What is that supposed to be, i.e. what did he actually order?
The presence of pineapple and small glimpse of meat suggests a possible “burrito al pastor” that has been horribly virginiafied.
How disrespectful! That looks like the chef gave birth to that himself, just for you
Mexican restaurants in Hampton Roads also serve a “white salsa” that’s made out of miracle whip, garlic powder, oregano, milk, and crushed red pepper. Growing up you got a little bowl of each with your complimentary chips. Once I moved out of the area I realized it wasn’t Mexican at all and no one else does it.
Not the miracle whip nooooo
A lot of places will only give it to you if you ask for it now. But yeah, don’t ask for white sauce outside of Virginia because everyone else will look at you crazy. (Similar to being from Pittsburgh and just wanting some French fries on my salad…)
You just made me throw up a little in my mouth.
This restaurant served a “white sauce” with the chips but I didn’t think it was miracle whip. It was more like ranch dressing.
Some places are more mayonnaise-based and some are more ranch-tasting, because it’s just a Virginia thing I don’t think anyone has standardized it
You just made me want to murder someone.
This is exactly what I’d expect a Mexican joint in Virginia to serve.
Exactly. Source: I have lived in Virginia
Depends on where you are. There’s actually a big Hispanic community where I am in NoVA, and while I haven’t explored as much as I should, I at least found a pupusa restaurant near me that seems legit, and there are plenty of Peruvian places.
Hell, I live in a border state, and even here I’ve seen my fair share of white-washed Mexican food. Nothing as egregious as this, however. Worst I’ve seen is stuff like adding ground beef to the green chile (or using ground beef at all instead of asada). Or using sour cream instead of creama.
Well now that I think about it: minor offenses, honestly, compared to this disaster.
Green chile is a New Mexico thing, not a Mexican thing. Even Tex Mex hardly has any thing that would be considered green chile in it. Honestly New Mexico has completely destroyed Mexican food by slathering green chile on absolutely every god damn meal. It’s disgusting. Go to Mexico and you won’t find green chile anywhere.
Those minor offenses are actually just New Mexican fare. Ground beef in the green chile and sour cream are pretty par for course here.
New Mexico is on a whole different level when it comes to fucking up Mexican dishes. I ordered tamales at a New Mexican restaurant once and they put sauce on it. Freaking sauce on a tamale. To make matters worse, it tasted like the burnt bits from a red enchilada sauce that was left on the stove for way too long.
Needless to say, I learned my lesson. Forget meth, the new slogan should be, “New Mexican food: not even once.”
The safe thing to do is order traditional New Mexican food in New Mexico, like posolé, carne adovada, green chile stew, calabacitas, etc. Otherwise, it’s like going to Southern Spain and wanting amazing pintxos.
But it does sound like you went to a truly atrocious restaurant by the sound of that abomination; my condolences.
Aren’t you a fellow Texan? I’ve seen all kinds of crazy shit here, even in places like South Padre. There’s just something about that burrito that seems like a burrito made for someone who has never seen a burrito. And possibly by someone who only heard one described.
Arizona
I don’t know why I had it in my head that you were one of the other Texans around, sorry about that.
Well then… That is something for sure…
Not sure if it should be brough out back and shot or simply… Burned with kerosene…
https://www.mrpepemexicanrestaurant.us/Menu Mr Pepe Woodlake.pdf
Looks like maybe it was the burrito Pepe.
Burrito Pepe
One burrito filled with choice of grilled chicken, steak or carnitas, rice, black beans, pineapple chunks and chipotle sauce, topped with smoked gouda sauce. $14.99A Pepe it was for sure
That’s the one.
Well I got news for you… Your friend ordered that…
It’s not like they just serve up whatever it is they have that day.
Who tried to make an abomination of al pastor? Jesus Christ burn this person
Does pineapple belong in/on any Mexican food?
I have never seen anything like this before.
It sure does, Al Pastor is a very popular taco variant which features pineapple as an ingredient.
Yeah, al pastor is pork on a skewer with a pineapple glaze/marinade. It’s to die for.
There’s nothing like a good al pastor, and that is nothing like a good al pastor.
pineapple chunks
And people think putting pineapple on pizza should be a crime. This is the real crime. Pineapple in a burrito.
I’d argue pineapple (especially grilled) is actually really good in a burrito, if not “authentic”. The issue here is that it’s on the burrito, and the burrito looks terrible to begin with.
Is that the pineapple? At first I thought it was macaroni, and after reading the description I thought it was chunks of Gouda.
It seems a lot like a Maritime-style donair, which often has pineapple and a sweet sauce. Pretty similar concept of a thing in a flatbread shell.
Smoked gouda sauce!?!?!? With every new word it kept getting worse.
I love me a good smoked gouda cheese, but I wouldn’t put it anywhere near a Mexican dish.
“Mexican”
I am British and even our food has more colour and variety than this.
This post has taken the gutter crown of “worst burrito” away from the one time my friend ordered a burrito with no salsa, guac, cheese, beans, or vegetables. Man just wanted some beef and rice in a tortilla, and nothing else
We are indeed British
Why didn’t he just save time and buy a funnel
Is that pineapple chunks on top?
Yes
I’m so sorry.
Holy shit I know this is a pic but I swear I saw it move
Was there a single person of hispanic descent who works there?
Doesn’t matter, the mexican restaurant in my 30% hispanic town owned by a Mexican family serves shit like this to cater to the rich white yuppies that come to my town to cosplay blue collar living. I go to the hole in the wall 2 blocks away to get legit food.
Everyone I saw working there appeared hispanic. I was visiting a very white part of Virginia though. The restaurant was called “Mr Pepe”:
Darn. That’s such a bummer. Good mexican food is top tier and incredible. Sucks to see the abomination that you posted.
I’ve been to plenty of Mexican restaurants staffed entirely by lationos that served white people Mexican.
Even specifying what you’d like doesn’t seem to help lol. You just have to accept it.
Haha yes fair. I was just being snarky.
I grew up in New Mexico, we call the New Mexican food here Mexican. I moved to PA and later Maryland, I was very surprised at the difference in food and what was called Mexican. After I while I realized there was a huge difference between New Mexican, everything uses locally grown chile, similar to Anaheim chile. Versus the other stuff which uses a lot of poblano, and other types of chile.
And then there was the places that served white peoples Mexican food. Maryland crab enchilada was the worst I think.
Fellow New Mexican checking in; our food always incorporates a hatch chile sauce of one (or both) colors, and hot damn is it tasty! Having chile with every meal is probably the thing I miss about NM the most (after my parents, ofc). New Mexican food is its own category, separate from Mexican food.
We do Lemitar, or San Antonio chile here. Hatch only when the other two are not available.
If you are interested in exploring the multiplicity of Mexican foods, you should watch Pati Jinich. Her shows are travelogue/cooking, but her background is in poli-sci so it’s always as much about the culture as the food:
Sounds interesting, found her on youtube too:
It’s a crêpe right? That’s a condensed milk on top right? There are fruits inside right?
It’s a burrito. And that’s cheese.
For all I know this might not taste like shit, but that presentation is more of an insult than anything else.
You never seen a Hawaiian Burrito?
Hawaiiana
I’ve got a Mexican place by me that has a Hawaiiana Torta… I’m a bit curious.
The pics of the tacos look legit.
I see you, Pleasant Hill
Damn, food is expensive these days.
