• Klanky@sopuli.xyz
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    9 months ago

    You get the latest completed model that rolls off the production line ( so every X seconds) and the MSRP is deducted from your bank account for each one.

    • Otter@lemmy.ca
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      9 months ago

      Lmao this one is good

      Even if you didn’t get charged, enjoy not being able to use it because it keeps resetting

  • zero_spelled_with_an_ecks@programming.dev
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    9 months ago

    Granted. It’s magically enhanced to suit Apple’s needs, not yours, and the models constantly veer towards enshittfication. It spies on you more and more while doing less and less. You have to watch ads to open apps. Contacts constantly receive sponsored messages from you and eventually block you on all platforms. Only the advertisers want anything to do with you anymore.

    • sramder@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      But is still magically enhanced. Siri is super smart now and also your only semblance of human contact. You spend the rest of your life feeling inferior to your phone.

  • squid@feddit.uk
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    9 months ago

    Your iPhone is magical and it transforms to the latest French fashion models, the ordeal is traumatizing and the models go crazy, you find yourself talking to the police and health care professionals on a daily basis

  • ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one
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    9 months ago

    You find yourself disappointed in your iPhone and will be constantly waiting eagerly for the next iPhone only to be disappointed again. You are unable to get rid of your iPhone and continue to use it. When asked why you continue to use the iPhone that you are clearly disappointed in, you make excuses to continue to use it.

  • Goodtoknow@lemmy.ca
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    9 months ago

    Granted. You’re phone is now constantly morphing and changing in your hand into the a newer and newer models, this not only makes it unusable, but witnessing such a constant, ever changing item melt into continually futuristic technology 1000s of years ahead of what we have now, drives you to clinical insanity. You have witnessed things your 21st mind can’t possibly comprehend, and you are admitted as a ward of the state for life.

  • voodooattack@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    Granted. But your new magical iPhone is an actual smart phone. It tries to magically help you communicate better by reading your mind and sending your inner thoughts to your contacts whenever you think of them.

  • actionjbone@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Granted. Apple files for bankruptcy and is liquidated, and the iPhone you already have is the final model ever created.