Compromise to a certain extent, but giving each other space to do their favourite hobbies and things insofar it doesn’t hurt the community.
My partner might be talking a ton about their special interests and I sometimes get bored, but I do listen, becaus I know they’re interested in it. Vice versa the same. But if both of us are interested about it, then we do talk a lot!
You can just ask people out. In my youth I wasted a lot of time pining for people. Then one of my friends was like “just ask them out. If they say no, move on”.
More broadly, just ask for what you need. Waiting for other people to guess stinks.
See also: ask vs guess culture. Short Guardian article on it: https://archive.is/GBZBf
(I know some people are guessers and will claim it works for them, but everyone I know who is a guesser has a lot of pain from waiting for people to guess or people guessing wrong.)
These both apply to romantic and platonic relationships.
Genuinely apologizing promptly after a fracture makes a huge difference. Avoiding it because you’re conflict-averse or self-loathing will make it into a much bigger deal that is harder or perhaps not possible to repair.
When someone tells you that you’ve hurt them or behaved in a way that is unacceptable to them, it’s not an attack on you, but an act of love and trust.* If you don’t care enough about someone to stay in a relationship with them, you leave or fade out. If you do, you give them the chance to apologize and grow.
*Not applicable to abusive relationships.
It’s a cliche but “be yourself”. If you’re putting a performance on or hiding your needs then it might work for a bit but won’t work long term
Unless you somehow internalize the act (thus making it no longer an act) it will come out. And then the fireworks begin.
Yep!
Healthy relationships have boundaries too. You are not responsible for managing the other person’s emotions. Which doesn’t mean you can’t empathize and/or try to help where it’s warranted and wanted, just that their feelings are theirs and don’t need to be yours as well.
Relationships go two ways.
This means you better make damned sure you’re bringing something to the relationship. But it’s also a red flag if they aren’t bringing anything.
Take your time when starting something new. Wait, carefully observe and see for a good span of several months before giving it a label.
With my wife, definitely patience. The more patience you give the more you receive (if they’re a good partner).
sooner than what?
Than when you finally learned it?
how could i know something sooner than i’d learned it?
I really have no time for pedantry for pedantry’s sake. Buh-bye.
Than current.
