I’m really leaning towards being femme in some capacity. Not sure if that’ll be a fem enby or a transwoman.
Seems like a reason to aim towards that direction and see where it takes you. Given how many people have difficulty calling themselves a woman when they have a very masculine body, I personally just use the transfem NB label, but I’m don’t really feel locked in on any particular label. OTOH, I think my uncertainty is a large contributor to why I have a hard time coming out because I don’t want to seem like I’m just doing it because its trendy or something.
I really wish I could try more clothes. I’m actually crying because I can’t. I don’t know how I’d feel but it’d be nice to try.
If home isn’t a safe-place, could you try our clothes at stores? It can be scary though. Also, sometimes can cause dysphoria because the clothes don’t look they way you would like with your current body, but that’s still useful information. OTOH, sometimes things you don’t expect to care much for can be surprisingly nice.
If you haven’t read the above article or similar ones, it might be helpful (not necessarily endorsing the entire article, but the main idea can be helpful). There’s should be no need to prove that you are trans (or any specific sublabel) to anyone, including yourself. If you approached the question from the default of being trans and tried to prove you are actually cis to the standard of evidence, how well would that go?
I suppose I could change my pronouns here but I’d just feel like a fake.
I hope no one here would want you to feel that way. For me, it was putting “they/them” as my twitch pronouns that I considered for a long time, but since I thought I was “technically cis” it would somehow be insulting to trans people. Every time I’ve seen that topic come up since, people have been overwhelmingly supportive of the idea that people should just use the pronouns they sincerely want. Of course our biggest judges tend to be ourselves, but if you’re thinking you want she/her, she/they, etc then go for it! If for some reason you change your mind, you can just change it back.
spoiler
Like I’m quite tall for a guy but there’s basically no women who are this tall. I’ll be instantly clocked forever
Pretty sure I’ve heard of other really tall trans women saying it surprisingly hasn’t really been a problem for them. I remember one person talking about how they’ve embraced their height and even do things like wear high heels and such.
But yeah, height is annoying. Its funny how guys like to exaggerate their height. Meanwhile, I’ve been told I’m taller than I say I am by a few guys… most of the time it seems they take offense at it because we’re basically the same height.
But it does make it add an additional challenge to finding clothes that fit well. And I’m barely above average for men, so still within the range of lots of cis women. But unfortunately, even fairly normal cis women are often excluded by fashion standards. Some companies just don’t want to make clothes to fit larger people because they think it would reflect badly on their brand image, for example.
and be some lumbering pervert. Be a fucking massive dude trying on girl clothes that won’t fit right anyway.
Yea, that’s kinda the two ways it could go. I don’t really know what the first would tell me but it’d be something.
The null hypothesis is very helpful to me. “How well would that go?” Not very. If I was born a woman I don’t think I’d be switching.
I know they wouldn’t want me to feel that way, but I still would I had the biggest load of cope ever to set my tag to they/them when I signed up. It just… doesn’t feel right to set them as she/her or she/them when I’m living as a cis guy.
I don’t really know what the first would tell me but it’d be something.
Personally, I tried out cosplaying as a female character in public with family and friends (only a couple of whom I’m out to) and I enjoyed it, but I won’t look at pictures because I look like “a guy in a dress” so to speak and I disliked that. The reaction of strangers generally seemed to assume I dressed the way I did to be funny and had someone ask me what I was using for boobs when I was just walking by them, but no one said anything bad. Had a couple aunts ask to take pictures of me because their niece was a fan of that character and neither of them acted weird about it, so that was cool. Overall, I think it just confirmed that I’d like to work towards having a body that I could dress like that without it being seen as some sort of joke or have people question what I’m using for boobs. Perhaps just moving out of Texas would help with that though.
It just… doesn’t feel right to set them as she/her or she/them when I’m living as a cis guy.
Relatable. The immediate motivation to finally start HRT for me was I don’t want to be an uncle (sister announced she was pregnant) and I don’t want to look like an uncle when the child is learning to talk. Like, I already basically planned on eventually trying HRT, but that was a reason to not delay getting started (my plan was to wait at least a few more years to save up more money).
