• thepreciousboar@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      51
      ·
      1 month ago

      A big part of communication is learning to modulate your language registers. If you speak like a scientic paper is written when talking with your friends, people look strange at you.

      Also, sometimes simpler communocation is just more effective communication

    • Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      edit-2
      30 days ago

      While we’re at it, is it too much to ask for leniency in some instances of tone? It’s not my fault my autistic brain can’t hear the way my words come out. I overcompensate in work and in public by going “into character” as someone very cheery and positive - because any less than that inevitably leads to my “tone” overshadowing the content of my speech. My line of work requires my bosses to be knowledgable about autism, and I’ve even told my manager that my tone does not reflect my emotions.

      Yet if ever I get tired, overwhelmed, or simply have several new instructions thrown at me in a short amount of time, I’m left not only grappling with whatever I’m told to do, but my facade slips and I also get a talking to about “my tone.” I’m sorry, I do my best to control how I speak, but despite living over 30 years on this planet I still struggle with this “basic” aspect of communication. Holding it against me won’t solve anything, but it will contribute to my social anxiety and the sense that I simply don’t belong in society.

      • Bertuccio@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        30 days ago

        Tone is nearly always a bullshit argument used to dismiss the content of what’s said without addressing it.

        Good communicators don’t worry about it too much because there are lots of reasons someone can take a certain tone - for example if they’re tired or stressed! So they just make sure they understand what the person is conveying without worrying about how it’s conveyed.

        Someone who focuses much on tone is likely a poor communicator themselves, or frequently just trying to be manipulative.

      • Wilzax@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        19
        ·
        1 month ago

        Balderdash, the specificity employed in this context was superfluous in comparison to the minimum required for conveying his emotional response to the situation.

  • Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    56
    ·
    1 month ago

    An ex once told me her mother wasn’t a fan because talking to me was like talking to a thesaurus.

    Yeah, well, Donna, your daughter decided to start fucking me because I was the only person who could consistently beat her at words with friends.

    • MutilationWave@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      11
      ·
      edit-2
      1 month ago

      I had a girlfriend try to make me speak differently because I embarrassed her by using big words in front of others. The company you keep eh?

        • MutilationWave@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          3
          ·
          1 month ago

          Back then I was a mess socially. I’m still an introvert but I code switch like a pro. I only break out the big vocab with close friends who know I’m not trying to look smart.

    • BearOfaTime@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      1 month ago

      There’s an episode of Northern Exposure where a young woman says to Ed “give me your words” in a very sexual way. It’s outrageously funny, and simultaneously insightful.

      If you’ve never watched it, the writers are all about studying people, warts and all. Very thought-provoking.

  • AFK BRB Chocolate@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    46
    ·
    1 month ago

    It’s interesting, they used to think that having a big vocabulary or knowing multiple languages delayed having Alzheimer’s. It turns out that family often first become aware that a person is developing Alzheimer’s because the person starts regularly forgetting common words, but people with big vocabularies can come up with alternatives when they can’t remember one, so their family doesn’t recognize it as early. When those people are diagnosed, they end up being further along.

  • Todd Bonzalez@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    44
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 month ago

    I had a political conversation with a right-wing co-worker a while back, and he generally operated in good faith, but he got flustered and tried to do the “why do you use big/pretentious words” scold on me, and he did not handle it well when I responded “I guess home school and Liberty University didn’t land you with much of a vocabulary”.

    • OpenStars@discuss.online
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      27
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      1 month ago

      Consecrated fecal material, I entertained the notion that I had embarked upon this adventure without companions!

  • _number8_@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    31
    ·
    1 month ago

    i like when people use big words cause then i can learn a new word. it’s nice knowing words to say stuff with

  • ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    26
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 month ago

    Same energy as “your English is so good”. No, I just don’t know normal words.

    • Lemminary@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      20
      ·
      1 month ago

      I just don’t know normal words.

      As an ESL, I felt that in my bones. One time my boss asked me to get the pail to water the plants and my only exposure to that word had been the wailmer pail from the Pokémon games that I misremembered as a “whalepail”. It was awkward trying to explain why I was stumped.

  • FauxPseudo @lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    24
    ·
    30 days ago

    “This is a complex subject with a lot of subtleties. We have to choose the right words to make sure we avoid misunderstandings. Any sufficiently developed topic has a language all its own.”

  • Zexks@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    21
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 month ago

    My oldest bitches about me doing this constantly. ‘We haven’t learned that yet’. ‘Sorry it’s all the voices gave me’.

  • Infynis@midwest.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    16
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    1 month ago

    I write a lot of fantasy, and that definitely affects my practical vocabulary. I don’t think the specificity is needless though, especially in English, this Frankenstein of cognates and loaner words. You have so many options because the human experience is so diverse and multifaceted. Clarity helps, and it makes language more beautiful, something we should all strive for

  • BluesF@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    14
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    1 month ago

    Damn, no one ever put it into words like that but this describes me perfectly