Yeah. As a kid and in my early teenage years there was so much I was planning for. Getting a job that I liked. Living on my own. Getting married. Going to see new place. Meet new people. Do new things.
Now I’m 31 and I wake up every day disappointed that I woke up at all. I’m disabled and I don’t have a job at all, yet I have to dumpster dive just to get groceries. I haven’t ever lived on my own because I can’t afford to rent something on my own and I never will be able to. Can’t travel anywhere because I can’t afford that either. Have no hopes. Have no dreams. Watching the earth boil out from under me. Watching entire animals go extinct while corporations and governments keep letting shit go with no change whatsoever. Watching people hate me for being gay and actively voting/cheering on people who want me exterminated.
I used to think that I just never had the ability to be happy. That it was sort of left out. Now I just wonder if maybe it’s just that there’s nothing worth being happy about.
Idk why. But I can really relate to you about waking up everyday without any hopes and dreams.
You open to some unsolicited advice? Nbd if not, it’s okay.
Advice is only useful if the person is willing to implement it in the hope things will get better.
I am fresh out of hope and have completely given up. I’m waiting to die. Advice would fall on deaf ears.
All good, hoping things get better for you.
Oh they won’t but thanks.
That sounds pretty rough and i’m sorry for your struggles…
I hope things get better with time for you. Even if not monetarily or physically, at least mentally. You are a self-aware individual which makes you smarter than many and you seem to work hard, even if to just survive. All you can do is wake up, find something you enjoy in the day, be nice to others, and, most importantly (also v hard for me), be kind to YOURSELF.
Sadly we can’t control what others are doing or saying, but you can control the narrative you give yourself. Shut them out if they oppose you for who you are. Keep being yourself. Take the world one day at a time and find inner peace. The rest is fruitless in the end.
Cmon man, what the fuck man.
I didn’t a reality check right now, fuuuuuck
Capitalism tells us that we must dream of careers
Kids have always dreamed of vocations. Kids feel that calling sense in a much purer way than adults can. They want to sing so they want to be a star. They want to make new things, invent stuff, so they want to be scientists. They want to be cool as shit so they want to become astronauts.
Capitalism fucks that up in so many ways. I’m not even talking about the fact that western kids today want to be streamers. Nowadays (as in as has been for decades) there’s no calling, even kids realise that being the lowest grunt in whatever organisation isn’t much of a goal so they also dream of “advancement”, except that means doing less of the thing you want to do to manage. And if you advance enough, you get to not do that thing you went in to do.
Worst of it all, this is just what we face as kids. To say nothing on the alienation we suffer from, to feel like an animal doing human actions and human fulfilling animal needs. Folks got so used to the term wage slavery that they don’t even comprehend how inhuman labour under capitalism is.
Y’all still feel like animals?
I feel more machine than the robots I work with. A labor unit to be used and discarded when I break down.
I get you, really, but I don’t think Marx could’ve given robots as an example. I was paraphrasing from Estranged Labour.
Besides, robotics aren’t always treated with the carelessness we are. The capitalists own the robots as they were machinery, and you know how scum are when it comes to their stuff being damaged.
As someone that works with machinery on a daily basis I think they treat us about the same. The machines I work with are barely functional pieces of shit that are only kept going by quick fixes and half measures, just gotta last long enough until it’s the next shift’s problem! Capitalists treat us the same because the cost to operate and replace us is the same - if the machinery is more expensive they don’t buy it, they just scream at us to work harder.
While this is partially true, there’s been a lot of study on what makes us feel like we have purpose, and how our sense of purpose drives our well-being. They’ve even done studies on the elderly and found that those who retire and just “relax” tend to die earlier than those who continue to “work” in some way (note that “work” is broad in this usage. Volunteering, or having a structure and activities where you feel like you’re filling a need is included).
A carreer that you are able to partake in with severely reduced hours can easily be just that.
Someone edit walter white into the last cloud
waltuh will always be there for you :)
Want to be… The one who knocks?
Tight tight tight tight tight.
Dammit i didn’t needed a reality check right now. Shit. Fuck.
