very tasty) homegrown organic breakfast served at the place we were staying.

So we spend the first day walking, talking and enjoying the scenery. We take a detour in the hopes of scoping out a local bike hire place. We find it just as rain starts coming down in earnest. It’s closed.

It’ll be late by the time we get back to the accomadation, but that’s fine. Phones have lights. Not a problem.

Later, we’re walking down a slim road lined with bushes and trees. It’s dark and still warm. We’re two hours from the accomadation, phone lights out, listening to music and stepping off the road each time a car passes.

It’s basically one tarmac road with a driveway every two hundred metres. A truck puts its blinker on and pulls over just ahead of us.

The driver asks us where we’re headed. We say up the road. He says he’ll give us a lift, he just needs to collect some stuff from a place he’s been staying. Nothing seemed dodgy, locals had already been very helpful and friendly.

We’re getting air, gripping the trailer, sitting in the back of this truck as it speeds through the jungle of trees. This driver knows the area.

We pull up to a house/castle. It’s a two storey house, with the flat stone facade of a fortress. It’s completely dark. Nobody is home so I’m already feeling this is off.

Driver says he’ll just be a moment. He heads into the house through the back, using his phone light. A dog starts barking. He’s not turning any house lights on. He brings out some basic bedding, we help tuck it into the back of his truck. Okay, he was staying here temporarily, makes some sense…

Then he’s on the second floor, still using his phone light, throwing things out a window, telling us to load it up! A wall clock shaped like a ships wheel. A drawer, like from a chest of drawers filled with random junk.

Nope. We left. Got the address and walked off into the darkness. Called the police for an hour, and the next day, but didn’t get anyone on the phone.

That’s the story of how my brother and i accidentally helped rob someone… We think.

Sure! This happened recently and it’s my favorite story of the past few weeks. My wife and I got married in 2021, and when figuring out the guest list and discussing with my family, we all kind of agreed to not invite my aunt to the wedding. My wife had never met my aunt, and had also never heard good things about her (because there aren’t many to tell her). Fast forward to a couple weeks ago, my wife and I are on the way to my cousins wedding, and my (and his) aunt is going to be there! So on the way to the wedding, my wife asks me “Okay so what’s the deal with your aunt again? She’s just mean or something?” I struggled to come up with a good answer, because is not actually mean so to speak. She’s just a genuinely unpleasant person to be around. She’s the kind of person that walks into a room where everyone is talking and laughing and having a good time, and inside of 2-3 minutes she’s managed to kill all joy and happiness, and the room is now awkwardly quiet and nobody is enjoying themselves. I still, to this day, could not explain exactly what it is about her that makes her unpleasant, she just is. So I essentially fumbled my way through a version of that recap with my wife.

We got to the wedding right as the ceremony was starting. Once the ceremony had finished and my wife and I are saying hello to everyone we know, and catching up with everyone when my aunt walks in (she was very late…it was not a short ceremony by any means) and comes over to where we’re all congregating. I say hello and my wife introduces herself and says that it’s nice to meet her. And I swear on my life, the very first thing my aunt says to her is “Hi I’m BrainisfineIthink’s Aunt. We’ve never met because you didn’t invite me to your wedding.”

Two sentences was all it took for my wife to completely understand what we meant about her being unpleasant. I hope you enjoyed my story.

This is a cool prompt, but really tricky.

When I was young, I always wanted to be an author. I wrote my own stories, but they were basically my guesses of what Harry Potter was like, before I actually read them. After that, writing a story has always felt so daunting. But I’ve eventually made some headway, when I chose to start writing again on 1 June. It’s the furthest I’ve got in years - I actually know where my story is going, and who the characters are.

My brother was mowing the lawn when his ridding mower randomly caught fire! He was able to get off in time, but the mower entirely burnt to the ground. Most things were plastic, so there was very little left. We still don’t know why it caught fire, we didn’t notice any fuel leaks or anything before hand

This is a short story about hygiene and introducing new tests to a long-running system.

I’m new at my current job and we have an environmental monitoring program (checking for the germ levels in your facility) that existed for a year already but I basically completely overhauled. It really was neither effective nor efficient before.

In the same vein, I suggested having a look at the microbe levels of our water supply. While the water that reaches the facility must be (and almost always is) clean by law, everything that happens to the water inside the facility is controlled by no external body. And the company I work at apparently has never done water tests for legionella before (despite having multiple showers). Now, legionella pneumophila is pretty much only dangerous (but then it can be quickly life-threatening) if it’s inhaled, such as via aerosoles from hot showers.

