Sam Bankman-Fried wants only six years for his "victimless" crime
www.citationneeded.news
Sam Bankman-Fried maintains that his crimes were victimless and resulted in zero losses, and therefore warrant only six years of imprisonment. Prosecutors argue that 40–50 years are justified.

For thursday’s sentencing the us government indicated they would be happy with a 40-50 prison sentence, and in the list of reasons they cite there’s this gem:

  1. Bankman-Fried’s effective altruism and own statements about risk suggest he would be likely to commit another fraud if he determined it had high enough “expected value”. They point to Caroline Ellison’s testimony in which she said that Bankman-Fried had expressed to her that he would “be happy to flip a coin, if it came up tails and the world was destroyed, as long as if it came up heads the world would be like more than twice as good”. They also point to Bankman-Fried’s “own ‘calculations’” described in his sentencing memo, in which he says his life now has negative expected value. “Such a calculus will inevitably lead him to trying again,” they write.

Turns out making it a point of pride that you have the morality of an anime villain does not endear you to prosecutors, who knew.

Bonus: SBF’s lawyers’ list of assertions for asking for a shorter sentence includes this hilarious bit reasoning:

They argue that Bankman-Fried would not reoffend, for reasons including that “he would sooner suffer than bring disrepute to any philanthropic movement.”

  • sinedpick@awful.systemsEnglish
    40·
    8 months ago

    Holy FUCKING shit this cannot be real. No. He could not have written this.

    sbf plans for post-ftx

    My estimation of SBF as a wretch just fuckin plummeted.

    • Soyweiser@awful.systemsEnglish
      26·
      8 months ago

      ‘Come out against the woke agenda’

      I’m reminded of the person on twitter who went ‘Wonder when his sex crimes come out’ after Russell Brand rebranded as a conspiracy rightwinger. Note: This tweet was made before his sex crimes came out.

    • mountainriver@awful.systems
      English
      20·
      8 months ago

      Notably missing: grabbing a couple of millions and run of to a non extradition country.

      He is so sure he can get out on top that running away doesn’t even hit his brainstorm top 19 list. He doesn’t write the list on paper and burn it later, because for it to backfire he would need to fail.

      Insane confidence man.

      • Buddahriffic@lemmy.worldEnglish
        7·
        8 months ago

        Might have been trying to avoid creating a situation where his lawyers are legally obligated to go against him, which I believe they would be if they knew he was planning on running. Though I could be wrong.

    • self@awful.systemsMEnglish
      14·
      8 months ago

      ah, it’s always fun when the quiet part out loud CONFIDENTIAL.docx leaks. this sub-mediocre rich little jackass really did convince himself all he needed to do was control the narrative and flood Twitter with nonsense and he’d come out of this an unscathed alt-right grifter. what’s fucking amazing is that he still tried a bunch of these tactics (specifically #15 and a lot of the ones throwing shade on the bankruptcy team) even though the prosecution had this document the entire time

      • David Gerard@awful.systemsMEnglish
        12·
        8 months ago

        the sentencing is in five and a half hours and i can’t wait for SBF to try to get up and just explain one more time

        • self@awful.systemsMEnglish
          16·
          8 months ago

          if my real-life friends were cooler, I’d have already arranged a watch party, drinking game, and post-sentencing celebratory cocktails

          fuck it, we’re doing cocktails

          The SBF

          • fill a highball glass to 2/3rds with ice and apple cider
          • float a shot of Skrewball peanut butter whiskey on top
          • to commemorate SBF’s long history of bad decisions, garnish with a serving of your choice of citrus-flavored THC drinkable
          • don’t actually do the above step you will throw up in front of your disappointed family
          • swlabr@awful.systemsEnglish
            11·
            8 months ago

            Here’s my cocktail suggestion:

            50 Shades (Sam Bankman) Fried:

            Ingredients:

            • 50 different liquors/liqueurs, as many different densities and colours as possible

            Equipment:

            • Transparent cylindrical urn with spigot

            Steps:

            1. Sort the ingredients in decreasing order or liquid density.
            2. Pour 1/50th of the container capacity of each liquid in order into container, slowly and carefully to retain layers.

