thinking about a friend from high school who i said a lot of eggy shit to and they said a lot back at me. wonder how they’re doing?
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i broke my friend’s egg because she would always play girls in video games so i jokingly said “You know you can be a girl in real life too right?”
she accepted she was trans a few weeks later
Honestly the whole “prime directive” thing kinda pisses me off. I wish someone had leveled with me when I started wondering “Why do I always crush on lesbians? Why do lesbians in media make me feel funny? Why do I feel so indignant when I’m shut out of women’s spaces because I’m a guy?” in college. I had like one person I told and they were like “eh that kinda sounds transy” and it was left at that.
Also imagine that concept being used in the context of any other condition: “Damn that stuff they’re complaining about sounds exactly like my sleep apnea symptoms. Ah well, not my place! They can suffer for a few more years until they figure it out.”
I agree, you don’t wanna railroad people into a specific identity, but gender is inextricably social. This “prime directive” shit treats gender like some atomized, wholly internal, thing. It’s based on this idea that mentioning transness at all might corrupt some pure, internal process of gender discovery.
And frankly, that’s some fucking lib shit. Instead of this “prime directive” nonsense, you can just present the option to people, and be a supportive friend. That’s millions of times more helpful then this coy, anxious, silence.
Yeah honestly. There’s a focus on Letting People Figure It Out For Themselves that like, I understand, but I think it goes too far at times.
Plus, it matters who it comes from. I find that a lot of repetition of the “prime directive” and anger at egg jokes etc from cis people comes from a place not of not pressuring someone, but of “how dare you, this person is NORMAL and you shouldn’t insult them by insinuating they’re like you”
the fun thing about calling it the “prime directive” is that they routinely went against that shit all the time in star trek. it practically existed to be defied!
personally i say fuck it, if something pings my radar i’m just like “oh have you considered that you might be trans?”
Damnit Picard!! This planet hasn’t even invented totally ironic crossdressing as a joke yet!
I’m absolutely with you on that. I’ll never say it outright like “Hey friend, you’re trans” but I’ve had the conversation multiple times where I’ve said something along the lines of “Hey that was a super not-cis thing to say/do, do we maybe wanna unpack that?”
The prime dirEGGtive was meant to be broken, but it should be broken tactfully.
prime dirEGGtive
but also yes, exactly. tact is vital; i think it’s telling that a lot of the concerns about violating the PD in trans-positive spaces boil down to “but what if it forces them further into denial/otherwise makes it worse?” and of course no one wants to be (or even just feel!) responsible for that. so i do think it’s important to treat the issue with care and caution when we’re dealing with people who aren’t initiated into the mysteries.basically “be gentle, but No Trans Left Behind”
