Just came back from my holiday to Basque country, where I spent almost three weeks. I decided to take a break from politics (as far as possible in Basque country lol). To make this easier, my phone randomly decided to die a few days in, so I lost all connection to the world.
I wanted to use the holiday to find myself again. I was dealing with anxiety for the past two-three months, overly worrying about money and the future even though it may not have been needed to do so.
I did some hikes on the rocky beaches and through the mountains for a few days. I spent days on the beach relaxing and swimming. My gf gave me a book that, according to her, was meant to take me away from politics. She gave me ‘Fall of Giants’ by Ken Follett. For those who have not read it, it’s a book about the labour struggle in England, the (build up to) the first world war, fall of aristocracy and the Russian Revolution. It even features Lenin lmao. It’s mostly fiction, so she probably thought it would be nice for me to read fiction. I am enjoying the 1000 page book so far, so she was right.
While looking for balance in life, I had my great breakthrough on a rock. I was swimming at the beach when I suddenly felt the urge to swim past the cliff seperating the bay from the sea. There was nothing but cliffs behind it and I decided to go back when I suddenly saw a small rock protruding from the sea. I swam to it and climbed it, facing my back to the land. I saw nothing but ocean in front of me and I sat there for over an hour, staring into the distance. I saw water, incredible clouds, a far away thunderstorm and a boat in the distance, slowly passing by. I sat there thinking how this view will be the same in a hundred years and that I’ll be long gone by then. And so will be the people back at the beach, together with all our worries. It made me realize again how little time I have in this place and how much time I spent worrying about unimportant things. When the hour was gone, I felt like a weight was gone from inside my head and my shoulders, and I swam back to the beach.
I enjoyed my stay in Basque country. I tasted the local cuisine, spent some time at the beaches, the bars and in between the Basque people. I enjoyed the countless political flags and (communist) statements made everywhere. I enjoyed the easy and laid back way of living and I feel refreshed. I’m ready to continue the communist fight over here now, and I have a lot of things coming up.
And, importantly, I will start my new job at the Union next monday.
How is life going? Have I missed important things while I was gone?
Wb Dankzedong, I was wondering where you had been
I’m at a weird place in my life. I’m about to fail the 2 summer classes I’m taking, I was just diagnosed with ADHD-PI, my plans to get an apartment with one of my best friends fell through (at least I still have this one to live in!), but I don’t feel as despondent as I think I normally would. Idk sorry if I’m oversharing I’ve been drinking
Sounds like you’ve hit a rough patch, but good on you for not letting it all get to your head. Do you plan to do something with your diagnose?
thank you! I’ve been on adderall for a week and it’s seemed to help some, I might need to up the dosage a little. my counselor wants me to find someone specialized in adhd but I haven’t done that
That’s good to hear. Therapy/guidance can be a good option to help you with problems you (may) face. My brother has pretty severe ADD and he still is thankful for the help he got with counseling. It helped him getting through trade school and landing a pretty okay job.
Good luck on passing the classes. I hope you can still make it or at least that you’ll be able to retake them if possible.
Someone published a genzedong report while you were gone lol https://lemmygrad.ml/post/988070
Life kind of sucks right now and idk why. I’m in a weird state of depression right now. Been a depression enjoyer for most of my life but this funk is new. It feels like I’m just going through the motions.
I turned 40 this year and last year I finally got a programming job after graduating with a degree 7 years ago. How’s that for the job market, huh? But now I’m starting to think I just don’t have the brain for it. Each time I grasp something I think I’m good and then 5 minutes later I get stuck and feel like a total idiot again.
I keep thinking if I could do it again I would have gone for a degree in PolySci but even if I got into politics like I sort of want to(and no real idea even where to start) it’s the fucking US so at best I’d have to play the part of reformist and sound to the public like it was “left of center” to even get anywhere. And at worst I’d have to cuck up to the Dems and not get anywhere with policy, so it just seems pointless. Watching the first half of Requiem for an American Dream from Chomsky doesn’t help this mood lol.
I was getting ready to work on the early stuff to try and get a CPUSA chapter here but after the drama from this weekend I’m hesitant. We don’t have any real org here aside from DSA and they have gone radio silent. The big Chicago conference is this weekend and I’m gonna try and tune in to that and see what it’s all about. Donno where to go from there tho. We have a handful of leftist orgs but we are fragmented. It makes me feel like a curmudgeon but I feel like we need to figure out how to unify the left if we want any change but that keeps going back to reformist thought.
Ok back to work…
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How are you the exact opposite of me rofl! Tbf I do actually work a bit with the local Dems and though some of them mean well, holy shit are they misguided and brainwashed.
If you got a knack for solving problems and making magic by typing words on a screen I’d say definitely give programming a try. I’m just going through a low point with it right now but to be perfectly fair, this thing I’m currently working on is using code to generate other code and it gets a bit weird.
this thing I’m currently working on is using code to generate other code and it gets a bit weird.
Making a compiler?
