(while this is inspired by meta events this isnt a meta post its just feelings im having about it right now. Im going to have to vageuly explain that without being too specific though).
When you have like, wholesome motives for something, and someone imposes untoward motives for the thing. That sucks a lot!
Ive always had trouble with people like… imposing thoughts when only I own and control my brain. My mom used to like, accuse me of being selfish for things like, say, when our adult cousins came over to help with some work on the house, and I sat in my room relaxing because it was the weekend, and she started yelling at me that Im supposed to ask to help. And my problem was she was accusing me of being actively negligent by not doing so when it was more that my brain never even thought of that in the first place. I wasnt being malicious because its not like I thought of it and proactivly ignored it. I just didnt think of it.
And now today I had warm family emotions towards an image and shared it with others, and they impsosed sexual motives towards me that I didnt have. And that really upset me because my feelings about the image werent about that at all.
I just wish people wouldnt assume like that.
It’s not unfair to assume at all, as your next statement illustrates - assuming people are posting in good faith is still an assumption. You were making an assumption about how other people would view the piece when you posted it. The mods especially have to make assumptions when removing posts or banning users - assuming that people’s behaviours aren’t going to change, for example. They might be perfectly reasonable assumptions with plenty of evidence to back them up, but they’re still assumptions.
Big boobs aren’t inherently more sexual, but they’re the focus of the picture in this case. The image is centered on her chest and bare shoulder, and they have much more detailed shadows and sweat than the rest of the picture. Plus a dropped shoulder strap to really show off the shape of the whole breast. It’s a very horny picture.
Just telling people it isn’t what they think it is does not diffuse anything, it primes them to think that it is exactly what they think it is. If you don’t provide a motive, they will assume one, because telling people what something isn’t doesn’t tell them about what it is. Without explanation the mods are left having to assume the reason for the posting, and they can’t protect users by assuming everything is done in good faith - when your title is effectively “I’m not a reactionary, but this makes me feel things” they aren’t going to assume that you mean non-reactionary thigns.
From one autistic person to another, vagueness is a way to hide information while ensuring that other people know that you are hiding it. If the reason for hiding the information isn’t obvious from its nature (e.g avoiding doxxing yourself) people are going to want to know why you’re hiding the information. If you don’t want people to focus on a peice of information, you need to not mention it at all, not be vague when referring to it. Saying what something is not is being vague - In order to stop unwanted situations from developing, state outright what you mean, rather than what you don’t mean.
Alright, I’ll take the rest of it as advice, but I simply do not see the part about the “focus on the boobs” part at all because they were the last thing I noticed. I noticed her hat, then the lemonade, then the baby, then the dialouge. And hadnt evne noticed the cleavage until someone said something. And agian, Ive run this image by a bunch of people outside this server, including someone who is VERY sesnative to male gaze, a self described “misandrist lesbian”, and none of them see what Hexbear sees in this image. I think people here have horny-dars that I find… confusing and often offputting. Like Ive got like 10 people outside of the Hexbear sphere all saying “its not that horny, I dont see what they’re so up in arms about” so I cant really see this as anything but a hexbear-bound phenominon.
I literally mean that if you divide the picture into thirds vertically and horizontally the central 1/9th of the picture is her chest and shoulder, almost exactly framed by the pitcher and child on either side and lips and waist above and below, as well as the additional detail - just compare how detailed her upper body is next to the hand or child. I’m not saying it’s the first thing any person would notice, but the artist was evidently concentrating on it much harder than the rest of the image.
Incredibly funny to be scrolling through the comments feed, start reading the first paragraph, and then run into the booba discussion immediately following that
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