Hopefully you can feel comfortable making the pronoun change here soon though.
why are women’s clothes the way that they are
I gonna blame men often owning clothing brands for women.
Seems like a reason to aim towards that direction and see where it takes you. Given how many people have difficulty calling themselves a woman when they have a very masculine body, I personally just use the transfem NB label, but I’m don’t really feel locked in on any particular label. OTOH, I think my uncertainty is a large contributor to why I have a hard time coming out because I don’t want to seem like I’m just doing it because its trendy or something.
If home isn’t a safe-place, could you try our clothes at stores? It can be scary though. Also, sometimes can cause dysphoria because the clothes don’t look they way you would like with your current body, but that’s still useful information. OTOH, sometimes things you don’t expect to care much for can be surprisingly nice.
https://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/04/17/the-null-hypothecis/
If you haven’t read the above article or similar ones, it might be helpful (not necessarily endorsing the entire article, but the main idea can be helpful). There’s should be no need to prove that you are trans (or any specific sublabel) to anyone, including yourself. If you approached the question from the default of being trans and tried to prove you are actually cis to the standard of evidence, how well would that go?
I hope no one here would want you to feel that way. For me, it was putting “they/them” as my twitch pronouns that I considered for a long time, but since I thought I was “technically cis” it would somehow be insulting to trans people. Every time I’ve seen that topic come up since, people have been overwhelmingly supportive of the idea that people should just use the pronouns they sincerely want. Of course our biggest judges tend to be ourselves, but if you’re thinking you want she/her, she/they, etc then go for it! If for some reason you change your mind, you can just change it back.
spoiler
Pretty sure I’ve heard of other really tall trans women saying it surprisingly hasn’t really been a problem for them. I remember one person talking about how they’ve embraced their height and even do things like wear high heels and such.
But yeah, height is annoying. Its funny how guys like to exaggerate their height. Meanwhile, I’ve been told I’m taller than I say I am by a few guys… most of the time it seems they take offense at it because we’re basically the same height.
But it does make it add an additional challenge to finding clothes that fit well. And I’m barely above average for men, so still within the range of lots of cis women. But unfortunately, even fairly normal cis women are often excluded by fashion standards. Some companies just don’t want to make clothes to fit larger people because they think it would reflect badly on their brand image, for example.
Yea that’s definitely how I feel.
clothes shopping
Yea, that’s kinda the two ways it could go. I don’t really know what the first would tell me but it’d be something.
The null hypothesis is very helpful to me. “How well would that go?” Not very. If I was born a woman I don’t think I’d be switching.
I know they wouldn’t want me to feel that way, but I still would
I had the biggest load of cope ever to set my tag to they/them when I signed up. It just… doesn’t feel right to set them as she/her or she/them when I’m living as a cis guy.
spoiler
Personally, I tried out cosplaying as a female character in public with family and friends (only a couple of whom I’m out to) and I enjoyed it, but I won’t look at pictures because I look like “a guy in a dress” so to speak and I disliked that. The reaction of strangers generally seemed to assume I dressed the way I did to be funny and had someone ask me what I was using for boobs when I was just walking by them, but no one said anything bad. Had a couple aunts ask to take pictures of me because their niece was a fan of that character and neither of them acted weird about it, so that was cool. Overall, I think it just confirmed that I’d like to work towards having a body that I could dress like that without it being seen as some sort of joke or have people question what I’m using for boobs. Perhaps just moving out of Texas would help with that though.
Relatable. The immediate motivation to finally start HRT for me was I don’t want to be an uncle (sister announced she was pregnant) and I don’t want to look like an uncle when the child is learning to talk. Like, I already basically planned on eventually trying HRT, but that was a reason to not delay getting started (my plan was to wait at least a few more years to save up more money).
Hopefully you can feel comfortable making the pronoun change here soon though.
I gonna blame men often owning clothing brands for women.