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Chris Remington@beehaw.orgM to Jokes and Humor@beehaw.org · 1 year ago

Mammals

beehaw.org

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Mammals

beehaw.org

Chris Remington@beehaw.orgM to Jokes and Humor@beehaw.org · 1 year ago
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  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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    1 year ago

    They’re not warm blooded. Maybe they’re flamingos.

    • frog 🐸@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      And they produce dairy-free milk, whereas mammal milk is definitely of the dairy variety.

      • Dave@lemmy.nz
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        1 year ago

        Is human milk a dairy product?

        • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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          1 year ago

          Human milk certainly contains Lactose and Whey Protein.

          • Dave@lemmy.nz
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            1 year ago

            But is it a dairy product?

            • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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              1 year ago

              I just gave you a pretty succinct definition of Dairy. Yes.

              • Dave@lemmy.nz
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                1 year ago

                Google shows conflicting answers and the Wikipedia page doesn’t list human milk.

                • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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                  1 year ago

                  And we all know how trustworthy Google Search is…

                • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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                  1 year ago

                  Well if you go by FDA’s Title 21 Chapter I Subchapter B Part 131 Subpart B then not only is human milk not a dairy product but the only animal who produces milk is a cow, however in 2018 they requested submissions weighing in on whether plant products should continue to use “dairy group” words such as milk and yogurt on their labeling, so I think there is probably some leeway on this.

        • Leate_Wonceslace@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 year ago

          Yes, but it’s pretty difficult to buy.

          • Sam Vimes@beehaw.org
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            1 year ago

            It’s not actually especially difficult. People who produce more than their kid needs will sell or give away the extra to people who are struggling to produce enough. Also… Some hardcore body builders buy it as well.

            • jlow (he/him)@beehaw.org
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              1 year ago

              There’s apparently also breastmilk ice-cream!

          • gandalf_der_12te
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            1 year ago

            Also, beware the diseases. Milk can spread virus AFAIK.

    • gregorum@lemm.ee
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      1 year ago

      They’re not warm blooded.

      depends on the climate. natural habitat: yes. grocery store: no.

      • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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        1 year ago

        By definition, “warm blooded” means “produce their own heat” (obviously drastically simplified). I don’t think it matters whether the coconut is on a deserted island or on the shelf at Woollies, it’s still not warm blooded.

        • Dave@lemmy.nz
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          1 year ago

          What if it’s on fire, using it’s own energy to produce the heat?

          • key@lemmy.keychat.org
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            1 year ago

            As I’m burning I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. I’m finally mammal.

            -the coconut

      • hydroptic@sopuli.xyz
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        1 year ago

        I mean, that sounds like poikilothermy to me

  • megopie@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    They don’t secrete a filtered blood derived substance through modified sweat glands, thus not milk producing, nearly milk substitute producing.

    Wild thought, vampires that drink milk instead of blood.

    • oo1@kbin.social
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      1 year ago

      you mean like human babies?

    • Crackhappy@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      Fuck. I’m a milk vampire.

      • Crackhappy@lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        Mampire?

        • jol
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          1 year ago

          Mamapire.

  • FiniteBanjo@lemmy.today
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    1 year ago

    Neither Coconuts nor Oats have Mammary Exocrine Glands

    • meyotch@slrpnk.net
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      1 year ago

      I heard that in Sheldon Coopers voice.

  • midnight@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Behold, a man!

  • jarfil@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    You can milk any animal that has nipples… but, do coconuts have nipples?!

    I rest my case 😎

    • Inevitable Waffles [Ohio]@midwest.social
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      1 year ago

      I have nipples @jarfil@beehaw.org , could you milk me?

      • nospoon@beehaw.org
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        1 year ago

        Is not about the nips, but the mammary glands.

  • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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    1 year ago

    Mammals aren’t “living organisms with fur and milk”. They’re “the most recent common ancestor of the echidna and the cat, and anything descended from that”.

    • pooberbee (they/she)@lemmy.ml
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      1 year ago

      Whoa, so cats came from coconuts?

      • metaStatic@kbin.social
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        1 year ago

        Then why are there still coconuts? Check mate atheists

        • TachyonTele@lemm.ee
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          1 year ago

          Proof that humans and coconuts lived together. Suck it science!

    • jarfil@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      You can milk a cat, that checks out.

    • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social
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      1 year ago

      echidna I understand, but why cat?

      • Zagorath@aussie.zone
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        1 year ago

        The actual definition is “monotremes and placental mammals”. I just picked one of each.

  • leftzero@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    Nah, coconuts don’t have the right kind of teeth and ear bones.

  • gandalf_der_12te
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    1 year ago

    While “having fur and producing milk” may have been the original description of mammals, biology no longer classifies things that way.

    Today, all of the classification is based on Clades, which can be established by doing DNA investigation (similarity matching). So, “mammals” are defined as a clade. And whether somebody falls into it or not depends on their DNA similarity. And coconut clearly do not belong into there.

  • nomad@infosec.pub
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    1 year ago

    Geez I thought we left the coconut fuckers back at the place which may not be named.

  • solanaceous@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    In this essay I will

  • gregorum@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    gasp!

    [ clutches pearls ]

  • PersonalDevKit@aussie.zone
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    1 year ago

    Vegans hate this one weird trick

  • cafuneandchill@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    I agree

  • AVincentInSpace@pawb.social
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    1 year ago

    coconuts are plants and you’re an idiot

    • Chris Remington@beehaw.orgOPM
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      1 year ago

      you’re an idiot

      Name-calling isn’t nice. Remember to be(e) nice at Beehaw. Consider this a warning.

      • AVincentInSpace@pawb.social
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        1 year ago

        JEEZ ok

      • gandalf_der_12te
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        But “idiot” isn’t a name, i guess?

        /jk Sorry, I’ll show myself out.

  • pooberbee (they/she)@lemmy.ml
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    deleted by creator

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