Is this rage bait? Why would you answer enthusiastically if you don’t want to do it or don’t have time? Just say “sorry have to work, maybe another time”.
And if you feel you don’t get anything back, just don’t have sex with them? Are you forced to do this?
If I didn’t censor all my thoughts everything that goes through my mind would be considered rage bait. This is a real situation and this is really how my mind works. Notice I have not sent that text to him because I know it is not nice. That’s why I came to all you strangers for help, how to be a normal non-rage-baity person, plz help.
They want the validation of being wanted.
That’s the problem. That’s why they would just say no or ignore it. They want the attention. And they want the bigger attention of ‘being offended’ by it and posting it online.
you can tell her youre not interested much more politely. Whats this nonsense about “owing 600$”?
I’m a woman. He’s a man.
If he wants to keep me awake all Saturday night then I’ll have to miss two days of work which = $600 lost wages. Did I not already explain that to you?
Hmmmm interesting, not their problem tho.
Honestly that does change my opinion, rightly or wrongly.
If you were an IRL friend asking me if you should send it, I would say yes.
I assumed the genders were reversed. Apologies
They’re saying they earn $300 per day and would be out that amount if they took 2 days off?
Hey, I just realized that I have to work that weekend. To be fair to you, maybe we should reschedule for another weekend where I’m not working. What do you think?
Acknowledge you made a mistake, offer a solution (that does not make him feel extorted or that he’s the asshole), and give him the opportunity to decide for himself. He deserves that much, don’t you think?
I work every weekend for the rest of my life. That’s my life.
I’d just remind him of that. Is 2026, you’re allowed to fuck on a Tuesday.
Funny you mentioned that, the first time we fucked happened to be on a Tuesday, December 9th 😄
Well the first tip is obviously don’t start with a strong yes and then in your next message act like you’ve always hated this person and have always strongly rejected their advances?
Also, what, are you a whore? Don’t demand money for sex if you dont want people to think that.
No I’m not a whore which makes me even more valuable than a w**** because I take impeccable care of my health and nutrition which makes me muscular and fit and beautiful and highly desirable, now he’s been treating me like an unpaid w**** .
This is why relationships exist. Ideally sexual partners live together so they can have sex whenever they want to. These booty calls and hookups and schedule conflicts and having to drive 40 minutes to see each other is getting tiresome. I am not a prostitute. But if he’s going to treat me like one…
You’re the only one in this conversation that has mentioned money. You either excluded context or are just talking out of your ass. If you don’t like the dude, break up/stop hooking up. Don’t be weird and keep going back and forth
I’m mentioning money because I have a job that requires me to work every weekend. I earn average $600 every weekend. If he interferes with my job that weekend then he is inconveniencing me for his own orgasm. He gets an orgasm and I lose $600. Do you see the disparity there? To solve the disparity he should pay me $600 for his orgasm, so he gets what he wants without me having to sacrifice a whole weekend of income for him.
He offered for you to sleep over. You accepted. Nobody is forcing you to do anything, I don’t know why you feel like you’re a victim in this scenario. Just stop being hit and cold and pick a fuckin’ lane.
solve the disparity he should pay me $600 for his orgasm
Yes, that very literally makes you a whore.
I am not a whore. I’m a disabled veteran but still have to go to work to survive. That’s torture in itself. Work very hard for very little pay because apparently that’s how little the world values massage therapists.
Getting to the point I’m sick of people taking and giving nothing in return. I make daily agonizing nutritional sacrifices to maintain my health which results in being cute & sexy & and healthy as fuck but also a shy passive personality so people take advantage of me and they come out winning and I come out losing. Everyone wants a piece of me but they give nothing in return.
Update: he visited me today and he got his orgasm and he ate $10 worth of my food. I can barely afford to feed my own self. Do you think he owes me $10 for my food he ate? He gave me nothing in return but his smokin’ hot company for an hour and a powerful painful UNPLEASURABLE-FOR-ME pounding.
This is the second time he’s come by and eaten my food. If he does it again I will be assertive and tell him that food has monetary value and give him my venmo.
I am not a whore.
Then stop demanding money for sex. That’s it. That’s the whole job, the only requirement.
Getting to the point I’m sick of people taking and giving nothing in return.
Then stop agreeing to it. You very literally say yes to staying the night in this text exchange, and then get passed passed he would ever suggest it.
Update: he visited me today and he got his orgasm and he ate $10 worth of my food. I can barely afford to feed my own self. Do you think he owes me $10 for my food he ate? He gave me nothing in return but his smokin’ hot company for an hour and a powerful painful UNPLEASURABLE-FOR-ME pounding.
This entire conversation is simply “why do people who I agree to have sex with want to have sex with me?” Your entire mindset is infuriating because it’s childish af. You are in charge of your own decisions. If you don’t like the sex, then why do you keep having it?!?! If you don’t like your decisions, stop making them and stop blaming other people.
