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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago

The dream of a quiet life

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The dream of a quiet life

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The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.worldM to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 11 months ago
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  • bolexforsoup@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    11 months ago

    You’ve got:

    • Shelter

    • Immortality

    • Tasteful antiques

    • Blood for sustenance which is pretty metal

    • A vibrant night life

    • Sex probably gets interesting AF

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Old Hungarian landlords trying to get a girl’s number on OnlyFans will say this all the time.

  • KeriKitty (They(/It))@pawb.social
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    11 months ago

    I tried but ended up in some guy’s attic instead :-\ At least there’s free weed 🤷 😅

    • Obi@sopuli.xyz
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      11 months ago

      Score!

  • Transporter Room 3@startrek.websiteBanned
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    11 months ago

    Is it still a feminine urge if I’m a dude?

    And can I bring my wife? She’d love the big creepy castle AND the queen-of-the-dead vibe.

    • variants@possumpat.io
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      11 months ago

      You can be hers and the vampires blood bag

  • Num10ck@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    replace vampires with cats and you’ve got Enya.

    • Sadrockman@sh.itjust.works
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      11 months ago

      Shit. Livin’ the dream.

  • sudo42@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    I suspect it has something to do with all the neck biting.

    • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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      11 months ago

      Historically, the vampire’s bite aims for the nap of the neck, the décolletage, and the inner thigh.

      Why women would be into this remains a mystery.

  • Infynis@midwest.social
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    11 months ago

    Everyone has this urge. That’s why vampires are so dangerous

  • BobbyNevada
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    11 months ago

    “BLEH! I’m sorry, I’m already in a committed relationship. Bleh!”

  • Sadrockman@sh.itjust.works
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    11 months ago

    I want that,minus the vampire,and I’m a dude…although I’d split the castle with him,and any ladies that joined him,if they left me alone.

  • nifty@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    Sure but would she still want him if he didn’t have the big creepy castle?

  • therealjcdenton@lemmy.zip
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    11 months ago

    Suspicious death due to blood loss

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 🏆@yiffit.net
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    11 months ago

    “What is a woman? A miserable pile of secrets!” - Dracula

  • HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world
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    11 months ago

    That’s feminine?

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