Ah yes, dying horribly in a never ending fascist war machine is so much preferable to orgies!
It’s funny how they look at a setting barely less overtly satirical than Judge Dredd (to the point of having cops in it that are literally outright homages) completely saturated by the quite specific miserable, dystopian vibes of 80s England under Thatcher, and go “yes please!”. And by funny I mean Khorne is going to manifest in reality through the conduit of my brain.
I also hate the way chuds spam out God-Emperor memes for whichever pathetic whiteboy they’re jacking themselves off to at any given moment, when the canonical Emperor was an Anatolian born in 10,000BC with a gestalt soul formed from the shamans of every tribe living on Earth at the time. The ‘Avatar of Humanity’ is not going to be white.
Isn’t literally the entire point of warhammer that the endless violence and suffering fuels the chaos and is basically the reason it exists in the first place.
Complaining about the US govt being too big and then identifying with the Imperium in 40K is wild. In lore, people spend their entire fucking lives waiting in line for some bureaucracy shit with the Administratum on Holy Terra.
Some places require several generations of waiting in line to get tickets to go see the Imperial Palace on Terra. The wait is so long with such a high demand it takes decades or even centuries just so your great-grandkids can go die of heart failure at 96 years old trying to climb what’s left of the Himalayas.
They all think they’d be a Space Marine
They never think they’d be the scutman who dies because the planetary governor accidentally launched a viral bomb into their house
We’re in 401320 motherfucker, you are a servo skull. You live on Mars. You are a peasant. You need to give your techpriest the fucking sector scans.
Not even a very well decorated servo skull
all grey plastic, not even painted
Dipped in Walmart craft paint and left to dry laying on a paper towel.
Imperial population is likely several trillion at the low end
Space Marine population is nominally one million, in reality probably far less
Not that chuds have ever been good at math.
Imperial population is likely several trillion at the low end
Earth/Terra alone is supposed to have a few quadrillion.
Umm, uhhh, Terra isn’t a recruiting world for any chapters so it doesn’t count
James workshop is also very bad at scale in their own universe though. You’ll have 100 year full scale wars over entire systems and the lore will say some shit like “3 million casualties of IG over the course of the war”; like that’s probably not even in the top 10 casualties list of imperial Chinese rebellions.
Worse is their space marine treatment, where apparently a million known space marines is enough to serve as shock troops over the entirety of their holdings in the galaxy.
Rule of cool and all, but every time I see a 40k novel mention numbers I have to add two zeros to the end for it to actually make sense given the quadrillions of imperials and the other quadrillions of their enemies.
100% in general, famously the leman russ tank has a comically small amount of armor. But when it comes to space marines specifically, imo part of the point is that the symbol of the Imperium’s strength is spread too thin and is completely lacking, which is part of why the Imperium has been in a constant spiraling decline for over ten thousand years. I’ll admit this take makes a bit less sense since they started advancing the timeline.
That is exactly why in Fantasy, they say “There are exactly as many Elves as the story needs”.
(Even that doesn’t justify though, the elves apparently being in such a population crisis that the death of even one elf is enough to be considered a tragedy for the race, yet hundreds of elves regularly die in battle, and every year, the Dark Elves celebrate Murder Christmas.)
Who even WOULD they be in the Imperium? They’re not strong enough to be Space Marines or Imperial Guard, or even Inquisition, not smart enough to be Mechanicus, not disciplined enough to be Administratum or in a Forge World, not charismatic enough to be in a Pleasure World, and they would almost certainly not be Psykers, so they couldn’t even be fed to the Golden Throne.
Where does that leave them? Cannon fodder? Human test subjects?
Most people are at the bottom of the hierarchy. Even the Imperial Guard are among the top-tier forces of the Imperium. They have better equipment and training than PDFs (planetary defense force) or the private mercenary armies of whatever rich fuck. And being in the Guard still sucks.
The lower castes within the Imperium have few (if any) rights. Some are slaves doing horrific labor in even worse conditions. Some are turned into servitors, performing the tasks of AI and computers without being AI. Some are harvested for organs or experimented on. Some are straight-up killed by the wealthy for sport. And this doesn’t even get into what kinds of things are done to humans by various aliens and chaos worshippers.
