I’ve had severe demand avoidance my whole life. If people interrupt me or keep trying to get my attention without considerable breaks, I get quite overwhelmed. I mean that I can easily go into a complete meltdown if someone continues to interrupt me after I’ve asked them to please stop, even if their interruption is seemingly helpful and selfless.

I seriously broke up with a girl that loved the hell out of me because she just couldn’t stop interrupting me when I was engaged in something. I completely blocked another friend I had for ~17 years after going on an international trip with him because after asking him repeatedly to please stop blurting out every single idea he has, to save them until I seem like I want to hear it. Nope, he just couldn’t do that. It is just completely unbearable for me, and after leaving the trip on my own earlier than planned, I blocked all opportunities for him to contact me. I would be happy to never hear from or of him ever again. That’s how much I cannot tolerate demands.

Aside from that, the best part of my day is when I go to bed to lie down for the night. It is my safe place where I know no one will interrupt me because everyone is asleep. This happens even if I live alone.

Unfortunately, the way this plays out is that I end up isolating myself and have pretty bad sleep issues since I basically stay in bed awake for hours at night. It’s like my body wakes up once I hit the bed, which is terrible for sleep hygiene. Last night, I went to best at midnight and didn’t fall asleep until 5am, so I’m exhausted-tired today.

I’m working with a therapist to develop a social circle that is healthier for me, so that’s on the horizon…hopefully. When I review my life, my favorite relationships are ones where I just co-exist with someone in the same space without much direct verbal interaction. I enjoy touch and sharing, but not if they talk a lot. And if they do talk a lot, I prefer if they keep the talking consolidated rather than spreading it out throughout the day. I can tolerate 2 hour conversations wayyy better than 6 hours of talking for 5 mins repeatedly.

Any other suggestions on how to manage this?

      • rainy@reddthat.comEnglish
        43·
        9 months ago

        Tbh it came off to me more like “tough-love” than asshole… I think there’s some valid points said here. Some people need the blunt approach for advice.

        I don’t really see what your comment adds to this discussion.

        • CaptObvious@literature.cafeEnglish
          51·
          9 months ago

          As an autistic person, it comes off as arrogant in the extreme. This person isn’t offering advice of any sort. They’re simply trying to tear down someone who’s vulnerable. They’re a bully.

          ETA: Just noticed that you created a new account just to post this. I don’t see what you add to the discussion.

          • rainy@reddthat.comEnglish
            11·
            9 months ago

            I posted a separate comment talking about my experience with the subject and what I did about it in an attempt to see if that would help OP.

            It’s fine to have different perspectives about things. I enjoy hearing different points of view. I just feel like being closed minded and assuming the worst of a person is not very productive and doesn’t do much to help OP.

        • Baku@aussie.zoneEnglish
          14·
          9 months ago

          Jesus Christ. I was on the fence until you said you work in disability support. To be perfectly honest, with the way you talk and treat people, I wouldn’t be surprised if your clients are just too scared to tell you they don’t appreciate your directness, and that’s assuming they’re verbal and have the capacity to be able to tell you in the first place. Otherwise that’s an even bigger yikes

          And although this community isn’t a “big hug box”, since you seem to think it is, why tf are you even here? Ranting about people with autism to a community of people with autism has got to be one of the stupidest things I’ve ever heard. Quit your trolling.

        • avalokiteshaEnglish
          13·
          9 months ago

          I don’t know you or anything about you but what you said, but holy shit. If I was in your care, I would end up more traumatized than before.

          Boundaries are a thing. If people refuse to accept boundaries, as some therapist and especially nurses like very much to do, they are toxic. If someone tells you they don’t want to be interrupted sometimes, respect that. Don’t go all “I know what’s best for you”, unless yop’re talking to a literal child - and even then think about whether you’re just telling the child what to do because you don’t think it should be doing what it wants or because it’s really better for the kid.

          Some people need alone time. It’s called introversion. An international trip with constant blabbering sounds like a nightmare. I’m imagining they had booked a double room with no option for OP to withdraw. I would melt down in two days.

          Not everyone is maladapted and blaming others. Some people have good reason for what you deem unreasonable demands. I don’t know if your client are full-blown adults or have a handicap where their judgement is impaired somewhat, but I want to encourage you to stop and think whether what you’re teaching them actually helps them and fits their individual needs or whether you you think you figured out a blanket approach that you try to get everyone to follow, no matter their mental needs.

          Edit: I, too, have a relationship, a great circle of friends and a well-paying full-time job, if you want to claim authorities in something here. And I do set healthy boundaries like OP does. There is no one-size-fits-all.

        • CaptObvious@literature.cafeEnglish
          32·
          9 months ago

          As an autistic person, I genuinely feel sorry for anyone who comes to you for “advice.” Fortunately, a lot of autistic people quickly see through bullshit.

          BTW, a genuine mental health professional would know that that they could lose their license for dispensing treatment unethically to a patient they’ve never examined.

          Good luck with your TikTok followers (erm, checks notes) “clients.”

    • torpakEnglish
      61·
      9 months ago

      Do you know what type of community this is? While I don’t suffer to the same degree as OP I need some time to wind down every day. Being interrupted in that time is a stressful experience for me and negates the benefits of at least half an hour of relaxation. I am married and I do have friends and they respect my clearly communicated boundaries just as I respect theirs.