Jeeeesus
Man imagine downvoting this
Only unhappy vibes up in here, being happy is Beta /s
I mean just… fuck man
I don’t dream of labor.
“You better!” – every CEO
I always think of all the fun work I’d like to do but can’t because it’s not economically feasible. Research, game dev, learning to compose. At least I take a lot of solace in thinking that eventually other people will have the right to do what they think is best without having to worry about paying rent or whether they’ll get health insurance through it, and that I’m helping on that front in some way.
Worst thing we can do is spend time with people who don’t actually love us. 34 and I’m ripping my life up by the roots because I let myself be taken by others who I made happy but never cared enough to pay attention to me. Everyone is mad at me for making the decision to end my long term relationship. What no one understands is how unhappy I was trying to force myself to be happy.
I’ve said this to other people before when trying to counsel them regarding difficult decisions.
Does what you are doing ultimately make you happy? Strip away everything else, every other factor. Especially those that involve others. Narrow it down to this one thing: the pursuit of your own happiness. At the end of the day, your own happiness is very literally the only point to anything. We get one life to live. If you’re doing something that isn’t pushing you to be happier, what are you doing? Why do it? What purpose is served by being unhappy?
Certainly not every individual action will make us happy, but I think it makes sense to really assess whether our choices and paths are building towards something that will increase our happiness, and strongly consider dropping things that do not.
Of course the catch is that this simple advice is quite difficult to enact. Assessing whether something contributes to your happiness requires a level of self understanding and introspection that people may not be comfortable with. But that journey is part of the process, IMO.
I feel you. Been realizing I’ve been too boundaryless, been too open, and I let people in who did nothing but take advantage of my kindness and love and gave nothing back. They turned me into someone I’m not, told me who I am, told me what to think.
I was told I alienated these people, that I was the problem. What am I thinking anymore? Good. Glad I alienated the people who could only love me if I acted, looked and thought a certain type a way. I am figuring out who I am now and I like the guy I’m getting to know. Hope you’re getting the chance to get to know yourself better now that you’re single and you’re liking who you’re meeting, too.
Can’t let others control us, our thoughts, our beings. I speak only from my experiences, but sometimes it can be easy to find ourselves carrying the burdens of others’ expectations and demands while barely even realizing we’re being crushed.
As a kid I was miserable but at least now I’m in control over what makes me miserable.
To a certain extent, yeah. You can control the things you individually do on a micro level.
The killer is that as you get older you realize how little those micro level actions matter on the macro scale. And I think you feel somehow even more powerless to enact change as an adult than as a kid because you can finally perceive the larger picture.
You can control what makes you miserable???
Try suppressing your emotions (thats good to do sometimes) and focus on your duty. Be a good husband, worker, and friend. If its beyond your control, then don’t worry about it. Its not your problem if the crane carrying you while you do construction work is operated by a drunk.
this meme from my earlier post is how I feel if you are miserable. https://lemmygrad.ml/post/713812
What makes me miserable are the things that aren’t beyond all control, they’re just beyond my control.
Though instead of just feeling sad, I get angry. Wakes me the fuck up!
Bruh I didn’t need to open this first thing in the morning
Relating hard
I was told that once I became an adult I’d have the freedom to do whatever I wanted. Looks like that wasn’t true. My mom went about it in a less than comforting way for a child but I’m grateful she was realistic with me at the time; “you can be an artist or musician as a hobby but you need a stable career to survive.” I’m taking some liberties here as it was over a decade ago but she was right. She nurtured my creative side but always pushed me away from pursuing it career wise as she knew I’d suffer way more as an artist than as a doctor or coroner. Now I’m 24 back1 in university trying to complete my undergrad expeditiously while surviving on AISH and trying to nurture my inner child.
- I dropped out my fist time at 18 going on 19 because the university I chose low key sucked for undergrads (stupidly large classes and campus, plus it was way more demanding in breadth requirements and tuition), but my current one is better. After getting my bachelors I’ll have to go back to the previous university to get my PhD. Im just trying to get through school as quickly and efficiently as possible.
