• blandfordforever@lemm.ee
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    2 days ago

    The wholesome message here is that you have to present your true self to your partner, rather early in the relationship. Eventually, you’re going to become comfortable and start putting less effort into your appearance and behaviors. If it ends up being the case that your partner is not attracted to you in your default state, the relationship is doomed to fail.

    • Kacarott@aussie.zone
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      2 days ago

      rather early

      Make that straight away. Be someone who can put in some effort for special occasions (like dates) but never give the impression you are anyone you are not.

      • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.netOP
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        1 day ago

        Maybe not that early, and also not everything.

        When we met, I was obsessed with collecting dead bugs and in retrospect, I kinda sucked at it and it was gross. I didn’t tell her about it until a few years later and she laughed at it. But had I told her about it at the start, I dunno.

        My wife also hid her Tarot cards collection. For good reason too… At the time, I was extremely bitter at the state of Collectable card games and was trashing everything. But a few years later when I wasn’t such an asshole about it, I accepted her hobby.

      • blandfordforever@lemm.ee
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        2 days ago

        I find that it’s best to restrain my excessive (pathological, frankly) flatulence until at least the 4th date. I definitely do attempt to falsely present myself as someone who lacks excessive gas.

        • OmnislashIsACloudApp@lemmy.world
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          1 day ago

          Dutch ovened my now wife on our third date like 16 years ago

          broke her brain for a couple of minutes while she tried to be pissed and shocked but couldn’t stop laughing lol

  • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.netOP
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    2 days ago

    In my 20s, this girl I met was vomiting from both ends from a bad night of partying, and I was there taking care of her. She ugly-cried about how other guys left her in her mess.

    We’ve been married for more than a decade.

    • kitnaht@lemmy.world
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      2 days ago

      Hell yeah. When I met my wife, she was overweight and all her previous relationships had ended because of her Ichthyosis. It’s a bad skin condition which makes her have scales all over (or at least mostly all over) – she doesn’t have the WORST kind, but she was kind and loving; but very emotionally damaged from it. We’ve been together 20 years now, and now she’s the super skinny one, and the skin condition has never bothered me. Now I am the one getting the looks like “How’d this ugly mother fucker bag HER?!”

      Looks is great and all, but it’s not everything. And Marriage isn’t a picnic either - you gotta be stupidly open and honest to not let any secrets brew between you. She’s my best friend and honestly I couldn’t live without her.

  • stebo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 days ago

    pyjama’s, glasses, retainers, no make up

    if that’s the worst she can do I’d marry her too

  • mortemtyrannis@lemmy.ml
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    2 days ago

    If there’s a chance of sex I don’t think the average male is going to care if you wear grinch pyjamas.

  • Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I find comfy PJs to be very sexy. You can have all the fancy bedroom decor you want but if your Sims aren’t relaxed they’re not gonna make whoopie.

  • GraniteM@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I was hanging out with this woman and we made some boffer swords. Now, these are soft… ish. They’re made from half-inch PVC with foam pool noodle on top and the whole thing wrapped in duct tape. You can take a direct hit from one of these without it seriously injuring you, but it’s not exactly pleasant. She had little to no experience with larping, but we took them out on the driveway and went at it a bit. I accidentally, and I really want to emphasize that, accidentally hit her full in the face with this foam bat. I apologized and we went again… and then I full-on hit her in the face again. And I apologized, and she smiled, and we continued to have a good time sword fighting.

    So anyway, we got married and our daughter is almost five now.

  • ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works
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    2 days ago

    I mean that’s a level of honesty most people crave though. It takes a lot of self worth and security to be that honest too.

  • qyron@sopuli.xyz
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    2 days ago

    If I’m to be straightforward, I’m not too much for the all dolled up look. That’s for show, a moment. Give me a fresh out of bed look: the messed hair, the puffy eyes, the morning breath, even that involuntary relief fart on the toilet. That’s the real person under all the veneer.

  • Majorllama@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Jokes on you I have found every single ex way more attractive in one of my t shirts and boxers walking around the house looking like a homeless crackhead than I ever have when they get all dressed up and spend hours on makeup.

    I’m happy for them to do it when they want to do it, but I would be perfectly happy if they never wore makeup or fancy dresses ever again lol.

    • rumba@lemmy.zip
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      2 days ago

      God yes, makeup is horrible :)

      Here, let’s cover up in skin shade, now browns, now red to look like I’m horny, now blue, because…um, blue is pretty. And unless they’re wearing REALLY expensive shit, it gets all over everything. Unless you’re trying to cover up severe scarring and don’t want to draw looks, I don’t really see the point, and even then, just put it out there, F’em

      And heels, 2 hours into any given night, sore feet and 17 nearly twisted ankles.

      I’ve never been a fan.

  • 474D@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    I mean that’s basically the “after sex” look so yes it works but perhaps for the wrong reason lol

  • KomfortablesKissen
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    2 days ago

    Hell yeah. Now if I do the same and she’s still around then I’ll make her coffee every morning. Still be looking like shit though.

  • RBWells@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    Oh God once I had a “status migraine” (if you don’t know don’t ask you don’t want to know) and had to go to my doctor to get shot up with an elephant’s worth of painkillers to sort of take the edge off and knock me out and stuff to stop me from puking, and they let my boyfriend in while I was literally bent over the table with my pants down getting a shot in my butt, vomiting. Not my husband, or other family member. My boyfriend. That doctor was no respecter of medical privacy, that’s for sure.

    We are married now, for years. And he does say that cozy clothes are sexy clothes. Also socks that go past the knee, lol.