            (Do not actually make this)

            • skillissuerEnglish
              9·
              8 months ago

              ah yes the diabetes potion (bulk of density difference in drinkable things is due to differing sugar content)

    • Mii@awful.systemsEnglish
      11·
      8 months ago

      These clowns are so fucking incompetent at being evil geniuses that they need a document outlining their Evil Plan™ and not once think how that might be a stupid idea.

      • self@awful.systemsMEnglish
        18·
        8 months ago

        at this point, multiple people involved in crypto have been famously caught with a crimes.txt file on their unencrypted desktop, in signal chats named some shit like financial crimes and real gamers clubhouse where they talk about the crimes and Fortnite they’re doing, or with toilet phones protected by ziplock bags with crime burner phone (with evidence of my crimes) written on the bag with a sharpie

        • blakestacey@awful.systemsMEnglish
          11·
          8 months ago

          This is why my crimes.txt file just contains the recipes that I really should not try making, like Jake Morgendorffer’s chile con cheesepuffs with fresh mint, and my actual crime plans are in… oh ho, I see what you did there, you clever jack-a-napes!

        • Mii@awful.systemsEnglish
          11·
          8 months ago

          I suddenly feel like Hackerman because my PGP-encrypted file with Steam backup tokens is infinitely better secured than some crypto bro’s detailed confession of crimes that could land them jail for 50 years.

          • self@awful.systemsMEnglish
            13·
            8 months ago

            I wonder how much of this is hubris from the cryptocurrency assholes consistently trying to confuse the public into associating their horseshit with general cryptography (especially with the crypto abbreviation for both) and in the process gaslighting themselves into thinking they’re cryptography and computer security experts

  • V0ldek@awful.systemsEnglish
    28·
    8 months ago

    Turns out being a fucking sociopath is a good indicator of reoffence, who would’ve thinkity thunked.

    Give him 50 years of being forced to talk to a normal person that swats him in the head with a newspaper every time he says “expected value”, we can rehabilitate this boy.

      • V0ldek@awful.systemsEnglish
        14·
        8 months ago

        Want to be in charge of the US criminal justice system?

        I have zero qualifications, but I’m also not a bloodthirsty vengeful old guy, so it’d probably be a net improvement.

  • David Gerard@awful.systemsMEnglish
    17·
    8 months ago

    ACAB and abolish prisons, but we can leave finance cops and SBF until quite late in the process

    come the fabulous gay luxury space communism future, when scarcity itself becomes all but obsolete, we will absolutely have to make it clear that, at the mind-buggeringly long and rambling cadre meetings discussing the disbursement of the few items that remain restricted, Sam’s opinion is not invited

  • swlabr@awful.systemsEnglish
    17·
    8 months ago

    morality of an anime villain

    Plenty of anime villains would be insulted by this.

    IANAL: His defense team must truly suck ass. To let the prosecution build the case that he is essentially amoral and profit driven is just baffling. To let SBF speak in any capacity at all is more baffling. The only way they could bungle this further is if they asked for more time than the prosecution was asking for.

    • Architeuthis@awful.systemsOPEnglish
      21·
      8 months ago

      If I remember correctly SBF taking the stand was completely against his lawyers’ recommendations, and in general he seems to have a really hard time doing what people who know better tell him to, such as don’t DM journalists about your crimes and definitely don’t start a substack detailing how you felt justified in doing them, and also trying to ‘explain yourself’ to prosecution witnesses is witness tampering and will get your bail revoked.

    • David Gerard@awful.systemsMEnglish
      16·
      8 months ago

      There’s a limit to what anyone can achieve with this calibre of client. This is also his second defence team after the others refused to put up with his shit any more. He has a new, third defence team handling his appeal.

