idk what I’m looking for from this post. But I’m honestly fine with how my face looks. But unless I look feminine, most bi-women are going to keep assuming I want to dom and top without even asking (aka treat me like a man…). Lesbians won’t be attracted to me. 99% of people won’t perceive me as a women and interact the same they do with other women
I think I can get FFS lined up in some months but I feel extremely weird changing my face so drastically and suddenly. I’m dissociating extremely hard rn just thinking about it. I can’t imagine how bad it’d be after the surgeries. I feel like I’d lose a big part of my identity. I’m deathly afraid of looking into a mirror and not recognizing the face staring back at me
There’s something about the face being by far the premier identifier for human beings here. Because if they were easy/safe, I totally would get surgeries to contract my shoulders and ribcage in an instant LOL
Honestly, so much of what I do to transition is just so the world will interact with me like a woman. I also quite like my “natural” deep heavy 75hz voice tbh. But I’m still voice training at a light valley girl 200-250hz range because I can’t look masculine and have that deep a voice for people to treat me like a woman. At least the voice training is okay though, it was something that I developed in steps + I can still talk nearly the same as I did previously when I want so I don’t feel divorced from who I am
Gender in its current form is so fucking stupid I want something like what some indigenous cultures had
I totally feel that on the voice training. My voice was also very deep, and I’ve finally gotten it around 190hz, with a little farther to go. Voice training sucks because I hate listening to my voice, and listening to a feminine voice is only slightly less cringe. But, Im incredibly glad that I can at least sound androgynous now. Like walking around in public while looking more or less like a women but have a super deep voice is basically unworkably awkward.
Idk is being accepted by society not a valid reason to do things? Like there are a whole range of physics features that you can have, which are not gendered, but which still provoke a strong reaction. If I was a ballerina and I really cared about dancing, and I had some injury that didn’t effect my day to day life but stopped me from dancing, most would agree that I should get surgery. But there is no objective reason in this scenario why I need that surgery, it’s because of the particular arbitrary conditions of my life that it will improve things. Being a trans women in the 2020s is a particular condition too, but if a somewhat simple surgery will make your life better for any reason why not do it?
I don’t really date cis women so I can’t totally speak to this, but my assumption would be that changing this requires a whole different surgery…