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Sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to Memes@lemmy.ml · vor 3 Jahren

Sorry for the inconvenience

sh.itjust.works

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  • cross-posted to:
  • chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
710

Sorry for the inconvenience

sh.itjust.works

Sjmarf@sh.itjust.works to Memes@lemmy.ml · vor 3 Jahren
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65
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  • cross-posted to:
  • chapotraphouse@hexbear.net
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  • Appoxo@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    vor 3 Jahren

    Time for the poop knife

    • alvvayson@lemmy.world
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      vor 3 Jahren

      A complimentary poop knife and ruler should be provided.

      • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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        vor 3 Jahren

        *poop knife and poop ruler

    • RootBeerGuy
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      vor 3 Jahren

      The poop knife stays on reddit. Please.

      • Moc@lemmy.world
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        vor 3 Jahren

        The poop knife transcends reddit, please

        • Radioactive Radio@lemm.ee
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          vor 3 Jahren

          They probably holding it in. Lemmy people don’t shit, duh!?.

          • ITypeWithMyDick@lemmy.world
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            vor 3 Jahren

            But only for 3 days

      • nonailsleft@lemm.ee
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        vor 3 Jahren

        Can’t have both your fancy app and your fancy knife

      • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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        vor 3 Jahren

        I first learned of the poop knife on Metafilter.

        • PickTheStick@ttrpg.network
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          vor 3 Jahren

          I learned about it from my father… :'(

  • Absolute_Axoltl@feddit.uk
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    vor 3 Jahren

    Need one of those tools for measuring spaghetti portions attached

    • nonailsleft@lemm.ee
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      vor 3 Jahren

      That thing only works for standard length tho

      • WoahWoah@lemmy.world
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        vor 3 Jahren

        Periodically move it sideways. One oversized poop becomes two standard poops. Pooplication.

  • Trollivier@sh.itjust.works
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    vor 3 Jahren

    Gotta plan accordingly, or carry a poop knife.

  • NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone
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    vor 3 Jahren

    The real inconvenience is having to convert the olde world measurements to modern ones anyone would understand.

    • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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      vor 3 Jahren

      Fortunately toilets tend to stay attached to a specific region, so it’s possible to know which unit system the best majority of people using it will be most familiar with.

    • Franzia@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      While americans don’t measure in centimeters, we do understand grams. Weigh the damn poops.

    • negativeyoda@lemmy.world
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      vor 3 Jahren

      The United States, Liberia, and Myanmar all high five one another and beg to differ. It’s an exclusive club

  • daisy lazarus@lemmy.world
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    The arbitrary capitalisation of “Poops” and “Time” bothers me immensely.

    • SuperDuper@lemmy.world
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      But not Bigger?

      • RQG@lemmy.world
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        vor 3 Jahren

        The first letter if Bigger. That computes.

  • Destide@feddit.uk
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    vor 3 Jahren

    Brought to you by big poop knife

  • meseek #2982@lemmy.ca
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    vor 3 Jahren

    Sir. Sir. Sir! Your poop is too big. Please take it with you. Sorry for the inconvenience.

  • HeyMrDeadMan@lemmy.world
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    That’s funny… until I actually think about a 2.5in diameter turd… then I’m horrified.

    • SlopppyEngineer
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      Pretty much this size

      • urinnerchild87@lemmy.world
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        I think 2.5 inches would be closer to a soda can if we’re using references.

        • Madison420@lemmy.world
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          2.5" in diameter is just under a baseball (2.8").

          • Johandea@feddit.nu
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            Can you please start using real units. Seriously.

            • Madison420@lemmy.world
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              It’s the same size as a cricket ball, 2.8".

            • lolcatnip@reddthat.com
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              No. 2.5" is in real units already. What’s your problem with size comparisons?

      • nonailsleft@lemm.ee
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        vor 3 Jahren

        They should just refer to the caliber

        • dodslaser@feddit.nu
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          vor 3 Jahren

          I fire 120 mm high-explosive rounds

      • hydrospanner@lemmy.world
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        vor 3 Jahren

        Relevant username.

        That thing is nowhere near 2.5" dia.

        • SlopppyEngineer
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          I googled for 50 mm. That should be close enough.

          • SnipingNinja@slrpnk.net
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            Relevant username

          • FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world
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            2.5 inches is 635 mm. Thats much closer to 50 cm

            • SlopppyEngineer
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              1 inch is 25,4 mm, not 254 mm.

              • FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world
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                I am often incorrect. Today is one of those days

            • SnipingNinja@slrpnk.net
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              That doesn’t sound right to me. An inch has ~2.54 cm, so 2.5" should be 6.35 cm and a cm has 10mm, so that becomes 63.5mm

            • PickTheStick@ttrpg.network
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              Lol, 2.5 inches is over 2 feet?

  • Ecology8622@lemmy.ml
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    Just hang a poop knife. Problem solved.

  • funkajunk@lemm.ee
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    Whoever is making those poops, I feel so sorry for your tattered asshole.

    That’s bigger than a Coke can.

    • Rootiest@lemm.ee
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      Sure, sure. But they’ve probably been doing it for a while now.

      I feel bad for the person who’s come to expect them and isn’t going to get their XXL turds today.

      They are going to be very disappointed when they read that sign

  • PerogiBoi@lemmy.ca
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    When ya forget the tape measure outside of the bathroom 😔

  • Gork@lemm.ee
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    Time to squeeze them sphincter muscles to extrude a 4 inch long, 2.25 in diameter turd.

    • somethingsnappy@lemmy.world
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      That is way less volume. Acceptable.

      • CaptainBlagbird@lemmy.world
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        Rinse & repeat

        • SnipingNinja@slrpnk.net
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          Goddammit, this joke’s got layers

    • TimeSquirrel@kbin.social
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      Ah, the Play-doh fun factory technique.

  • deadcat@aussie.zone
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    Here in Australia no one has “poop knives”. American plumbing is a sad joke. Most Aussies don’t even own a plunger.

  • shortypants@lemmy.world
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    I poop in metric so this doesn’t apply to me.

    I live in Japan and you can flush a pair of work boots down these toilets.

    • Altima NEO@lemmy.zip
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      I poop in Courics

      • shortypants@lemmy.world
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        Take my upvote you magnificent bastard.

  • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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    That’s the size of a standard UK beer can.

    What fucking animals are using that poor toilet?

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