      • Soyweiser@awful.systemsEnglish
        14·
        8 months ago

        Is he the type of guy to go ‘wait if I just explain my stance more and more they will eventually understand’?

        Did he try to Rationalist blogpost monologue his defence team because he also wanted to do that to the judge? The idea of him trying to verbose from first principles the law in his own defense sounds very funny to me. Poor lawyers

        E: Officially perjured himself 3 times. Oof.

  • GorillasAreForEating@awful.systemsEnglish
    15·
    8 months ago

    Here is the document that mentions EA as risk factor, some quotes below

    Fourth, the defendant may feel compelled to do this fraud again, or a version of it, based on his use of idiosyncratic, and ultimately for him pernicious, beliefs around altruism, utilitarianism, and expected value to place himself outside of the bounds of the law that apply to others, and to justify unlawful, selfish, and harmful conduct. Time and time again the defendant has expressed that his preferred path is the one that maximizes his version of societal value, even if imposes substantial short term harm or carries substantial risks to others… In this case, the defendant’s professed philosophy has served to rationalize a dangerous brand of megalomania—one where the defendant is convinced that he is above the law and the rules of the road that apply to everyone else, who he necessarily deems inferior in brainpower, skill, and analytical reasoning.

  • Woke Sandwich Fillings@mastodon.me.uk
    14·
    8 months ago

    @Architeuthis

    “Almost all of the letters lamented the likelihood that victims will not be able to enjoy the gains on their crypto assets, as the bankruptcy proceedings are likely to pay out claims in dollars based on the price of Bitcoin and other assets on the date of bankruptcy ($16,871, in Bitcoin’s case) rather than their prices today (around $70,000, or over four times as much)” oh no what a shame

    • mountainriver@awful.systems
      English
      10·
      8 months ago

      Your honor, My client caused no damages.

      As clearly seen in the impact statements the only thing that was lost was crypto currencies and as they state they would have been held on to if not lost. By holding on to the crypto currencies, the victims shows a common delusion in the crypto sphere, namely that crypto has value. In all certainty they would have held on until said crypto was lost, stolen or had collapsed. The true expected value was zero.

    • gerikson@awful.systemsEnglish
      10·
      8 months ago

      I remember people convinced his big donations to Democrats would enable him to walk.

      Edit I’m pretty sure those same people are gonna defend the judge’s opinion that SBF is the worst defendant he’s ever met with the fact he’s autistic.

  • RatBin@lemmy.worldEnglish
    10·
    8 months ago

    He also brainstormed ideas to rehabilitate his image, including “Go on Tucker Carlsen [sic], come out as a republican”, seek support from “random subgroups” including the alt-right or “some other displaced group”, “come out as extremely pro crypto, pro freedom”, embrace the narrative that “SBF died for our sins”, condemn the bankruptcy lawyers, or applaud the bankruptcy lawyers.

    This person…he’s not fit to live in a normal society. He also planned to launche another crypto exchange after ftx. He’s going to do that again and again…if they let him free (they won’t)

    • Coll@awful.systemsEnglish
      8·
      8 months ago

      embrace the narrative that “SBF died for our sins”

      Huh? This is so absurdly self-aggrandizing that I struggle to comprehend what he’s even saying. What did he imagine “our sins” were, and how did getting imprisoned absolve them?

      • RatBin@lemmy.worldEnglish
        5·
        8 months ago

        That confused me as well. Is he having a crisis or an episode fueled by some religios ideas?

      • jotaemei@awful.systemsEnglish
        3·
        8 months ago

        I know nothing about this and have only seen some extremely obnoxious cryptobros on Twitter, but my guess of the narrative is that it would operate on SBF paving the way for them via doing crypto, where crypto is seen as rebellious against a rules-based, above board, banking order that’s trying to shut them out, keep them submissive and down, out of the game, etc.

  • jotaemei@awful.systemsEnglish
    5·
    8 months ago

    That is so bizarre that I thought it was parody. I guess Poe’s Law applies to ratty effective altruists.