Because I honestly can’t. I can barely talk with the very few people I know. Is just so out of my range. That’s why I don’t have friends or a partner and I don’t see that changing.
EDIT: no, responding comments here or asking this question ISN’T having a conversation for me. So I don’t feel this as “progress”.
gestures to the site we are all using rn
All the time. I don’t know any of you!
You don’t know that! All you know is that you don’t know if you know any of us. ;)
That implies I know people IRL.
I can assure you, I do not.
Yes, lots. And not because I’m an extrovert. It’s a very commonly used life skill and I wouldn’t, for example, be able to do my job without it.
No. Between being really poor about remembering names and whether I’ve met someone before, and always being suspicious about their motives for approaching me, it never goes well.
This past summer I travelled down south and it was a strange experience - people were friendly and wanted to chat, and even be helpful, and not once was there an obvious scam. I’m too old to be discovering something like this but I’ve always been with family or friends or something, or visiting tourist spots, but this time I was wandering in “normal” places. After a week, I was finally open to small talk without suspicion, but what an experience!
I do now, tho I prefer to read in silence. What helped me, was to remind myself, that in the grand scheme of things this conversation and any opinion this stranger will have of me is irrelevant.
I’m always sitting primed and ready for some random chit chat but I’m too shy to initiate. If you ever see a mid 20s male sitting alone, he more than likely would be more than happy to talk to you or anyone for that matter.
We don’t get alot of attention when not seeked out :/
I have conversations with strangers all the time. I believe everyone is capable of this through the power of alcohol.
I noticed early in my 20’s that my social anxiety had gotten to a point where I couldn’t casually chat with random people. So I made an effort to do it anyway even though the results wouldn’t be favourable for a while. It took a few years before I noticed it didn’t take much of a push any more to start. I’m 40 now and while I still don’t enjoy talking to strangers, especially when just making meaningless small talk, I at least don’t have a wall of pre-dread anymore to climb in the case that I do need/want to talk to a stranger. Like if they dropped something, or if I want a product in a store that is not currently stocked on the shelf.
Yes. What’s blocking you? What circumstances are you in where you want to talk and aren’t?
Very well. The other night was at a fall festival and they had some carnys pushing carts filled with toys and balloons, you know, plastic swords, plastic guns, snaps, stink bombs, and blow up guitars, etc., and they all had a bunch of flags for sale, including, at the very top, a bunch of made in China trump shit.
I saw one carney, who was black, and he did not have trump shit. So when it was time to let the kiddo pick a toy or something, I said he could buy from that carney. And I struck up a convo by offering that it was his lack of Trump shit that got him this sale; an important thing, I think, to tell retailers of this sort. We dapped it up for a second and he was looked at me like, “come the fuck on, obviously there’s no trump shit on my cart.” He said one of the other Carneys told him how much more money he could make, and how he asked the other guy back, “man, are you fucking stupid?” Nice guy.
Yeah. I haven’t always been very comfortable with it, I made active effort to learn ways to make it easier.
I also lived in the Midwest for a while where asking someone “How are you doing” is an actual invitation to conversation and not just a response of “fine”. I learned some people are very open to chitchat with strangers, some people aren’t, and it gets pretty easy with practice to tell which is which noting body language and those first few words they respond to you with.
Also, you’re doing it now, OP. Way to go. Forum conversations like this totally count. Maybe next level up for you is some IM chatting with someone from a hobby group you’re interested in.
He is not doing it now though. Chatting online has nothing to do with real life talking to another person.
It totally doesn’t count dude. Especially since this isn’t my first language, or second, I have no use for English outside Google and pointless social media light usage.
Sooooo, do this but in a language that “counts”?
I can, yes. Do I often? I do so less now than I did when I was younger just because I’m not in as many places where random conversations would happen.
As others have said, it takes practice to be able to do that. Along with that, I’d recommend reading up on active listening. A lot of people are happy to talk if others listen.
I could have a conversation with a stranger, but I would prefer not to. I don’t find silence uncomfortable and I’m perfectly happy to wait quietly.
I don’t like it when people try to chat when I’m having my hair cut, or waiting for something. Small talk is a drag and I really don’t care about any of it.
I totally understand that feeling.
If you having trouble knowing what to say in a conversation is what you’re getting at, I can relate to that. Once in a while I’ll have found a stranger whose standards I can meet, but they’re so few and far between that no tangible friendships have been made.
I have conversations with strangers all day every day. I’m an uber driver. Best job I’ve ever had.
yeah, no problem.
i’m a social butterfly when i’m drunk and somehow managed to transfer this skill into my sober life over the years.
i’m even pretty good at phonecalls now. those terrified me my whole life. now i often prefer them over emails/texting.
