• cyberic
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    23 days ago

    ITT: Lots of people not recognizing satire.

  • CTDummy@lemm.ee
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    23 days ago

    Man I hope the authors partner is aware of that page because the colour scheme alone is (was, I hope) a red flag. Also from the link up top -

    Mil would like to apologise: For the only thing for which his girlfriend hasn’t yet blamed him; The eruption of Mount St Helens. Sorry - don’t know what I was thinking

  • merde alors@sh.itjust.works
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    23 days ago

    I eat two-fingered Kit-Kats like I’d eat any other chocolate bars of that size, i.e., without feeling the need to snap them into two individual fingers first. Margret accused me of doing this, ‘deliberately to annoy her’.

    🤣

    • 9point6@lemmy.world
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      23 days ago

      Ikr, I was telling myself that I’ll finish reading that and get back to what I was doing—20 minutes later I realise I’m not even halfway

  • merde alors@sh.itjust.works
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    22 days ago

    Our sink is blue and we’re not talking about it. It happened over a week ago; I was leaning over the sink, brushing my teeth, when I noticed that there was a sort of lazuline patina that had seeped over most of the surface. Margret hasn’t mentioned anything about this. Why she hasn’t is that she’s obviously tried to clean the sink with, well, I don’t know, some fluid used for stripping entrenched cerriped colonies from the hulls of submarines or something (they were probably offering three bottles of the stuff for the price of two at Aldi). She is waiting for me to mention it. But I am a wily fox, and will be doing nothing of the sort. I’m no wet-behind-the-ears, naive youth anymore, not by a looooong way, and I can perfectly see the spiked pit the seemingly innocent words, ‘Did you know the sink’s blue’ are covering. It would go - precisely - like this: Me: Did you know the sink’s blue? Margret: Yes. I did. I used a jungle exfoliant produced by the Taiwanese military to clean it, and it discoloured the surface. Me: Oooooooo. K. Margret: Well maybe, just maybe, if you cleaned the sink once in a while… You see what she did there? Now I’m facing a whole day of ‘When did you last…?’ Well, not this canny fellow - not this time, my friends. Our sink is blue and we’re not talking about it.

    i think i will go get the books. i can’t stop reading this

    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zip
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      23 days ago

      I am mostly? straight, and the degree to which this kind of extremely hostile relationship is normalized has always just been completely baffling to me.

      I’ve known plenty of LGBTQ+ people, and its still the same… its not just straight people in my experience.

      I’ve known a few people that actually had loving relationships, but the vast, vast majority of people I’ve known are in or have been in extremely co-dependent, emotionally / physically / financially abusive, 80% of diaglogue between partners is insults played off as ‘playful’, one or both partners are obvious narcissicsts, passive-aggressive, make wildly stupid and irresponsible decisions…

      (what I mean by mostly? straight is that I don’t know a word for being masculine presenting myself, and being attracted to my preffered type of feminine presenting people, regardless of their current or original biological sex.)

  • tpyo@lemmy.world
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    22 days ago

    Haha omg I haven’t read this site in years thanks for bringing me back, and with new drama to pore over!