63 comments and no “Your Mom” jokes?.. smdh

I wash myself with soap and water

I used to sit down at the end of my showers and do the whole Tears in rain monologue lmao

Two answers:

1 ) Sex. It’s uncomfortable and not sexy at all. Completely overrated experience. Movies made it look fun. They lied. If I wanted to play slippery meat Jenga with a chance of cracking my head open I’d play with a package of hotdogs on the floor of an Amazon warehouse.

2 ) Started sweeping all the hairs stuck to the wall of the shower into a pattern while making jokes about my girlfriend being The Ring ghost

Okay maybe 3. Third one: sang the Leonard Nimoy “Bilbo Baggins” song while scrubbing between my toes.

DUE TO WOKE cam in the shower is NO longer weird!

Idk but my roommate in my college dorm would regularly eat yogurt

Waterbending.

When I first moved out of my parents and into a tiny studio I refused to use the landlord’s washing machines and dryers in the basement of the building for some inexplicable reason so I hand washed my clothes and bedding and air dried them. My comforter was too big for the sink so I cleaned it by getting undressed, putting detergent on it, and wrestling it in the (standing) shower until it was thoroughly soaked and soaped. Then I’d rinse it off and wring it out as much as possible and hang dry it.

Once, when I was really fluey and sleep deprived I went to do myself some lemsip only to find the kettle was on the blink. I shambled into the shower, turned it on, then sat in the shower with the cup on my lap and just emptied the sachet into the shower water I’d collected in my cup.

Volcel police help help volcel police

I’m in the shower right now, so, posting on Hexbear, I guess

Watch the smut Patrick Bateman listens to while working out in American psycho

When I was in student accommodation, I didn’t share the shower with anyone or pay electricity bills, so I liked to turn in the shower, turn off the lights and just sit for a long time. It was very nice. But very bad environmentally and financially

I tried to be all sexy and romantic once and take a shower with my ex but it wasn’t big enough for the two of us so I got out and sat on the toilet and waited for her to finish before I got back in and finished myself.