• Dagwood222@lemm.eeEnglish
    83·
    3 months ago

    [off topic]

    Hitler is having a bad day at the office. He goes out to take a stroll. He sees Himmler walking along, giggling to himself.

    “What’s so funny?”

    “Oh, mein Fuhrer I just heard the funniest joke.”

    “I could use a laugh right now, tell it to me.”

    “Are you kidding? I had to shoot the guy who told it to me.”

  • SolarMonkey@slrpnk.netEnglish
    341·
    3 months ago

    I had something similar to this happen at a work holiday party.

    I was having a chat with one of the sysadmins, and had him absolutely laughing his ass off (very crude, highly nerdy, somewhat intellectual humor - I’m a very niche flavor, and not that funny at all generally, but someone with a good rapport and similar style? Oh man - we were rolling!). This particular sysadmin is known for being a tough nut to crack, not very social, very stoic (basically how I am in social situations), even “weird”, so this drew a ton of attention, and people, including HR, were coming over to ask what was so funny…

    Not my company (partner’s) so I’m not about to repeat shit! Plus they probably wouldn’t have understood the context anyway (tho at this point I don’t even remember; it was years ago, I just remember thinking “there’s really no point explaining this, it won’t be funny to them…)

    • xpinchx@lemmy.worldEnglish
      12·
      3 months ago

      “You had to be there” lol

      I hate those situations especially when it’s weird niche humor. You can’t explain the joke or tell them they won’t get it, it’s a lose-lose.

      • Cryophilia@lemmy.worldEnglish
        6·
        3 months ago

        An old Jew dies and goes to heaven. He’s waiting in line at the gates, and he’s telling a joke that has everyone cracking up. God is curious so he wanders over and asks what the joke is. The Jew says, “oh, it’s a Holocaust joke”. God says, " I don’t think Holocaust jokes are funny." The Jew says, “eh, you wouldnt get it, I guess you had to be there”

  • ColeSlothEnglish
    20·
    3 months ago

    I told a joke in 6th grade (sorry, it involves drawing and is a little Johnny joke, so can’t be typed out and be funny). The punchline was good and inappropriate, of course. My teacher overheard and laughed slightly, then said she was sorry, but she had to send me to the vp’s office for it.

    Naturally, the vp wanted to know the joke, so I asked for paper and busted it out on him. He outright laughed.

    He said he wouldn’t feel right punishing me after he laughed at my joke and just made me promise to not tell it at school again.

    This was in the beforetimes of internet, but you can probably find a version of it somewhere. Good jokes never die. Without ruining the punchline, I’d try searching “little Johnny school drawing mountain horizon”. Hopefully the internet hasn’t butchered it.

  • captainlezbian@lemmy.worldEnglish
    17·
    3 months ago

    As I tell my people on the shop floor, I’m not gonna tell on them for shop talk, but I’m not going to say anything at work that I’m afraid to have HR read back to me

  • thisbenzingring@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
    225·
    3 months ago

    I had a job that placed my office right across the hall from HR. There was only 3 HR people at that site but hundreds of employees. We were pretty friendly with each other. The manager would always have a joke.

    One day as we’re leaving work on a Friday before a 3 day weekend, she said to me

    See you next Tuesday!

    I started laughing and she is like what is so funny?

    Oh hell no! That was a moment. Let me say. I was like oh, yeah sorry I am never going to explain that to you. Best we forget it.

    • Notyou@sopuli.xyzEnglish
      2·
      3 months ago

      That reminds me when I was in high school and working at fast food. I went up to my shift manager after closing and asked if we were storing some food for morning shift, or are we just throwing it away. Depending on the food, we would do different things and this time we had salads left after closing. We normally never have salads, so I wasn’t sure and decided to ask my manager.

      I walked up to her while she was counting out money and said something like “did you want me to toss the salad or what?” I immediately heard a coworker bust out laughing at the dishwasher station. Bent over laughing. I finally realized what I said. I was trying to keep a straight face, but I was kinda shocked too. She just laughed a bit and said yeah throw them out.

  • where_am_i@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    121·
    3 months ago

    Shoulda told them that they won’t get it cuz it’s not for girls’ ears. An easy out-of-jail card.