• jol
      39·
      10 months ago

      Apple Taste Pro is a white sausage-shaped devices that you shove down your throught and controls your taste buds, olfactory system and controls breathing.

        • jol
          5·
          10 months ago

          This would actually probably maybe work

          • Zagorath@aussie.zone
            3·
            10 months ago

            Even better I reckon would be to use bone conduction technology like those sports headphones, but attach it up to your sternum.

          • Psythik@lemmy.world
            3·
            10 months ago

            Personally I wish someone would make headphones that comes with a wireless “subwoofer” that attaches somewhere to your body and vibrates to the bass. The closest I found to this was the Skullcandy Crusher series. But the motors are in the headphones, which makes them bulky. Still, hardest hitting bass I’ve ever heard in a pair of headphones. It is unfortunate that a more prestigious brand won’t take the concept and evolve it.

              • Psythik@lemmy.world
                1·
                9 months ago

                Don’t get me wrong, they’re amazing for bass-heavy music; they’re just not so great if you care about things like imaging, sound staging, a neutral frequency response, and low latency Bluetooth, none of which the crushers are particularly good at. The Crusher Evo has such bad staging, for example, that they almost sound mono. Makes them completely worthless for movies and games (which is a shame, cause movies and games could always benefit from more bass).

      • Rikudou_Sage@lemmings.world
        151·
        10 months ago

        And it will have whopping 5 apps at launch and 5 more during its lifetime (maybe). You also most likely need a mortgage to buy one.

          • jol
            7·
            10 months ago

            In 2010 we brought you FaceTime. Today, we are proud to announce FleshTime, the new best way to communicate with your loved ones.

              • jol
                2·
                10 months ago

                Apple always announces products like they are the only ones, except maybe with the first iphone. “this is the best iPhone yet” not the “best smartphone in the market”.

                Also they wouldn’t call it sex toys, they would call it a whole new revolutionary class of communication devices.

      • Artyom@lemm.ee
        2·
        10 months ago

        It will project a super low-rez image of your tongue for others to see

  • JRaccoonEnglish
    651·
    10 months ago

    I remember reading an article about how we’re already able to simulate basic tastes, like sweetness and sourness, digitally. So just you wait, we might have lickable HTML elements in the future

  • saltesc@lemmy.world
    38·
    10 months ago

    I tried to tell the computer to bugger a dataset the other day because apparently I can’t type Table.Buffer()

    • marcos@lemmy.world
      16·
      10 months ago

      Environemnt is a very common word for me to type. Good thing everybody always shortens it to env.

        • Passerby6497@lemmy.worldEnglish
          3·
          10 months ago

          Just because I can’t type it correctly doesn’t mean I don’t know how to spell it. My fingers just choose to spell it alternatively because its funny. Especially the 4th time I spell it wrong the same way in the row.

      • SatyrSack@lemmy.one
        4·
        10 months ago

        The amount of times I used to quickly type dnf udpate was ridiculous. Now, I know I can just dnf up.

      • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
        82·
        10 months ago

        I might but having had a go at it…yeah I’m starting to think that all that joking about how hard finding “the button” is some grand conspiracy of weaponized incompetence, I’ve had a couple partners now to confirm that finding “the button” is damn easy for someone who actually gives a shit about being a reciprocal partner.

        You know you’re doing it right when her thighs are wrapped around your head like she’s trying to use your melon for a Gallagher bit. Hands clutched in your hair is even better, and if she’s giving you a tempo you’ve got her so deep in the mood that all that’s left is to follow the rhythm her body’s setting for you.

        It’s so easy that her body will literally be telling you how to do it even better by the end if you put in the starting effort.

          • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin@lemm.ee
            3·
            10 months ago

            I think an explainer is important when some old misinformed boomer humor trope is being bandied about, just happened that this one was about sex schtuff

            I’d have given a similar response to references to wife bad no fault divorce is satan jokes

  • xmunk@sh.itjust.works
    12·
    10 months ago

    My company doesn’t appreciate my taste in programming flavors. I hoped to whet their appetite with a lunch and learn but when I tried to demo the functionality on my bosses computer I ended up being escorted from the building.