I’ve been unemployed for almost 6 months now. I wasn’t even paid enough while I was working, but now, I’ve depleted all my savings, my credit card balance is going up, I’m not even sure how much longer I can keep collecting unemployment, I still have absolutely zero job prospects, I’m having a hard time affording anything that gives me genuine enjoyment.

Beyond money, I don’t have a good social life. I really only have acquaintances who would all rather be with other people. Me thinking about finding love feels like me thinking about being a billionaire, basically just a fantasy so far from the conditions of my life, it’s absurd.

If I finally get a job, what then? I still have to scrounge to financially recover? I’m still alone? What do I even have to live for?

  • Angel [any]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    meow-hug Capitalism gets so many people to this point, yet so many people still have so much aversion to tearing it down.

    I’m really wishing the best for you. I’m in a decently similar spot, at least mentally, and I’m hoping I can get whatever happiness I can get in this system.

  • Mardoniush [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Vengeance. When capitalism makes life intolerable, Living is a Revolutionary Act.

    Don’t let the bastards get away with it. Do what you can so others don’t suffer as you have.

    • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      4 months ago

      When capitalism makes life intolerable, Living is a Revolutionary Act.

      I don’t agree. being totally alienated and suffering for more decades doesn’t change anything or contribute to a revolution. existing in our misery is just misery, it doesn’t go anywhere and our ends aren’t even served by adventurism.

      • Mardoniush [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        4 months ago

        I’m not talking about adventurism, I’m talking about survival in place.

        Even if you stay still, in a room, posting, the system still needs to use a small amount of resources to oppress you.

        Those resources are not being used on others. A thousand people who simply refuse to die can screen the acts of a dozen professional revolutionaries, and strain the system even more.

        I get that its miserable, and may never end, and I do everything I can to make people’s lives better, but ultimately its not about us, it’s about “The Cause”. And we have a duty to humanity to do what we can, even if that’s just exist.

        • robot_dog_with_gun [they/them]@hexbear.net
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          4 months ago

          Even if you stay still, in a room, posting, the system still needs to use a small amount of resources to oppress you.

          Those resources are not being used on others. A thousand people who simply refuse to die can screen the acts of a dozen professional revolutionaries, and strain the system even more.

          lol wut? i’m pretty sure the only resources I’m draining are the food I eat and the electricity I use. the system would be more inconvenienced if my family put me on the street

  • RyanGosling [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    I face similar struggles. While I’m currently employed part time, I don’t know what my prospects are once I’m done with school, but beyond that I don’t have much to live for either. I don’t care about life being inherently meaningless, but I haven’t been able to find anything that makes me care. People my age already have multiple years planned out ahead; some are at much more advanced positions than I am; others are talented enough to just shrug and succeed no matter where they end up. People say to not compare yourself to others, but when I have nothing under my belt beyond “I have a job and degree therefore I can eat and sleep on a bed,” I can’t help but feel pathetic and alone.

    My hobbies are solitary and I don’t care about them enough to be passionate or even engage in them regularly. I have people I call friends but rarely do they call me or text me invite me anywhere, and even when they do, I simply have nothing to say. No one to love or just mindlessly fuck. I’m in contact with my family but I don’t have anything to say to them either beyond small talk. I’ve participated in orgs, and while in private my anger and hatred for the injustices around me is fermenting, in real life I just feel like all that energy is depleted and siphoned away as I experience first hand repeatedly protesting with no progress made.

    I simply exist, but at the same time it feels like I’m not even here.

  • tamagotchicowboy [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Life doesn’t need to have a meaning that aligns with the idealist timeline held by society/media. I’ve done long stents of unemployment (longest was 7yrs), even have the same acquaintance situation (easy to hookup, beyond that idk about relationships never seriously tried), I just try for low grade improvement since its good to have some sort of small goals, when things are bad aim for ever smaller like finding things you enjoy. There’s other approaches for consolation, like life itself when one is held down so strongly being seen as a revolutionary act though very small in the scheme of things they compound over time.

    I only have credit cards since when I got kicked off medical they gave me some bs statement claiming I made 24k a year, I’ve so far made 8k this year and haven’t got back on (that extrapolating my income hurts), but this was good enough for me to get started with 2 cards since it worked as a statement of income. Now I’m recovering my credit from a bunch of identity theft I’ve had done under my name, which was weird to begin with since I only have student loans in my name, no real income nor credit history etc.

  • Poogona [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    4 months ago

    Later today when the sun is down I’ll have a moment where I say to myself, “I hope that miserable hexbear poster I saw earlier today is feeling better.”

    There isn’t much more I or many others here can do for you, but I have to believe that the person I saw struggling to stay afloat in this sink or swim shithole of a society can find a comfortable rhythm.

    You could always try opening up about this stuff to those shallow friendships of yours, they might not be as fragile as you think.