We have similar views on most of the important things (as defined by us). Our interests are really different though, and that’s fine with me.
Same here. Our core values are the same, but our personal interests are very different. Our personalities are quite different too, but they’re complimentary. What one of us needs, the other can provide. We’re both better together.
Thirded, we agree on the goals but not on how to accomplish them, which is fine. We’re both pulling in the same direction just in different ways/paths.
I think that’s an ideal setup. I have learned a lot from my partner because we are so different in what we like. :)
This is like us too. The important stuff aligns, but we have very different general interests and hobbies.
Core values are basically the same. Politically fairly similar, but not the same everywhere. We match in some hobbies, but others are oil and water. We respect each other, and support each other’s interests.
Over the 42 years we have been together we must have disagreed about pretty much everything that there is to talk about apart from one thing. Wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. It’s the differences that keep it interesting. There is balance and understanding in everything that we have ever talked over ( or argued, shouted and stomped) and we have never gone to bed angry. Over the time though we have kind of formed into a one that people just hate as we are united and supportive of each others different views and just get on. We are individuals first though and always will be happy with our own company. Oh that just sounds sickly but it’s the way it is!
Damn that looks exhausting.
Not really we kind of both believe that you have to work hard on a relationship we have been friends since 1981 married for 39 years have 3 children 5 grandchildren and can only really remember the good times. I can’t remember a time when I didn’t think that it wasn’t worth the effort.
Work hard when there’s problems, sure.
Work hard as a default mode? As a sport? No, thank you.
I’ve been with the same and only person for 12 years, I don’t really think either of us “work hard” at our relationship, bad times yeah, but the vast majority of the time everything’s good and natural .
What’s the one thing you’ve never disagreed on?
Hammer House of Horror Movies, Only thing we both loved at the time and was the reason for us getting together!!
That’s such an off-the-wall random thing to be the basis of your relationship - and I’m totally here for it!
This probably isn’t the exact answer you are looking for, but it’s related, and I find it interesting nonetheless.
When my wife and I first started dating 12 years ago, we both had very different views than we have now. We both came from conservative families and we didn’t have the life experiences yet than made us realize that we didn’t blindly agree with our parents. Over time, as we both achieved higher education and gained more life experiences, we slowly started challenging each other in our beliefs. For example, I grew up in a very religious house and was always taught that being gay is a sin. But many (most) of our close friends were gay, and they were all such amazing people. Slowly we started challenging the idea that being gay would condemn someone to eternal suffering. Why would god make someone gay just to condemn them to hell? Another example is that we grew up always being told that if all the laws benefit the businesses, they create jobs and it helps the economy and the poor as well. Eventually we ran through a thought experiment together of where the excess money goes. Sure, some of it gets re-invested in expanding the business and creating jobs. But it seems that the majority of it goes to the people who are already rich, and to the politicians that make the laws that benefit the businesses.
It took years of us challenging each other on our beliefs to get to where we are now. We would bring up a topic and parrot the talking points our parents would say, and the other would give counter points. And we would always respect each other’s views. It would never get personal. And we would always keep an open mind. We wanted to learn when having these debates, not win. And I think that was key. If you engage in a debate with someone who only cares about winning, there is no winner. They will be so stubborn that they won’t even listen to what you have to say.
my wife and I share very similar societal/political views but opinions on ourselves and our life outlook vary greatly. We tend to see eye to eye on how to chart our family lifestyle, but sometimes she is extremely cautious and I am less risk averse.
Very similar views. Where we differ is a matter of nuance, not fundamentals.
We have a similar view in many things (politics, life, and so on) but with very different interests and ways to do daily things
We are basically the exact same person. It’s like dating a hawter version of myself, and I find myself plenty hawt. We do everything together. Two computers set up side-by-side so we can play stuff together, even solo games. They like some YouTube channels I don’t care about and I like a couple games they don’t. We like all of the same music (well, save for one band.)
It’s the best.
Soon 10 years together, and we are quite different people. Had periods of anger and frustration but also periods of happiness and closeness.
Now we have learned to avoid doing things that annoy eachother, but it took time since some of those things were really things we had a hard time compromising on. I think as I got older, I gave up more and more strong opinions about things and realized it doesn’t have to be my way to be correct. :)
The more control i gave up, the better the relationship became.
On politics, religion, etc. we have very similar views. About the only place we have wildly differing views is our actual, physical viewpoints: mine is about 18 inches (close to half a meter) higher than hers (standing) so she can see into shelves that I would have to think to bend down for, and I can see and reach shelves that she can’t unaided.
Yup. Sums up our relationship nicely too.
Politically, we agree on 90%+ on things. Like - it would be really odd if I married a woman who didn’t believe my friends deserved basic human rights. 
But I will say we handle conflict very differently, loss very differently, anxiety very differently, fear very differently. We’re different people.  The important thing is that were able to communicate with one another. We’re supposed to understand each other’s motives, behaviors, needs. And try to anticipate them.
Ideally, we’re strong in areas the other is weak in.
As far as interests, there’s a lot of crossover. But I have specific hobbies (music production mostly), that she has no interest in. She’ll give feedback from time to time. And also, she plays piano. But we don’t play together.
I like goofy nerd shit, she likes The Bachelor. I like some gaming, she thinks it’s lame and reads in her free time. I mean, no great relationship has ever thrived based on a shared love of Star Trek or something.
So most importantly, we match well in two areas. One, we can make each other laugh. Two, we like the same foods and are adventurous eaters.
For what it’s worth, half of every live-in relationship is trying to decide what to eat next.
Eh, mostly the same, and exactly the same on the big issues.
But we’re still very different people overall
My boyfriend and I are both left leaning though I’m a bit more progressive than he is.
My partner is right leaning and I am left leaning. It works well for us because we never fight over who gets the good spot on the couch - my good spot is with the arm rest to the left of me and his is the arm rest to the right of him. It’s probably not good for our backs to lean the same way all the time though.
We definitely share basic values including political views, but there’s also many things where our opinions differ. For example, we both strongly believe in supporting human rights for everyone, but we have different views on local planning reforms or diets. Some hobbies but not all hobbies and interests are shared, we listen to different music, etc. Overall, I really like it this way - we’re different enough so I can always learn something new from her, but not so different we’d have arguments about basic values.
My wife and I are the same way. I don’t understand her taste in music and she doesn’t understand mine. I like different types of movies and TV, so we compromise. But nearly all of the important things like political views, childrearing, social views, and life goals match.
Oddly enough, we differ in religious views, but she’s only lightly Methodist and I’m atheist, so it’s not a crazy untenable difference.
My partner leans a little more centre from left than me because of her father, but our religious views are fairly aligned. She is a bit more laissez-faire about religion whereas I am more easily irritated by it.
Edit: Someone disapproves of my personal answer to this question…?
