Yes, it’s an interview with a gusano. Yes, his family were business owners. Here’s the peach:

“One day, my sister came home and exclaimed, ‘Fidel is better than Jesus!’ In school they had asked the kindergartners to close their eyes and pray to Jesus for ice cream. When they opened their eyes – nothing. Then they closed their eyes again and prayed to Fidel for ice cream, and … surprise! Ice cream cups on their desks! I remember my mother’s reaction: ‘Helado! Que rico!’ She totally avoided any other comment for fear of whatever she said making it back to my sister’s teacher.”

  • Weedian [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    “In Cuba, we were upper-middle-class,” Vivian said. “My grandfather was a bank vice president; my father worked for another bank and also wrote comedy sketches. We lived with extended family in a chic apartment. My sister and I had our own room; my brother had his own; we had a maid who lived in a small room behind the kitchen. She was a Spaniard and blind in one eye. I was a little scared of her.”

  • Circra [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    As any Cuba related thing comes up, we must remember that in Cuba, a secretive, oppressive government has rounded up countless people, imprisoned them without trial, subjected them to horrific torture for decades at a time and that same govt laughs in the face of the international community’s pleas to stop or even just let impartial inspectors in to ensure even a bare modicom of humanity for those poor souls left to rot.

    I’m talking about Guantanimo bay of course.

  • CheGueBeara [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    lol this sounds like one of the many rumors spread in Cuba by the literal CIA about how the commies are gonna end religion and take your kids.

  • Poison_Ivy [comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    “One day, my sister came home and exclaimed, ‘Fidel is better than Jesus!’ In school they had asked the kindergartners to close their eyes and pray to Jesus for ice cream. When they opened their eyes – nothing. Then they closed their eyes again and prayed to Fidel for ice cream, and … surprise! Ice cream cups on their desks! I remember my mother’s reaction: ‘Helado! Que rico!’ She totally avoided any other comment for fear of whatever she said making it back to my sister’s teacher.”

    I’m pretty sure this is a fake story that was repeated from defectors from the Soviet Union trying to make money off the anti-communism train.

    The good news is that this is Cracked.com and no one reads it anymore so shrug

  • Aliveelectricwire [it/its]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    What actual year was it that cracked turned to shit? I remember it feeling like an almost overnight thing. Years of being prescribed Kermit pills hasn’t made me a chud, but has made it so I can’t remember shit.

  • richietozier4 [he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    The only reason Cuba has so many doctors is that Fidel forced dissidents into medical school. A five year old who was crying too loud? Medical School. His neighbor who never shuts up about his lawn? Medical School. A raccoon he found on the side of the road? Medical School

  • RamrodBaguette [comrade/them, he/him]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    “One day, my sister came home and exclaimed, ‘Fidel is better than Jesus!’ In school they had asked the kindergartners to close their eyes and pray to Jesus for ice cream. When they opened their eyes – nothing. Then they closed their eyes again and prayed to Fidel for ice cream, and … surprise! Ice cream cups on their desks! I remember my mother’s reaction: ‘Helado! Que rico!’ She totally avoided any other comment for fear of whatever she said making it back to my sister’s teacher.”

    :dril:

  • flan [they/them]@hexbear.net
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    2 years ago

    i dont know why but i clicked on this expecting it to be an article about awesome facts about cuba, but written sarcastically.

      • ssjmarx [he/him]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        Jesus’ message is filtered to us through 2,000 years of being coopted by the Romans, British, Americans and others, but he was based in his day.

      • Civility [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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        2 years ago

        I feel that this is a misinterpretation.

        The gospels, even more so the Gospel of Luke, where (I think?) that’s from very much portray Jesus as a pacifist, even within the the context of that passage.

        The very next line from the Gospel of Luke Chapter 22 verse 36 is

        For I say to you that this which is written must still be accomplished in Me: ‘And He was numbered with the transgressors.’ For the things concerning Me have an end.” So they said, “Lord, look, here are two swords.” And He said to them, “It is enough.”

        The usual interpretation of that passage, is that Jesus had His followers buy swords so that surrender would have meaning, and not simply be because they were incapable of fighting, or to fulfill the prophecy of Isaiah that he would be treated as the head of a band of brigands.

        It was in no way a general call for Christians to arm themselves.

        When, in the same chapter of the Gospel of Luke one of his followers did draw his sword at the arrest, and cut the ear of one of the pharisees, Jesus rebuked His follower and healed the man he’d attacked.

        When Jesus’ followers saw what was going to happen, they said, “Lord, should we strike with our swords?” And one of them struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his right ear. But Jesus answered, “No more of this!” And he touched the man’s ear and healed him

        –Gospel of Luke Chapter 22 Verse 49.

        • poppy_apocalypse [he/him, any]@hexbear.net
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          2 years ago

          You should change your sn to context :hasan-smash: ha ha, jk. I don’t really know much about the gospels, I just thought it was some cold-blooded shit to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass.