That really isn’t a good blanket policy. Bigots aren’t idiots (well yes they are, but you know what I mean), and they’re perfectly capable of noticing that you’re using nonbinary pronouns for someone and drawing the correct conclusion. Outing someone by omission is still outing them, even if your intentions were as pure as possible, and nobody stays in the closet without a good reason.
Pronouns are independent of using someone’s deadname.
I do admit I probably should have checked to see what Cara’s pronouns are (apologies if they are not she/her). But my general rule of thumb is that if we are talking about someone transitioning and people being weird about it: Assume they use whatever pronouns they present as until told otherwise. Because in that context, using gender neutral-ish pronouns (because “they/them” very much highlights the limits of the English language) implies they are something in between.
@Warl0k3
@NuXCOM_90Percent
If they’re not publicly out I use a lot of they/them and avoid the deadname.
That really isn’t a good blanket policy. Bigots aren’t idiots (well yes they are, but you know what I mean), and they’re perfectly capable of noticing that you’re using nonbinary pronouns for someone and drawing the correct conclusion. Outing someone by omission is still outing them, even if your intentions were as pure as possible, and nobody stays in the closet without a good reason.
Pronouns are independent of using someone’s deadname.
I do admit I probably should have checked to see what Cara’s pronouns are (apologies if they are not she/her). But my general rule of thumb is that if we are talking about someone transitioning and people being weird about it: Assume they use whatever pronouns they present as until told otherwise. Because in that context, using gender neutral-ish pronouns (because “they/them” very much highlights the limits of the English language) implies they are something in between.