To come to a point (partly because I need to get ready for work): I introduced comprehensive water tests, many higher-ups believed for two weeks after the results that I must have made an error in the way I took samples, despite me literally researching for days how it needs to be done correctly because I absolutely didn’t want to be doing it wrong (in our case, it’s a technique you could learn by heart in two hours). We ordered an external lab to take samples and they came back with the same results (that our showers are highly contaminated and basically our coworkers have been showering in legionella for years) and now we got this whole can of worms to deal with.

But I’m glad. Would rather have this to deal with than someone of the company being admitted to the ICU because of that.

Just two days ago I had my first fluffernutter sandwich. It was good. I’ll put more fluff on it next time.

A story from when I was a little kid.

Back in the day, my Dad liked to go to the horse racing track to do a little betting, and he would bring myself and my brothers along. You know, give our Mom some peace and quiet for a little bit. This also meant that us kids would be able to get some concession stand snacks, like nachos. This was a big deal to us kids. Anyway, one Saturday as we were leaving the race track, some lady came to my Dad and said “Oh how sweet of you to take your grand-kids to the track with you!”. My parents had us a little later in life, so he could have reasonably been someone’s grandfather at that point. My brothers and I, being little shits, chimed in with “Yes Grandpa, thanks so much! This was fun, we love nachos!”. I don’t remember if he corrected the lady, but it was a funny story we continued to tell for years and years.

I like the idea of this thread but don’t have time to type something up right at this moment so I’m commenting to come back to it later haha

That’s my fault for Lemmy(ing?) at work

my first car was a 1977 volkswagen bug, got a few fun stories based around that car.

I’m a bit taller than everyone else (legally 6’10" but only because thats where the measuring stick stopped when I got my license way back when, I’m actually an inch and change taller) - my dad got it for me as a joke when I was 15 (was 6.5’ then), a joke and a father/son project, to see if I could actually fit in and drive it.

it was a nice car, eventually - learned how to stick weld because I had to move the mounting rails for the drivers seat back 8 inches just to get my knees under the dash, and put a tiny 10" steering wheel on it as my knees were still in the way. there wasnt enough space behind me when I was driving unless you were really small (managed to fit 5 girls in the back once - a take on “how many people can fit in a phone booth”) as I had to lean back quite a bit. the sunroof was useful, wasnt able to sit up straight without it. learned how to do basic upholstery work to make new seat covers, how to install a windshield using dish soap and a rope, learned how to paint metal. just setting up the basics of worldbuilding here for my story.

so, I had a volkswagen bug and the battery compartment is actually under the rear seat on the passenger side of the car - it’s not an individual seat but a wide platform you could fit 2, maybe 3 people on - the interior of the rear seat’s cushion is comprised of “rubberized horsehair” (really) and supported by metal springs. now, normally that wouldnt be a problem but one of my friends was a hefty guy and one day he was sitting in the back, on the passenger side… I dont remember where we were going but eventually he started complaining that his ass was really hot. I was giving him a hard time about it and then I smelled smoke - and then the back seat caught on fire. while he was sitting on it.

my buddy couldnt really move over behind the driver’s seat because I had to lean it back at a 50+ degree angle just to be able to safely see out of the windshield & fit behind the wheel. so he’s back there trying to put out a fire while I’m desperately trying to find a place to pull over. it took a minute but I did and then we ripped the back seat out of the car and let it smolder on the side of the road. I think we put out the embers with Snapple tea or clear Pepsi. once the back seat had stopped smoking we realized what the problem was - his weight had exceeded the weight limit for the springs and one of those springs had made contact with the positive terminal of the car battery, causing a short - which then led to the spring arc welding/partially melting and catching the upholstery on fire.

ultimately, he decided to walk home (singed pants and all) and I loaded up the crispy back seat and went home to make some modifications to the battery compartment - added a thick wood lid to separate the seat’s springs from the battery. after that, no one wanted to sit in my back seat again - and I cant say I blame them ;)

got other stories too but its getting late. enjoy!

Today I was out riding my ebike and I saw a couple walking their dogs. One of the dogs was a Golden Retriever, trotting along next to them. The other was a Pomeranian, who was being carried like a baby by one of its people.

I walked to Burger King. Then I walked back home from Burger King.