Sofia “Buff Girlfriend” @sofiabuffgf

Installing a bidet at home was life changing but unfortunately it’s transformed pooping on company time from a small proletarian victory into yet another grueling humiliation of inadequate working conditions.

  • kinther@lemmy.worldEnglish
    311·
    6 months ago

    Using just toilet paper is like if a bird shit on your arm and you used toilet paper to wipe it off. There’s still shit on your arm - you’re still dirty and need to wash it off. Bidets are really superior in every way.

    • shottymcb@lemm.eeEnglish
      92·
      6 months ago

      I mean, If a bird shit on me, I wouldn’t consider myself clean if I just hosed it off with water either. Soap needs to be involved. Bidet or TP is just a stopgap until you actually wash your ass. With soap.

      • slickgoat@lemmy.worldEnglish
        7·
        6 months ago

        Wet wipes are a problem to the sewage system. They don’t break down, they clog. Don’t use them unless your selfishness outweighs your sense of responsibility. This isn’t a TED talk, just be a decent human being.

    • Mango@lemmy.worldEnglish
      426·
      6 months ago

      Using a bidet is like a bird pooped on you and you just splashed that shit all over the place and got everything wet.

      • odelik@lemmy.todayEnglish
        16·
        6 months ago

        Steps for using a bidet:

        1. After pooping, remain seated on toilet seat with bidet
        2. Turn on bidet to desired pressure.
        3. Wiggle your butt around letting the water jet spray you down.
        4. Turn off bidet.
        5. Grab a few squares of TP and fold them over.
        6. Wipe water off and inspect for cleanliness.
        7. Repeat steps above if TP wasn’t clean.

        Congrats, you’re now a pro, an clean, pooper.

        • Mango@lemmy.worldEnglish
          220·
          6 months ago

          So poopy water goes everywhere and soggy TP goes all over my butt. You call that clean. Enjoy the splashed about bits of everyone else’s poop around the thinnest and least protected membranes in your body. I’m not wasting any more break time replying to you.

          • TwistyLexEnglish
            91·
            6 months ago

            I’m sitting here wondering… Do you think a bidet uses the water currently in the bowl? Or that it sprays through that water? Because it doesn’t.

          • slickgoat@lemmy.worldEnglish
            51·
            6 months ago

            Once again, it looks like you have never used a bidet yet somehow have the confidence to get everything wrong.

            Or, you have tried to use a bidet and did some kind of three stooges bit in the process.

            Clearly bidets are not for you, Sir.

              • Patapon Enjoyer@lemmy.worldEnglish
                41·
                6 months ago

                You take a shower every time you take a shit or do you just shit, take your clothes off, head to the shower and spread your cheeks for a minute?

          • jolEnglish
            41·
            6 months ago

            Please take the words of experience of this thread: your perspective is incorrect. It’s OK to change your mind. Bidets don’t plash shit everywhere and your but can be as clean as it could be without using soap.

        • Mango@lemmy.worldEnglish
          113·
          6 months ago

          Did YOURS? Where I’m from, if you’re playing in the water but the dishes still have food on them, you’re in trouble.