You expect me to stop agreeing to people wanting to spend time with me and have sex with me? Isn’t that the pinnacle of the human experience to want to love & be loved? But then they end up treating me like free disposable trash and he eats my food that I paid for, and that’s how everyone is today, and that is what I’m complaining about. Love & sex shouldn’t be booty calls & using each other, it should be love. But all anyone ever does is use me, I’m 50 years old now and I’m sick of this shit. I want love. I don’t want to be alone.
Weird way to think about it. People normally just say something like “one problem though, I have to work so I’m not free that day.” Then propose a day that works for you.
Do you never want booty call requests again? Because that is a great way to make that happen, though maybe your relationship is just like that idk.
I’d hit 'em with something like, “I’d love to but work is kicking my ass lately sry bb”
But yes you’re right, if I say that to him he’ll never contact me again, but either way I have to say no because I need to work to survive, and his booty call requests always happen on weekends, and I’m never available on weekends.
Thank you for your honest take. This is a tricky one because he’s smokin’ hot & he apparently thinks I am too but of course like most people these days shows no indication of wanting a commitment or even contacting me more than once in a long while …
And also like most men he always cums and like many women, I never do, so really I’m just like some disposable treat to him, which drains my life force & joy, so really at this point he should be compensating me monetarily if he’s just going to keep treating me like an unpaid prostitute, right?? 😭
Or people need to straighten the hell out & learn how to love & respect each other so we don’t all end up feeling like trashy used commodities 😢
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And this reminds me of a guy from 2014, I would have to drive 4 hours round trip to see him and he never came to see me and it was always a strain on my gas money so one time it was such a strain I asked him if he could contribute gas money and he said no and canceled our tryst. 🫤 Fuck men! Or better yet, stop letting men fuck me.
If current guy is giving you that vibe, bail out. Dating apps are free and they have something like a 10:1 ratio for guys. No sense tying yourself to a Dingus when it’s so easy to get laid these days.
He & I are both similar in many ways, he’s worth holding on to, I’m just tired of these unpredictable inconvenient booty calls. I’m too old for this bullshit.
Both of us are opposed to using the internet for dating. We live on the beach in Los Angeles and there’s no reason to use dating apps around here. Plenty of gorgeous datable people in beach cities.
We met in the real world in a yummy way, and we stay in the real world.
Honestly if it was me I’d look at that text, laugh, and think you were awesome for being real.
From what you’ve said in the texts and in the comments though, you both sound very young (maybe late teens, maybe early 20s). Especially regarding the comment you made about how you both find each other hot, but he always finishes and you never do and that bothers you.
So if I may pull a “dad for a moment” or whatever that community is called — if not, I suppose, stop reading now — then, you should know, for young people (teens/20s), the guy finishing is practically guaranteed, but the gal finishing isn’t, because biologically it’s not that important. Sorry, but biologically the point of sex is to generate new life, so of course the guy has to finish to transmit his seed. Biologically, the gal finishing just helps move it along, but it’s not strictly necessary.
It’s also a sign of immaturity for a man to leave a woman unfinished. Knowing how both work, an older, wiser, and/or more responsible male partner will tend to his female partner’s needs and make sure she finishes first, second, and maybe third. For the young guy, he just wants to point out the hot girl (you said he thinks you’re hot) to his friends and say “I hit that.” Because for young guys, it’s enough to say “I got to finish in that.” But as guys get older, and learn women more, it becomes more proud to say “I made that woman finish twice or three times before I even got my pants off.” That level of restraint and control becomes something guys can become proud of, but it comes with age and experience.
If you think he’s hot, I can understand wanting to pursue the attraction, but I guarantee you, if he thinks you’re hot, so do a dozen other guys, or more, some of whom want to watch you squirm by finishing you 1-3 times before they get going. But whatever, some women really do just wanna get down, and finish themselves later, and that’s fine too. Journey over destination. As a guy I can’t understand it, but I’ve heard it enough, that I get it. What I’m saying is, you deserve the guy who wants to put you first. Believe that you deserve the guy who will, and you’ll find the guy who will… eventually.
And lastly, regarding the guy who said the “you’ll owe me $600 for lost wages” makes you sound like a whore? I don’t read it that way. I read it as, you’re a real person who needs wages to pay bills and you’re being funny. So if I were him, my response might look like “LOL you’re awesome, so when would be a good time for you?”
But hey, what do I know? I’ve only been married for about 20 years. ;)
you both sound very young (maybe late teens, maybe early 20s)
I’m 50. He’s 30-something.
And in your 3rd paragraph thanks for explaining the birds & the bees to me. 😂 But I think I have earned a master’s degree in that after I have birthed three children who are all grown adults now.
In your fifth paragraph, perhaps I can enlighten you that some women literally never orgasm with a man. That’s just how it is. Except one particular man got me there rather easily with his fingers & tongue one day in 2013. He was extremely studious & adept in ALL facets of life, I kid you not.
It’s not flattery. It means you are horribly immature
