Ah damn it’s one of those single-use knives.
Cross contamination there’s a girl there you’ll get girl germs
Not if they get me germs first
Thank you for your service and sacrifice, brave little Hitachi wand.
That’s why you get the knife subscription plan.
Yeah fuck buying things for life - I am now buying things for death
Don’t give them any more ideas.
Only if you didn’t bring extra knife ammo
It’s one of those shivs from the last of us
Non-murder solution:
Place and hold the apples precisely on top of one another. (Make sure your fingers are not in the way.) From one side of the apple tower, go horizontally exactly two thirds of the way to the other side. At that position, cut vertically through both apples from top to bottom. You now have two pieces that are two thirds of an apple each, and two pieces that are one third each. The kid you like best will receive the end slices without the apple core in it.
More realistically, disregard the stupid premise and make as many cuts as you need.
The knife looks long enough you could probably cut 1/3 of each apple while they are placed side by side, which might be easier and safer to cut than stacking the apples.
That seems more possible than turning the knife 90 degrees mid-cut
Bingo
Yall just cut straight down with your knives? You dont angle the blade and slide it ?
Take both apples and attach them to a drill. Position the knife on apples so that it starts slicing a long slice as they rotate and run the drill. You’ll end up with a long piece of 2 apples and 2 cores. Keep the long peels, give each core to each one of those peasants.
Apple’s aren’t square so it’s not so easy to figure out where to cut that will give you a 1/3 - 2/3 split.
If the knife is long enough, you could simply line the apples up and do that.
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Luigi says [ Removed by Reddit ]
Luigi says: Just imagine one of the others is a Healthcare insurance CEO, you know what to do.
I will be the cpt obv
1/3 1/3
<=======]==o
2/3 2/3
Ok but like how do you know it’s 1/3 of the apple without any other tools.
Let’s not go too deep on this alright
Right… right… but https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Envy-free_cake-cutting
if the cake is a 1-dimensional interval …
The Stromquist moving-knives procedure uses four simultaneously-moving knives…Consider a spherical cow perched above a black hole, facing the sunset…
I did not expect to see this today
To put that in perspective, for 2 people that would be ~4.3 billion
alright we better get started then
It’s just the upper bound. I have no idea what the process is lol.
Cut first, choose last. It’s as fair as you can get when eyeballing it
Only works with two people. For three you use Selfridge-Conway procedure which uses up to five cuts.
What’s funny is that you’ve actually stumbled onto an entire problem that’s studied quite heavily. I remembered a Numberphile video about this. The problem is called “envy-free cake splitting”. It’s pretty straightforward. A split is envy-free if no one believes someone else got more than them. For three people this was figured out in 1960 and you can read about it here. It has been solved for N participants as well and you can read about the general problem here.
For two people, it’s obvious. One splits and one chooses. The first person is incentivized to make it even because they don’t know which they’ll get.
I was going to give a summary of the process for three people but it’s too much to explain succinctly. Just check the article I posted lol.
How is it obvious for two people, what if I have horrible manual dexterity and despite my best efforts, I slice the cake like 1/3 and 2/3, and the other person picks the bigger piece? I would very much envy the other piece
Your “cut” would not be complete until you believe you’ve made them 50/50.
here we go infinite cuts
Then have them cut and you choose. Easy. Now they envy your piece and having better dexterity as well.
Insert Thanos balanced meme here.
it is a magical long sword of apple slicing (+5 damage and THAC0 against apples, +1 otherwise)
You don’t, you only know it’s possible to do so thanks to the Ham sandwich theorem
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What I find particoularly annoying and interesting, is that most of those “silly/dumb” social network questions are engineered with at least 2, sometimes more layers, for the purpose of getting a reaction not really from the “dumb people” but also, possibly mostly, from the smartass that can’t help point out something they think they noticed, incongruity and the likes, unaware that those are there on purpose to bait them in.
This case is a lot more blatant, possibly fake, but the “controversial” interpretation of stabbing one of the children is not an afterthoughts of the sick mind of us memers terminally online, it’s probably the core reason the thing has been shared and worded that way.
I just hope my own reaction has not been 100% predicted.