It is the cruelest and bloodiest regime imaginable. An eternity of carnage and slaughter, and the laughter of thirsting gods.
servitors,but that would imply they were cool enough to do a crime though, so maybe not. what are those skull bots flying around? probably one of those
Either a hive city rat hunter or a thrall on a feral world.
Being in the lower tier of a hive city still requires you to be a badass though. They are what Nextdoor boomers think big cities are like, but on steroids.
Eh, you could be some malnourished drug lab prole working for a gang of roided up future guard recruits. Or a scrap harvester living in an abandoned sewer drain.
Material for Corpse Starch
This is why I stay away from Warhammer
That and money
Mostly money
Warhammer fans make Skiing look cheap.
I’m more of a Tzeentchian girl myself, but I wouldn’t mind giving in to Slaanesh.
Also, imagine liking the most boring fucking faction in the world. The Ultramarines. Fucking Rowboat Gorillaman is such a Mary Sue loser.
Personally I think Grandfather Nurgle should be the official ruinous power of HexBear but that’s just me.
Nah, Nurgle is all about stagnation. Vote Tzeentch for CHANGE 2028 and we will bring in immaterial communism!
I do however support Nurglings.
No, Nurgle is also the king of rebirth. Unlike the other ruinous powers he wants to destroy the galaxy so that it can be created anew, freed from the shackles of corpse emperor.
You clearly haven’t read enough theory!
Please, stop fighting, Hexbear is a chaos unity site
How can we expect to defeat necro-capitalism and its corpse emperors
without all our contradictory aspects?The Great Game has only precluded this
True. I don’t care for Khorne social regressiveness but I do provide him with criticism support since he does challenge corpse emperor hegemony.
Just popping in to let all the filthy mon’keigh mongrels know that Eldar Craftworlds are canonically communism. Sucks to suck.
Really? Aren’t Tau supposed to be Communism?
Tau used to be a lot cooler, but the grimdark fan lads did a massive cry about weeabooification of their grimdork nonsense setting. Now the tau are a lot less cool with mind control and sterilisation camps etc etc
Notably, the Tau were introduced only a few years after the setting turned grimdark.
Are the sterilization camps and stuff substantiated or is that more “unreliable narrator” stuff?
I dont know, Im not rich enough to have the books. I mostly remember the outrage about ““good guys” in our grimdark
” and the anti anime / japan sentimentI always thought making the Tau the good guys but then making them lose to the imperium would be the ultimate grimdark
“You underestimate my racism!”
a phil kelly book has hit the nice and cool tau lore
T’au are more like NATO
They all imagine they’ll be space marines rather than some sickly hive citizen that gets got by the feeeeeeeemales of clan Escher.
Even in the grim darkness of the 41st millenia incels will still be terrified of women, but this time it won’t be the incels gunning women down.
If the emperor showed up claiming to be my daddy and forced me to abandon my slave-gladiator-rebel allies on the eve of battle with the noble armies coming to crush them, I too would be a terrible manager and betray him at the first opportunity.
Anyway Angron was set up, he didn’t choose to get the nuralink installed
The Emperor could have probably had him onside forever if he’d just teleported down and killed the slavers but no he was too busy arguing with Malcador that there should be no girlz allowed in the army because they have cooties.
He could’ve just given Angron command of his legion at that time and he would’ve been forever loyal.
woe betide every single imperium larper
fucking idiots
Me, as an imperial guard conscript: this sucks ass, dying out here to soak up bullets for those big metal assholes
Me, as a Gue’vesa auxiliary: wow, this rocks. I get to break enemy lines for funny robot guy
It’s that “wow! cool future!” meme except they’re doing it unironically.
I thought whole point of that setting is that literally everyone is sacrificed to war, regardless of the side. Space marines are one in a million combatants at best, just like how chaos has one cool demon for every jillion little bullshit mobs.
Honestly the only good faction to be in is Orks, because while they all die horribly in war, they’re genetically engineered to FUCKING LOVE IT! It’s their favorite thing ever being ripped apart in bloody combat!
also part of their natural reproductive cycle, right?
Orks are moral because they follow the golden rule: do onto others(war) as you would have them do unto you(also war).
Orks just think everyone is having a fun time.
“wut? Da oomans don’t like it when we blast em with da shootas? I thought we wuz just havin a good ol waaaarrrrgggghhhh!”
Left wing this, right wing that, I just wanna grill for hive’s sake
Chaos this, emperor that, I just wanna WAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH goddammit!
