Sending good vibes to all of my trans comrades cat-trans

As a reminder, be sure to properly give content warnings and put sensitive subjects behind proper spoiler tags. It’s for the mental health of not just your comrades, but yourself as well.

Here is a screenshot of where to find the spoiler button.

  • dragongloss [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.netEnglish
    27·
    3 months ago

    tw: outing

    spoiler

    I was recently clocked and subsequently outed in public in a busy coffee shop by another trans woman that I did not know in front of my social worker. Is it not bad form for another trans person to come up to another trans person like that? The most I ever do is silently nod/acknowledge another trans person’s existence in public and go on about my day.

    It would be different if she was in distress or needed help or something, but she just wanted to shoot the shit with me and talk about our transness which made things very awkward for me with my social worker. It really pissed me off that another trans person would do this to me.

    Is there a Trans Code of Conduct?

    :::

    • Babs [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      25·
      3 months ago

      If you want to acknowledge another trans girl in public, you compliment her shoes or her outfit or something.

        • AcidSmiley [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
          7·
          3 months ago

          It’s also a way better conversation starter. I honestly don’t like to center the stereotypical “let’s talk hormones and how our coming out went” trans conversations irl. It’s not as if i’m avoiding these subjects, but if i can’t bond with a person over other queer experiences than that, over trans and lesbian culture, over weird special interests and inside jokes, if we only interact as medical cases and not as people and turn the conversation into an impromptu self help group, i will likely leave that conversation feeling worse than before. I don’t want to hear your E2 levels, i want you to infodump about medieval siege weapons and hyperpop so i can infodump about cretaceous ecoystems and modular synthesizers later on.

          I know that’s something many early transition folks will disagree with, but after just a few years, you’ve had that talk a thousand times, it’s been at the center of hundreds of online threads, it just gets stale and opens up old wounds that should be left to heal. And it leaves no room for the things in my life that make me glad to be trans. I connect with other trans people to find new friendships and maybe more than that, or to organize, i’m out there with my fellow queers to live together, not to suffer together.

    • frankfurt_schoolgirl [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      21·
      3 months ago

      yes this is incredibly bad form if you don’t know the other person and how comfortable they would be with that. i agree that if you see another trans person and really want to talk you should go with a compliment that’s not related to them passing.

    • Kiagz [she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
      17·
      3 months ago

      Yeah, that’s really not cool.

      spoiler

      Outing someone as trans without their consent could be outright dangerous. Maybe she was desperate to have another trans person to talk to, but that’s not an excuse. I think the only times it’s okay to approach another trans person like this is if they’re wearing some kind of trans pride apparel