With no snark intended I’m pretty sure thatsthejoke.jpg.
no. the meme was created to make you think of stabbing people, with engagement bait paired in. op adds the awkward puppet meme, as if it’s a novel idea, but thatsthejoke.xls
the above commenter is pointing out how this kind of engagement just falls for the engagement bait, and describes the type of person who would do so
Ah fair!
Oh god, you reminded me of those “memes” that are just someone on Twitter getting simple math wrong. Reddit was full of that crap and it seems it hasn’t quite reached Lemmy yet, but it might.
Line em up and cut a third off both apples in one go? Everyone gets 2/3? Seems simple right? Consider the core. I don’t think it’s possible if you consider the core. You have to kill one of your friends.
You have to kill one of your friends.
You have to kill one of your friends.
Choose which one of your friends to kill.
Reach for the knife before someone else does.
You have to kill one of your friends.
Or you could sacrifice yourself, you murderous bastard.
But then I would be dead.
Michael: See, the trolley problem forces you to choose between two versions of letting other people die. And the actual solution is very simple. Sacrifice yourself.
– The Good Place
Rotate each apple 90 degrees so that core is parallel to the ground and perpendicular to the knife, now its split equally
If more than one person hates the stem part then yea it’s murder time
The core isn’t evenly distributed along the axis though, it’s like a small thingy in the center. Definitely murder time
This is actually the sandwich problem, which states there is exactly one slice that will split a sandwich of 3 elements into exactly 2 halves regardless of the shape or position of those elements. We don’t need the full proof, but the problem is continuous, so any desired ratio is possible, therefore you will always be able to slice an apple into exactly 1/3 and 2/3rds “good bits”, so a single slice will always be able to do the job.
I still struggle to visualize it. If we have two concentric spheres (or circles), how can you make a cut that slices both into ratios of 2/3 by volume/area?
diagonals
Killing one of your friends might not be the optimal solution.
But one of your friends might think it is.
Cut 1/3 up from the top or bottom?
(the apples! Cut the apples!)
If you have one guy draw the knife over a long surface and distance, the other two can use that one slicing motion to cut the apples any number of times.
ONE STROKE, 99 cuts!
ONE STROKE, 99 cuts!
Like shaving with an old razor blade.
I got 99 cuts, but a stroke ain’t one
That’s socialist propaganda! You see, you cut both apples in half with one cut, everyone gets half an apple and the remaining half is given to someone who struggles affording life.
(/s)
My solution is cut both apples in half, and take two halves, because I am more equal than others.
Some animals are more equal than others…
Cut both apples into 10 slices each. And then, the richest person takes 18 slices. Because that’s how capitalism works, baby.
Kill one person?
If your stroke is good enough you don’t have to share the two apples with anyone.
There are multiple kinds of strokes which will ensure you don’t have to share (including a medical one that removes you)
Bold of you to assume I’m not going to go Voorhees on both of them, have an apple as desert and save the second apple for later.
Obviously, I’m not going to eat the other two people. Without cooking them. And with the apple cores, I can make a lovely sauce to go with
Just cut them right down the middle. Four slices each person takes one and the last is left to rot. It says share equally not share the entire apple
Cut both apples in half. One half for the blonde, one half for brownie, one half for the ginger, and the last half for the animals or something.
Last half for the painter of this picture.
:D
I guess the answer they are going for is slice the apples straight through, horizontally, 1/3 the way up from the bottom, so you have 2/3, 1/3, 2/3, and 1/3 apple portions. Then you give 1 person the 2 1/3 portions, and the other 2 get one of the 2/3 portions each.
But we all know the actual answer people are thinking of
You can cut them just like they are on the table - lop off the outer 1/3 of both the two as they sit. Two people each get 2/3 of an apple including the core, and one person gets two 1/3 apple slices.
But yes, it wants you to suggest killing one of the kids for sure. :)
But that wouldn’t be one stroke would it? Unless I’m imagining it wrong.
Please forgive my crude approximation of an overhead view of the apples and knife.😁
Edited to add the stem area of the apples for greater clarity.
You have a lovely pair of… apples
Although I now see it too, I assure you with absolute sincerity that I really was trying to create an overhead view of two apples being sliced with one stroke.
Of course you were 😉
LOL I know further assurances will just look even worse so I’ll stop here. 😂
😂🤣
