My thoughts these days go to the medical professionals who, despite the pressures and stress they’re facing, are putting in the effort and time to understand our struggles, take them seriously, and try to help to the best of their ability, sometimes even beyond. All medical professionals should be like this; I’m glad there’s at least some who are.
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Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
CW: Paranoia, COVID trauma
spoiler
I’m not smart, at all. So it actually gives me real anxiety just how many people seemingly are having trouble understanding very simple things or understanding reality in a basic level. Like ignorance on an almost callous level too. It’s like everyone is doing vibe based thinking and the vibes are all fucked. Such thinking can be easily led to accept and even commit atrocities and I find that very, very scary. An example of what I mean is something that still haunts me from during the height of COVID. I remember when people were being forced to return to work again even though COVID death numbers were getting worse, and a coworker I previously thought of as a kind and decent person smiled and said to me (when inquiring about me wearing a mask to work) “Don’t worry, I don’t need a mask, it’s only weak and old people dying anyway.”
I feel like they just don’t care. You can spell something out so blatantly and they go nuh uh. It has to be deliberate ignorance.
covid
my father doesn’t wear a mask and recently caught it. i don’t think he’s even considering wearing a mask again even though he’s been complaining and grouchy about how sick he’s been. i even got bulk masks for the household a while ago and im the only one who uses them :/
“In order to centralise the disability support system and bring it closer to your study environment at your educational institution we are moving responsibility for it to your teaching faculty and the physical location of your support center away from campus and to a handicap inaccessible building that is an hour away by public transport”
The professor who spilled the beans is going to be responsible in part for overseeing my disability aid
This is completely unacceptable. Have you gotten around to writing the complaint with your (now former) counselor?
I did. I also sent it. I asked who would review the complaint now and they dont know but they think it might be the faculty!
Oh fuck no
It is just shitty news after shitty news.
realized I was exhibiting textbook symptoms of depression these past few months. Just got my SSRI dosage (prev for anxiety) upped after talking to my psychiatrist
also finally pushed myself into deleting X The Everything App off my phone
sorry umatter but I’m not eating a shit sundae just in case some of it’s fudge, it’s been realTwo good steps for your mental health then.
good luck
if I could scream, I would never stop
“You have a mouth and you wanna scream”, the collective work of most disabled people.
I wish I could feel safe around people
My extreme paranoia has made it difficult to stand still with people behind me. They could do something to hurt me, after all.
i sometimes rly dont get allistic ppl like. they will silently think ur being a dick and never tell u and then just randomly stop talking to u and this is your fault bc u were being a dick. like okay i don’t know im being a dick most of the time pls at least just be like “hey ur being a dick” so i can correct it?
I will admit I have no idea why they do it either. I think it’s probably this learned behavior of “It’s rude to say these things out loud”, but then again, isn’t the “being a dick” behavior what put these guys off in the first place? Politeness is so often valued higher than honesty, and that might be the root cause to your dilemma. I’m sorry you had to deal with this
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I think the approach “grow up, everybody farts and has GI issues” is the best one here. Sure, farts can sound funny (speaking from experience, I have GI issues too from chronic diseases), and it’s okay to laugh about it, but that doesn’t mean you can mock someone for it. I laugh at my own farts a lot, and it has helped me grow more resilient while interacting with others when I have to fart, but in general, getting insulted for body functions is fucking no-go, always. You should definitely tell people off who mock you for it.
I hope your GI tract gives you peace today, HexaSnoot, and that nobody laughs at you
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I’d suggest that if you can, explain to those who are concerned what the cause is, don’t say anything if people don’t react to it at all, but tell them off when they’re being mean. Gagging will often elicit a strong reaction from people around you, I don’t think there’s any changing that. But why anyone would be mean about that is beyond me. Then again, people can be horrible, so what do I know. I hope you find more people who accommodate you and don’t laugh at you or mock you for your disability.
My disability support person at school got a different job so I don’t have any support until March, and also I was technically assaulted at work and also I am still spiralling about that person I gave bad directions to.
Volunteering has been good though. Everyone has been nice to each other there. Doctors love giving vague references to future appointments they then don’t book and not telling people about their rights but once reminded they do their thing pretty well.
6·22 days agoThey’re changing the way you pay for public transit here. You used to have a card that you tapped on terminals, now you have either an app or you can soon™ get a different card. What’s the difference? Why do they need to get rid of the old card to make a new card??? Capitalist fucking “innovation”
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Its so much sillier. The new card is split into two kinds, a version that just makes you pay with your card the total sum at the end of the day or an “anonymous” version that works EXACTLY LIKE THE OLD ONE.
