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  • rtstragedy [fae/faer, she/her]@hexbear.netEnglish
    8·
    5 hours ago
    cw relationship trauma, anxiety (but this is good news!!)

    I had the literal actual best fucking therapy appointment of my life yesterday, holy shit.

    I have been struggling with like really bad anxiety lately, to the point where I’ve had trouble eating and sleeping. During a therapy appointment yesterday, I realized that a part of me was reliving a particularly horrible fight I had with my first domestic partner, in which I became quite physically ill after.

    Since she’s a parts therapist, she suggested that this part of me that makes me feel sick from anxiety might be what’s known as an “Exile.” The way I’d describe it is “I’m not okay and I don’t know what’s going to make it okay.”

    I can’t get nexted spoilers working, so skip this paragraph if you don’t want graphic imagery. I imagine it as a anthropomorphic heart with an arrow stuck in it, bleeding for 15 years, lol. (oh and most of the heart tissue is infected, too…)

    She suggested that when I talk to people, I try to show up as my core self, instead of letting this part run things, and to treat it like I would a hurting friend.

    So I sure did lose a couple of hours of sleep last night due to it flaring up, but I tried this method and despite being a bit sleep-deprived today, I feel absolutely great, the anxiety didn’t take over, and today I feel like its possible for me to heal from this traumatic memory.

    Thanks for listening, chat, I just needed to share :)