So I was diagnosed with ADHD in my late thirties and before that I was a mess, job to job etc. then got lucky and worked for a company that afforded me the chance to study for my dream job without work pressure.
I am now a software developer and although I went from being the smartest person in the groups I roamed to the dumbest person at work I still have half a foot in my old life of drugs and poor decisions (although the usage has dropped by 95% and I’ve got a good routine and go to bed early).
I feel like a pretentious dick when at a party and someone asks what I do for work, I kinda feel ashamed saying I’m a software developer. Like a fraud I guess.
How to stop this?
Being able to clean yourself up from drugs sounds like you do not have the same level of addictive personality as many people that can not. I come from something similar and it gets easier. More so, I find my experiences are incredibly valuable in that I can see perspectives from multiple angles.
Point is you can use your experience as a benefit than a negative. With time comes confidence. Particularly if you are engaged in the career path you took. Flow with it.