What qualities do you covet?
I wish I were less anxious/self-conscious. It’s weird because outwardly almost no one knows that I am. I’m charismatic and easy to talk to, a natural leader in the workplace (I’ve managed now at every job I’ve held) and I’m a loving and supportive father. But deep down I’m still self-conscious as hell. I experience a lot of spotlight syndrome and I feel like I dress frumpy, walk weird, etc. I have a lot of social anxiety and think every situation/confrontation is going to be a worst-case scenario. Had to take 5 weeks off of work for a stress fracture and allowed myself to believe leading up to it that my (typically supportive) boss was going to be angry or petty or challenge me over it. He was extremely supportive and told me to just take the time off and not to worry about putting out the fires at work.
I don’t know how I conditioned myself to be like this. Probably a side-effecting of growing up fat and all the self-hate that came with it. I got rid of the fat a lot time ago, but I don’t think that shit ever really left me. Fortunately my daughter does not share my lack of confidence. That kid is miles ahead of her peers and I’m so proud of her.
Wish I could negotiate and haggle, I just don’t want to, it doesn’t feel good to me. I’d rather accept or refuse the offer and move on.
Do you tend to struggle with people pleasing as well or is it limited to negotiation?
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Athleticism and the ability to be sufficiently social.
I really struggle to answer this even though I have this constant feeling of something being wrong. I’ve been quite lucky with genetics and the things I’ve wanted to change that can be changed I pretty much already have.
I guess there are two things I’d like to even further improve on:
- I’d like to care less. I like myself the least when I get emotionally captured. I’d like to just be able to let it go and be teflon where nothing sticks.
- I’d like to naturally want to read more.
Good health. But alas.
I wish I was happy. Not even all of the time, just some?
Ugh, I feel this. I’m just so done.
I sometimes wish I could be social without feeling mentally and physically drained.
Same, its always seems to take a toll no matter how well it goes or how much I like the others
Wish I wasn’t depressed and anxious so I could do what normal people seem to do normally every they meanwhile it takes me a week if I have better episode.
I wish I was more Christlike.
No matter what you believe about Christianity, you can’t deny that He is a pretty good role model.
Fuckin guy had balls of titanium. Could tell off the cops to their faces and walk away.
Though it did catch up with him.
I mean He did have the last laugh
I’m a particular fan of the “flipping the tables of the vendors at the temple” behavior.
That was pretty based
I wish I was more disciplined/focused.
Can you do it just for today?
I wish I was a dog for real.
Honestly, I’m not even a furry but it has to be exhilarating to be a big wolf or cat.
To not procrastinate.
I’ll comment on this later.
That I was as socially confident as other people seem to be, I don’t care if it’s all a facade, I want to be able to use the facade.
Like with most skills, one becomes confident with practice.
I’m a natural introvert and an only child and therefore has little practice of taking to others. I had no idea of how important small talk is. I learned by working in a bar, where social interaction can’t really be dodged and found out that social interaction isn’t that daunting as it seemed to me.
It still not my biggest hobby yet I’m not longer afraid of social interaction like I used to be.
What helps me is knowing that everyone is fucking awkward.
I’ve met thousands upon thousands of people and I have never met anyone who is not socially awkward, just a lot of people who are socially skilled in different ways.
The people who don’t come across as awkward are the people who acknowledge their awkwardness and own it, who give themselves an opportunity to fumble with their awkwardness and to get used to it the same way you do with any other difficult thing like math or reading or studying or dance or games.
I said all of that to say, not being awkward is not a talent, it is a skill, and you can learn it.
Someone made an offhand comment that I would be an otter if only I were more laid back.
And honestly, that made me kinda wish I could be more relaxed and chill. Everything just seems to important and stressful and difficult and intense to me… I wish I could just turn that all off and just let things happen to me as they come rather than fearing and planning for the future.
How might you roleplay that? Where did the whole otter segue come from haha 🦦
Was talking to someone about appearances and gay stereotypes.