It’s from the crafting interpreters book. It’s the guy’s made up language “Lox” and the interpreter is written in java. The wierd part is that GeneratorAst class because it’s a metaprogramming bit that generates the interpreter file. It’s not needed but he added it to the course just to use it I think. I could just add each of the classes to the interpreter file as needed I think.
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I almost pulled the trigger on getting my CDL actually. It was right at the beginning of the pandemic and we had a toddler at the time and was planning for number 2 and decided I didn’t wanna put that much on my wife if I was gonna be gone for 5-7 days at a time. I grew up with my dad driving truck and get it. If you can swing it I’d say consider it though. I’m an introvert and still love the idea of just driving across the country. Java isn’t thaaaaat bad but I wish I would have stuck with python maybe.
And yeah I definitely see a lot of “Blue no matter who” rhetoric back when Beto was campaigning last time and even now. Local Dems keep asking me how I think they can get more young people involved since I’m the only one involved under 60. I keep telling them to talk with “us young people” and actually move to the left. They keep ignoring me. It’s getting frustrating. I named dropped a TikTok leftist that is trying to run against Cruz and they ignored me on that as well because another guy is ex-mlitary and played football so he’s a good candidate apparently. But to be fair the guy I named is basically a comrade so he doesn’t stand a chance.
Keep struggling my friend, i assure you that most people around you have no idea what theyre doing either but they pretend they do. You will keep getting better and better at it, selfless people dont realize how skilled they are most of the time.
Thanks comrade. 🖤❤️ I don’t think I was expecting a thoughtful comment since it was just me venting but it’s always nice when someone sends a bit of love your way, ya know? Appreciate it.
I feel like I’ve been in a stasis the past few years. I don’t leave the house much anymore and I haven’t been doing much to improve myself. I’m lucky that I get along quite well with my parents that I can live with them without much tension and that I work a high paying WFH job with minimal surveillance, yet despite all this privilege the rot is only slowed, not stopped. There are contradictions within me that I have yet to grasp.
Still, some things are changing. I’ve been getting involved with a local org more the past month or so. Mostly zoom meetings and text banking, but I did help canvass for support of the teamsters last weekend. I’m also working on getting a second opinion from a shrink regarding a diagnosis. Finally, I converted an old gaming PC into a server that I plan on using as a kind of data bunker.
i am in a similar place too, only difference is that i work as a farmer. My social life ended when i finished my uni degree lol, i fulfill my social needs when interacting on this sub, only times i go outside is when i need to buy some farm supply/grocery or going to the gym.
And honestly, it’s prob the happiest i’ve been since i was a child lol.
I also recently came back from a holiday (on Friday). I was staying at my German friends’ place near Frankfurt for ten days, and I visited a lot of places in the region using a public transport pass (so many pretty places it’s hard to pick a favourite, but I was very pleasantly surprised by Marburg). I walked quite a lot compared to usual, especially since a lot of cities there have citadels atop of hills, and they are generally very walkable. All in all it was a very nice trip.
This week I’ve been jamming with a drummer friend (we’re in a band, I’m the bassist) every day so far (in fact I’m about to again right now). Many jazz standards were massacred (in a good way) so far! (and so were my fingers).
I’ve also lurked a bit on Lemmy again since late June, though I didn’t comment until now so I think this is my first comment in about two years.
That must be a record for an image load-time. Two years and it’s still going!
Currently in a comfortable rut. Job is not moving anywhere for better or worse. I am sure as fuck not getting a promotion or raise for a while (I’m union so I get a guaranteed raise but not yet :( darn ) and definitely not getting fired as I’m the most useful one in my department. My education won’t start for another month or 2. I’m having as much fun as I can living literally paycheck to paycheck. I am definitely not eating healthy bc McDonald’s app deals are cheaper than healthy food. Ik ik it’s garbage but it’s affordable. Sorta roughing it rn but at least I have a positive attitude. I find things to entertain myself, theory to read, YT history vids to check. But damn it sucks in more than a few ways. And let me just say congrats on getting out and experiencing nature, it’s good for you. Great writing style too, creates quite an image.
Welcome back
Thank you Oppo
I’ve come to recieve some hard to process information. Very postivie mind you, but very hard to grasp information. I’ll see what will come of this in the future…
Also congratulations on a well spent vacation!
Hey! I knew there was a face missing here. Good to see you’re back and happy to hear you had a good time.
:)
Everything has been clicking for me lately.
I’ve started enjoying my work (farming) and knowing that i can keep doing this for the rest of my life took a huge weight off my shoulders. Still i have to deal with some nuisances regarding that but i will learn how to deal with it.
My social life has been on stasis (and decline) for years and i’ve kinda come to terms with it, not completely but im in a much better spot than i was.
Been kinda inconsistent at the gym because i’ve been dealing with minor injuries frequently, also been reading a lot lately and my comprehension has improved.
