Yeah no, fuck that shit. Not going to be lectured about how we should handle woman haters with kid gloves because they can’t handle rejection.
Like holy shit apparently getting rejected is only hard for cis men and it’s really fucking important. Guess what, it sucks for women just as much. Women get rejected too, but no one cares. Hell, no one even believes it because that sexism runs deep. Wait, actually no it sucks more for women because dating isn’t just putting your pride on the line, it’s risking assault and verbal abuse everytime too. Oh but on top of that they get to hear from incels (and the media) about how easy it is for women to date. But again, no one gives a shit, because they’re women, so who cares.
Meanwhile everywhere you look the media is discussing “Oh these poor frustrated young men. What a crisis. Oh those mean feminists! What do we do?” Because shit that’s just silently accepted as normal for everyone else to go through is apparently a crisis if it happens to a cis dude.
I’m not going to accommodate a scratched misogynist any more than I would a scratched liberal.
I have one good thing to say about the incel communities. When I was at my most lonely and a virgin, I would often read through the /r/incel subreddit and think “Wow at least I’m not as sad as these losers.”
My harrowing close experience with inceldom:
- Heard about “incel communities,” where “incel” was short for “involuntary celibate”
- “Hey that sounds like me. It’d be nice to have a community where such people can support each other without assholes virgin shaming us. I should check them out.”
- Find an incel forum
- Start reading posts to see if it’s a good fit for me
- Dawning horror
- Jettison any notions of identifying as “incel” so fast they achieve escape velocity
It’s like a cult, they never want to actually improve or help each other, they just want to be angry and sad, and blame it all on women and minorities. There used to be some subreddits which actually was for men to talk about their lifes and frustations and people would actually give good advice instead of incel shit.
Had the same thing happen with “men going their own way” shit. Got cheated on. Got depressed. Didn’t want to date or have sex. Saw the title. Hey I’m a man. I kinda want to go my own way. Let’s see what this is about. Working out for strength and endurance instead of vanity? Celebrating our silly man bodies? Something positive?
Read the content. Ran away as hard as I could.
the whole premise of men “going their own way” (i.e. cut off women entirely) after they have a negative experience with one is blatantly misogynistic in and of itself
where such people can support each other without assholes virgin shaming us
The funny part is that even that much isn’t true. They constantly ritually shame each other for being virgins and supposedly subhuman. You’re way better off talking to normal people if you don’t want to be abused for your virginity.
It was funny because I remember reading that shit and incels would make a good point about how modern dating norms suck, then they’d take a wild turn to blaming it on women. I was glad that I had already done enough introspection at that point in my life to know that kind of stuff was bullshit.
Funnily enough that’s actually how the whole subculture started. A sweet and well-intentioned college student started an email chain for her and others in the same situation as her. She stopped checking in on it after some years and then… Here we are.
You had me in the first half lol.
Women get rejected too, but no one cares. Hell, no one even believes it because that sexism runs deep.
They don’t even know that the word incel was literally coined to describe a woman’s experience. It’s aggravating
The real tragedy behind the whole “incel phenomenon” is really this. It is not a surprise that there is a growing loneliness in people living under late-stage capitalism or that as patriarchy gets dismantled that there is a growing portion of people for whom the patriarchal norms of dating and relationships just no longer work and who are struggling as new forms of relationships only very slowly begin to form. That an originally inclusive community gets so completely taken over by these miserable misogynistic forces is just simply terrible and tragic, but sadly also not particularly surprising, considering the way basically everything else in the world is going.
Wait till you hear what incels think about “femcels”
Preeeeaaachhhhhhh!!!
When I’d go on dates, 3 different people would know and we’d check in regularly. That shouldn’t be normal but men made it necessary.
I swear there are mascs on this site who got badly rejected by a girl they were obsessed with in high school or something and absolutely refuse to let it go, like that experience is one of the core filters they view the entire world through. Idk how else to explain the sheer number of mascs here who explicitly empathize with incels to the point of telling femmes and enbys that ackshully they’re the problem for wanting to feel safe
It’s very telling. Clearly they’re so used to being catered to that being told no is a huge deal for them.
to the point of telling femmes and enbys that ackshully they’re the problem for wanting to feel safe
Same mentality that makes crackers look at the concept of Black nationalism and self-determination (i.e. “a state away from white supremacy”) and only see klansmen with Black faces and the same magnitude of hatred. Exact same.
Oh but on top of that they get to hear from incels (and the media) about how easy it is for women to date. But again, no one gives a shit, because they’re women, so who cares.