Now the differences are that you need to check out at every stop, it won’t show you the price of anything and there will only be one scanner instead of a check in and a check out scanner.
This solution was implemented to head off criticism of the removal of the old system. So they made the old system but more convoluted.
Edit: I used a term I should not have. I apologise.
What a joke. They could have just made the app and continued with the old system at the same time. Like… what was wrong with it?
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Supposedly the new system was developed in cooperation with some disability rights orgs and the DaneAge association because checking out more and not having to “fill up” the card is better for people with bad memories or something. I don’t know if that’s true. I feel like given that there was already a system where you could automatically fill it up each month, you could easily build whatever payment system they felt was more suited on top of the old one.
But they wanted to get rid of the old system, didn’t want to make anyone mad, so now we have the old system 2.0
there’s tech debt reasons not to do that, like maybe APIs aren’t available or complete enough, but they could also just be getting swindled or bribed by somebody. ought to be journalists looking into it
Great! More work to put in for an already running system. Gotta love those moments
CW: Talking about the Epstein news
spoiler
So yeah, the flood of all the Epstein news is officially starting to trigger me. I’m glad the truth is coming out and these monsters are finally being exposed, but constantly hearing about the most evil things imaginable is starting to get to me. Caught between wanting to stay informed and wanting to protect my mental health.
Spoiler
I worry that the constant exposure to these horrific crimes will desensitise people. Personality I try to avoid the explicit stuff as much as possible.
I’m afraid you may be right about this. Exposure to horrific news has a tendency to do just that.
Another 5 hours of sleep another day of being horrendously tired.
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I’m sending you mental calm and as much sleep tonight as you need
I had another bad fall yesterday, my second in about two months. Couldn’t get up for ages, luckily it was just in the house. Because of how shit the NHS is, how difficult it is to get treatment, how few and far apart and crap my physiotherapy sessions are, my disability is getting worse over time rather than improving. And the government wonder why so many people are too disabled to work! And I still can’t shake this UTI.
So I have a psychotic disorder, so I sometimes experience things that didn’t really happen. This does not make what happened any less traumatic, but it does change how people treat my experience. If someone came to me saying what I’m preparing to say, I know I would try to be as validating of their trauma and try to help them as much as I could, but for some reason I just can’t extend the same treatment to myself. So I’ll put it here and throw myself on your mercy. Even if you can’t be validating, please be kind. I’m not trying to hurt anybody.
CW: SA
When I was younger, I had a hallucination that affected all of my senses that was of a woman SAing me. I guess that’s the whole story. I used to have more frequent, vivid, and senseful(?) hallucinations than I do now, before I started taking medication. I’ve been terrified of the dark ever since, and still hear her voice in my head from time to time. I feel like I can’t move on in part because I can’t escape her and in part because I feel like its unreality invalidates every feeling I’ve had about it. I try not to invade spaces where people talk about this kind of trauma, because I do understand there is a big difference between what happened to me and what happened to them. Mine was a fabrication, an image of something; while theirs is real, and many of them have physical consequences of that. I just want somebody to tell me it’s okay to feel afraid and hurt and a little sick about it. I need to move on… somehow.
same CW
I have Dissosciative Identity Disorder so not quite the same, but a lot of us struggle with this sort of “trauma that isn’t actually real”. Though we call it intratrauma, as it is trauma that happens internally (in headspace, usually).
Generally my opinion is. Even if something isn’t “real”, if you are having a trauma response to it, then it is real according to your nervous system. If you have meaningfully changed your behaviour due to your trauma, you are experiencing real trauma symptoms. While I do agree that it’s not the same as actually being assaulted, it’s still traumatic and you deserve to acknowledge it as such. Anything else is doing the thing where you don’t consider your trauma valid cos some people have it worse and that’s no good
That makes sense, thank you.
Spoiler
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with that, especially so alone since many people don’t understand. A trauma is a trauma and the event itself doesn’t matter as much as the harm its done. 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
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Well, my period has become the heaviest period I’ve ever had. Coming so soon after the folate injections I think maybe I’m not in perimenopause after all, maybe the folate deficiency stopped the periods. I googled it and it said a folate deficiency can cause this.
it would be nice if I was able to express myself.