What do you do as a job when it comes to farming? (if you don’t mind answering)
We grow grain crops (corn, chickpeas, beans, sorghum), the work of a farmer mainly involves working the fields with different agricultural equipment (plows, discs, planters, sprayers, combines, etc…), maintenance/fixing machinery, scouting the fields for diseases/plagues and combating said diseases with chemicals, some financial work here and there, etc…
It all boils down to producing commodities to sell just like any other business. My wet dream would be to
Ah interesting. So you do general farming things on it.
Hey good to see another farmer! My farm is a lot less mechanized than yours and we rely a lot on outside jobs but it’s good to hear you’re making it work comrade.
we do too, we rely on 3rd party for spraying some products (planes and drones), we rent trailer/trucks for harvest, just this year we managed to fix an used combine we bought we’ve been renting combines each year before this. Still have a lot of room to improve. we do furrow irrigation with polypipes row by row so it’s as manual as it gets lol.
I live in America and the struggle with obesity is real. Trying to exercise and lose pounds.
Just trying to help - the proven best way to lose weight is via diet shift, not exercise, although exercise confers basically every health benefit besides weight loss. Try a whole food, plant-based diet. Think bean \ vegetable soups, hot whole grain cereals, leafy green salads, etc. Best of luck
My life is on paper really great. I’m doing well in most domains of my life. I am employed at a notoriously anti-union firm though, and my social circles are running extremely bourgeois recently. Maybe I’m just a champagne socialist. It’s weird knowing people who embody a banal evil through their capitalist ambitions. I am very much in the belly of the capitalist beast. I have become more radical over time realizing that the open fields of a career ahead of me have walls much closer in than I thought. I can’t do what I want. I can only do what pleases investors, or face a life of precarity, poverty, destitution, etc. So I guess irl my thoughts are converging on living well and “playing the game” while privately advocating for socialism and communism.
Sometimes you’re just stuck like that. It’s important that you very much not support the line of thought that’s the norm over there. Keep studying theory and keep looking around for movements to join. You can’t always be in the right place unfortunately, and having a job to provide for yourself is sometimes the main priority.
Nice to see you. When you went quiet I thought you’d left your phone at home and thought, good choice! Pity that your phone died, but it sounds like you got a lot out of the trip without the distraction.
Sounds like an idyllic adventure! You like to hike and cycle at home, right? Is there a way you could find somewhere peaceful with a good view to visit more often? Might be good to remind yourself of your revelation(s)? I hope your anxiety stays low/doesn’t come back.
I’m a fan of Ken Follett. I’ve not read everything, or the book that you read. I enjoyed The Evening and the Morning and The Pillars of the Earth (not these past three weeks – that would be a feat!). What’s next for you, literature-wise? Non-fiction or fiction? Have you caught the historical fiction bug? There seem to be quite a few Basque-related books around: https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/basque and https://euskalkazeta.com/top-books-on-the-basques/ (uh oh, I’m getting wanderlust now).
Life is going well. I’ve started to fix my diet. It wasn’t bad before, except the odd takeaway pizza. No meat, little fried food. But it wasn’t very varied. I’ve started to batch cook ‘soup’ and rice. Then I can have a bowl with the rice mixed in for lunch. And if I have more time in the evening, I’ll use it as a base to make a sauce. Adding some garlic, peppers, onions, lentils, and curry powder for a quick curry, for example. So I’m getting a minimum of 4–8 vegetables in my system every day. I always find it surprising how quickly proper food uplifts your mood and energy.
Yeah unfortunately some oily hummus leaked in my bag and found its way into my charging port. It seems fixed now.
Antwerp is a very heavily urbanized area so views may not be that close. But I can probably find some quiet places nearby. Thanks for the tip, hadn’t thought about it.
Since Fall of Giants is the first in a trilogy, I might start reading the other two soon. They’re both 1000 page pieces of thickness though, so I might need some break in between lol. I’ll keep reading theory but I’ll also read more fiction as I find it helps me stay more leveled. Reading books about Basque country may be nice, considering my gf and I are tempted by the idea of (eventually) moving there.
Good on you for finding an improvement in your diet. We all know it, but having a healthy, balanced and varied diet is crucial. As they say, your gut is your second brain, and we don’t want to stuff our brain with toxic stuff all the time either.
gotta watch out for that hummus
I just got out of a laze of a few weeks. I wasn’t really able to do much besides very barebones party work. Well now that I think about it…I think partywork was really the only reason I was even leaving my house for a bit. I’m back to the outside world, I replied to a bunch of my penpals finally, and I’m semi back to dating after like a 2 year hiatus. I’m talking to someone whose on a break with their partner, but they did talk through it with eachother, so I don’t feel as bad about it. I’m probably leaning towards something casual, but who knows. I’ll probably go for a smoke then hit the gym tonight with a friend.
I’m back to school next month, and with that, I can get back to my free therapy. I’m excited for that more than anything.
It seems to me that you are at some sort of turning point, which sounds good. I hope you can keep the good developments going for yourself.
What will you be studying in school?
I hope so as well, thank you.
I’m studying to become a mycologist! I haven’t studied anything mycology specific just yet, but I’ll be one semester closer after this one :'). Good luck with your union job!
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