• itsnicodegallo@lemm.ee
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    1 year ago

    Good thing browntiger15 explained that that was some legit fairy tale level shit right there, or I wouldn’t have known from the story.

    • theluckyone@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Good thing you pointed out browntiger15’s comment, otherwise I’d have never known that was some legit fairy tale level shit there.

    • glimse@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Every time I see that (on every Tumblr screenshot apparently) I always think that the person replying is the one who took the screenshot because they want to ride the coattails of anonymous internet fame

  • Potatos_are_not_friends@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Here me out.

    Maybe let’s not decide to marry people based on weird scenarios?

    For all we know, this cat lady doesn’t put the dishes away, rips horrible farts every few minutes, and eats cat food right out of the can.

  • Gabe Bell@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Yeah – I am not a good person.

    My first thought was “use a sniper rifle to shoot the cat. Then take the key off its cold, dead corpse”

      • Gabe Bell@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        (grin) If the story doesn’t mention it then I assume it’s not a part of the deal.

        • oatscoop@midwest.social
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          1 year ago

          At best you’re going to be stuck with someone that’s pissed you killed her cat. Even if she sticks to the deal she’s going to make your life miserable. And if she is the cat …

          If you can’t charm her: tranquilizer dart gun. Then a romantic getaway at your hidden base that’s also an active volcano. Apologize for your crude methods, but justify them. Point out how horrible those other men were, in fact how horrible humanity is as a whole. “We’re not so different, you and I”, etc.

          Wine and dine her while you explain your plan for world domination. You want the hot shapeshifter on your side – don’t screw it up.

        • ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          1 year ago

          I mean, if she is the cat, and you kill the cat and take the key in order to marry the woman, then you will be marrying the corpse of the woman you just killed. Seems like it might be a bit of a plot point that you don’t kill the woman (or do, but that’s a very different film.)

    • LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Which maybe says a lot about you because the point of the story is something that a lot of people have known for centuries: Men who know how to treat a cat and earn its affection, are more likely to have success with women, if they apply the same delicate empathetic approach.

      So, how are you doing in the woman-romance area?

    • Tavarin@lemmy.ca
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      1 year ago

      Yeah, what a way to get a woman to want to marry you, kill her pet (/her).

    • kase@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      If it’s evil, but it works… well ig it’s still evil ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

  • gmtom@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Another plot twist, she’s not a women that shifts into a cat, she’s a cat that shifts into a woman, so does typical cat stuff when she’s human.

    • otter@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      1 year ago

      Involuntary nervous grooming when she doesn’t stick the landing?

      Refuses to use the toilet and instead buries her leavings in the yard?

      Every night at exactly one hour after complete sunset, loses her gawdamned mind and ricochets around the house with a crazed faraway, unhinged look on her face?

      Sits on your keyboard while you’re trying to work?

  • Landbuffalo@feddit.uk
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    1 year ago

    In Veridian, a town known for its verdant meadows and a river that sparkled under the sun like a ribbon of diamonds, the townsfolk thrived on stories and legends as much as the harvests from their fields. Among these tales, one had recently taken root in the hearts of all—a challenge issued by the most enigmatic figure in Veridian: Lady Elara. With beauty spoken of in awed whispers, her hair was the color of the midnight sky, flowing and soft, and her eyes held the profound and mysterious depths of the sea after a storm. Her declaration was simple yet confounding: she would wed the person who could retrieve a small, ornate key from around the neck of her cat, Whisper. This was no simple task, for Whisper was as elusive as a shadow in the twilight, with a coat as silvery as moonbeams and eyes that gleamed with mischievous intelligence.

    The pursuit of Whisper became a spectacle. Suitors from across the town and even neighboring lands embarked on the quest, employing every strategy from elaborate traps to high-speed chases through the labyrinthine alleys of Veridian. But to no avail. Whisper was a creature of remarkable wit, always two paces ahead, vanishing like a whispered secret just when capture seemed imminent. The cat moved with a grace that belied an understanding far beyond what any other animal possessed. It would watch with a barely concealed amusement as yet another hopeful would-be suitor was left confounded and outwitted.

    Amidst this frenzy of fruitless endeavor stood Elias, a man whose presence was often overlooked, much like the spines of the well-worn books in his shop. He observed the chase from a distance, his thoughtful eyes seeing more than the spectacle; they saw the truth that others missed in their eagerness for victory. Elias had always believed that the world spoke to those who listened, and what he heard was the silent plea for respect and understanding from Whisper. He knew that the key was not a trophy to be won, but a trust to be earned. So he began his own quiet courtship of the cat, not with the intent to possess but to befriend. He would leave fresh cream and tender morsels of fish near his open window, and as the sun dipped below the horizon, he would play soft melodies on his lute, the notes drifting into the night like a siren’s song.

    Whisper’s curiosity was piqued by this man who did not chase but instead offered gifts with no strings attached. The cat began to venture closer, drawn by the music and the scent of kindness. Over time, Whisper would find itself inside Elias’s cozy shop, surrounded by stacks of books and the gentle scratch of the bookbinder’s quill. Elias would speak softly to the cat, sharing stories of far-off lands and adventures that danced in his imagination. These were not grand tales of heroes and battles but rather quiet stories of friendship and the magic found in everyday moments. Whisper came to find solace in Elias’s presence, a peace that had been missing amidst the relentless pursuit of others.

    One evening, as Elias recited a tale of a star that chose to live on Earth to learn about human hearts, Whisper climbed onto his lap and, with a soft purr, offered the key. It was a simple act, yet it held the weight of a profound decision. Elias accepted the key with a gentle touch, his heart understanding that this was not a victory but an exchange of trust and a promise of companionship.

    With the dawn casting a gentle glow on the cobblestone streets, Elias walked to Lady Elara’s estate, the key secured in his pocket. But as he approached, the air before him shimmered with the magic of a reality being rewritten. There stood not the lady he expected but Whisper, her feline form dissolving into that of the woman whose voice had danced in his dreams. Lady Elara, with Whisper’s emerald eyes, revealed her truth: she was both the woman and the cat, a shapeshifter who had grown weary of the masks worn by those who sought her hand. She had longed for someone who could see beyond the surface, to the soul she shared in both her forms.

    The revelation of Lady Elara’s true nature spread through Veridian like a warm breeze. The townsfolk gathered, their eyes wide with wonder, as they witnessed the union of the bookbinder and the shapeshifter. This was not the ending to the challenge they had anticipated, but it was the one that filled their hearts with joy. For in this unexpected conclusion, they found a truth worth holding onto: that love is not about the fervor of the chase but the quiet moments of connection that bloom into something enduring.

    And so, in a nook of the world where tales were the lifeblood of the people, Elias and Lady Elara—Whisper in her other form—wove their lives together, creating a story that would be told in Veridian for generations to come. A story that began with a whisper and a key, and a love that grew from the soft strumming of a lute and the sharing of whispered dreams.

  • Raxiel@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    When it started “most wanted” I thought it meant, by the law. I wondered why she’s doing this convoluted mating ritual instead of escaping for a while before the penny dropped.

  • ShaunaTheDead@kbin.social
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    1 year ago

    Reminds me of the analogy that a lot of toxic people don’t like cats, because cats don’t trust or love you unconditionally. You can’t force a cat to love you. You have to be gentle, and patient, and considerate of the cat’s feelings towards you. So hating cats is often a big red flag that you’re a gruff, impatient, and inconsiderate person.

  • Gromat
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    1 year ago

    First thing I thought about after reading “open her front door” was LPL breaking into the house. So there’s that.