I had one who came onto my tumblr the other day liking a post of mine and when I checked him out he was complaining about how women are never lonely and can have companionship at the drop of a hat. So I blocked him, not putting up with that line of thought.
Yes we can have companionship at the drop of a hat! It’s called friendship. It’s called being a real friend to your friends
No shit, but incels view anything with women in a totally transactional manner with sex involved so the idea of being friends with the opposite sex without fucking is alien to them.
The absolute irony of this is that they view everything with women in a transactional manner yet are unwilling to pay a sex worker for the sex they want. 🤦🏼♀️
Having spent some time in the mra/mgtow adjacent manosphere during my shithead phase they absolutely don’t want to because it like doesn’t “count” according to them if you pay for sex. It feels like it’s just moving the goal posts so they can remain stuck in their misery of being lonely tbh
Honestly, I can see how the conclusion follows from the incredibly fucked premise.
A common assumption in society is that if you are a virgin past a certain age, it must be because you’re a completely repulsive, inferior human being. Having sex thus becomes the only way to prove that you have some sort of redeeming value, that you aren’t some subhuman abomination. Sex with a prostitute doesn’t confer this humanizing legitimacy because a prostitute doesn’t really want to have sex with you; they’re just willing to put up with doing so for money, much in the same way that a sewer worker is willing to wade in feces for a paycheck.
Yeah it follows a painful fucked logic.
I’m glad you clawed your way out of that spaceOh I was bad, totally into incel shit and fashy memes off 4chan. Not to excuse it but I was heavily drinking at the time too. Stereotypical it was right after a break up with a woman I wanted to marry so I was super bitter.
I’m sorry if I am wrong, but it doesn’t seem to me like there is any “moving of the goal posts” or “painful fucked up logic” here. It is not at all strange or weird or wrong to want to be wanted for yourself. There seems to me to be a clear difference between sex with an intimate partner who also desires sex with you for the sake of it, and the clearly transactional nature of employing the services of a sex worker. It is only if we buy into the patriarchal misogynistic transactional logic of the incel themselves that these two acts are at all comparable. (sorry if there is some misogynistic logic in my argument or if there is something I am missing here (please tell me if there is), but I just really don’t know how to read your posts in any other way (edit: like i can’t read your post in any other way than it criticizing incels for not following through in their misogynistic logic, as if that logic in itself wasn’t the problem to begin with))
I gotta admit, it certainly doesn’t feel like friendship is something that can be found at the drop of a hat either these days.
This is fair, making new friends can be hard. Doing activities you enjoy can help but it’s definitely much harder as an adult. Just like romantic relationships, finding friendship requires making an effort and putting yourself out there. The average incel doesn’t seem willing or able to do those things.
friends is probably harder. my long-term relationship lasted years longer than any platonic acquaintance, which were all some centered on some task or event and dissolved each time as everyone went home.
Unlocking the thread now that more mod eyes are on it, any more he/hims who want to come in here and post paragraphs defending violents misogynists will be copping a ban. Do y’all believe there’s a misogyny problem on Hexbear yet?
Thanks everyone on the admin team, and sorry I started going through it and realized it was way over my little baby mod head to handle on my own
I feel terrible that I caused you so much stress
Omg no it was 100% not you. You did nothing wrong at all comrade. You should feel like this is a safe space for you to vent and you should feel supported not attacked by incel defenders! I’m sorry that you had to see some of the heinous shit folks were saying! I’m glad the community volunteers stepped in to help clean it up because you and anyone should absolutely be allowed to make posts like this
Thank you for all your hard work.
nah, sometimes you gotta tell em
our beautiful mods know we love them
“Oh these poor frustrated young men. What a crisis. Oh those mean feminists! What do we do?”
There’s no male loneliness crisis. There is however a male entitlement crisis.
I mean, it seems more constructive to say there is a general loneliness crisis, affecting women, NBs, and even non-incel men.
Correct, but the fact that men are singled out as the group suffering and the association of this partially constructed phenomenon with not having women available shows that it’s an entitlement crisis (symptom of patriarchy in crisis).
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but it’s not a constructive approach, nor is it a way to find an actual solution to the problem so that more people don’t need to suffer from what these systems do. Are you in the bell hooks reading group? She explains something to this effect right in the opening of Will to Change.
I can’t believe this is happening again, how many people are reading Will to Change and concluding that the book supports defending incels??? Y’all need to be involved in the fucking reading group so we can excise these brainworms, jesus fuckin christ
Like I’ve said, I agree there’s a general loneliness crisis due to the continued development of capitalism. The gendered component (grievances) is based on entitlement, so any “decent male” suffering the “male loneliness crisis” is either just a man experiencing the universal loneliness crisis, or a not-so-decent man who wants a GF.
me when i got rejected: cool, we good tho? continues being good friends
incels when rejected: and now i changed my entire personality and life to be as feral and disgusting as possible
incels when rejected: and now i changed my entire personality and life to be as feral and disgusting as possible
Lots of incels were already like that. Some always wanted a reign of terror, but were waiting to do it in a way where they felt there’d be little to no consequence for themselves. The more fascist a place gets the more quiet incels go mask off.
incels when rejected: and now i changed my entire personality and life to be as feral and disgusting as possible
I guess they always were disgusting people, and they thought they were entitled to a partner because they were “nice” or because they did something nice to said person. Some people will say the upbringing and media could have influenced these people to “become” incels, but I believe most of them already were entitled angry people who just can’t handle a rejection and blame feminism or other stuff for their own faults, at least most of the time.
When I was fresh out of highschool there was an incel in my circle. Everyday he was around he’d spend at least 10 minutes straight talking about how girls like me never talk guys like him because he’s too nice. He’d list all the nice things he’s ever done for everyone. The whole time, he would talk in the most fragile sad voice he could manage, pretending he was on the edge of bursting into tears. He would even stick out and quiver his bottom lip. “I’m one of the NICEST people ANYONE could EVER meet!,” he’d whimper while fake crying, never producing actual tears. I can’t believe I talked to that guy, I didn’t know any better.
Word is he now a r*pist.
EDIT: And he still thinks he’s one of the most incredible and nicest humans in history. Someone says he claims it was sex because she was supposed to just have sex with him. So he’s rationalizing if he takes what he thinks he deserves, non-consent has the same result, non-consent is sex to him.
A different woman told me she didn’t realize she got assaulted when she was younger because she thought P in the V is what girlfriends are supposed to do. Wether they want to or not. This is a deeply ingrained patriarchal belief across a lot of society. And incels can take part in this belief.
BASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASEDBASED
Work Camps for Incels. Make them build housing or some shit, some good use for their miserable existence for once
This probably would also go a good way towards fixing the issues as well. Once again mao has shown us the way.
What about re-education? Being an incel is not an essential characteristic, despite what many people, including they themselves, believe.
Doing something useful would be a step
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I’m talking about giving people fucking jobs thar contribute meaningfully as part of a rehabilitation. I’m not talking about fucking slave labor, job placement and vocational training are good
You just cannot help yourself
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Real cool opinions man
I see you still can’t stay in your own goddamn lane. This isn’t the first time you’ve tried to talk over folk at all.
every camp has a group of forewomen leaders, and anyone caught abusing the forewomen immediately gets sniped from the guardtowers
Wait, actually no it sucks more for women because dating isn’t just putting your pride on the line, it’s risking assault and verbal abuse everytime too. Oh but on top of that they get to hear from incels (and the media) about how easy it is for women to date. But again, no one gives a shit, because they’re women, so who cares.
Denim Day is a day where people wear jeans in solidarity with assault victims after a woman lost aremoved trial. The jury blamed theremoved as her fault because she wore tight jeans. The assaulter went free.
Denim Day takes place on the last Wednesday of April, which is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. This day of action and awareness is an event in which people are encouraged to wear denim to combat victim blaming and educate others about sexual violence.[1] The day comes following a high profile Italianremoved trial where the survivor was blamed for herremoved because of the type of jeans she was wearing.[2] In protest and solidarity, individuals are encouraged to wear denim to combat the idea thatremoved and sexual violence are the fault or responsibility of survivors.
I’m apparently the only mod in this comm and don’t have time to monitor all the shit opinions cis dudes are throwing around in this thread, so I’m locking it.
Not sure how we get more mods but @CARCOSA@hexbear.net we could use some, thank you!
Thank you and sorry for causing this.
it really isn’t your fault though: this site should be a safe place to vent about misogyny without a bunch of dudebros showing up and getting defensive. it really sucks that you can’t apparently.
This is the way.
Want to remind the dudes here being disingenuous and claiming we are all for “shaming men for failing at dating and being lonely” that no, we fucking aren’t, obviously.
Incel doesn’t just mean “involuntary celebrate”. It refers to a movement of anti-feminist men that specifically hate women and normalise the psychological manipulation of women. Not even mentioning the ones that want to force state mandated girlfriends, which is, you know, sexual fucking assault?
Unless you are a misogynist, we are not talking about you.
Plenty of people on this site, including cis men, are able to talk about how much dating sucks without resorting to talking about women as if they are the problem, and without minimising the fact that women go through the same troubles.
