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Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 8 个月前

Guaranteed NO ONE ever used this on their face

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Guaranteed NO ONE ever used this on their face

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Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 8 个月前
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  • Kami@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    8 个月前

    Enjoy the benefits of a cordless massager that gives a gentle penetrating massage

    They totally knew what they were doing.

    • danekrae@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      7 inches long. Sturdy high impact plastic.

      That’s what everybody asks about when buying products for their face.

      • RandomStickman@fedia.io
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        8 个月前

        eyes, brows, chin, and other parts of the body

        • Hupf@feddit.org
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          8 个月前

          Be careful, some might misuse this as a sex toy.

  • ReCursing@feddit.uk
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    8 个月前

    I have to massage my face due to nerve damage. I bought a massage gun but it is too violent, so I am seriously considering buyijg a cheap sex toy specifically to massage my face!

    …but I may be the only one

    • dickalan@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      Even ones with an adjustable dial are too rough? First off I’m sorry you have nerve damage that sucks second off. I hope the hand dildo works.

    • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      I use an intimate vibrator on my face occasionally to loose up my sinuses. Just give it a good wash before and after; there’s nothing wrong with it.

      • 𝔄 𝔰𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔭𝔦𝔢𝔠𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔢𝔰𝔢@lemmy.world
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        8 个月前

        Oh my God that is such a great idea

      • Swedneck
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        8 个月前

        “hey honey can you- what the fuck”

      • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world
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        8 个月前

        Does it work?

        • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world
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          8 个月前

          Not -always- but when things are really goopy and not going anywhere I can vibe for a couple of minutes until it’s looser and then blow my nose and get my allergy spray in. It’s a nasal spray so I need any room in there to get the meds in. I rub it mostly on my upper cheeks and nose and a little on my forehead.

          • Whelks_chance@lemmy.world
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            8 个月前

            Good idea. I may try it myself during allergy season.

    • Swedneck
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      8 个月前

      what about, like, a regular-ass electric toothbrush?

      • ReCursing@feddit.uk
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        8 个月前

        Not a bad call, actually

    • cokeslutgarbage@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      I use my vibrator on my neck sometimes when I have a migraine, it works really well.

    • tpyo@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      I advise not to go “cheap” and make sure you get something body safe. (Cheap toys could be made with harmful materials.) Honestly if you go to a sex shop and explain what the need is, they’ll be more than happy to guide you to toys that have the vibrations you need. There’s buzzy or rumbly types and come in a huge range of strengths and textures

      Seriously, they’d be ecstatic to help! And you would absolutely not be the only one

      Unsolicited recommendation?:
      I’m not sure what you need specifically, but something like this might work? https://lovecrave.com/products/vesper It’s small and you can use the tip for pinpoint or the length of it for a larger area. It is rumbly, surprisingly so for such a small device, and has different strengths (and patterns), and doesn’t look like a sex toy

    • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8 个月前

      Get a We-Vibe Touch! It’s got a silicone exterior and it goes from little vibrations to fairly strong.

      • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world
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        8 个月前

        That’s super pricey for this. Any $15 vibe from Amazon will do.

        • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          8 个月前

          That’s fair. I have one for other things and I love it very much.

          • hedgehogging_the_bed@lemmy.world
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            8 个月前

            I have a WeVibe Tango and have loved it for a very long time.

            • Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              8 个月前

              I have a tango as well! They’re excellent toys!

    • loomy@lemy.lol
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      deleted by creator

      • ReCursing@feddit.uk
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        8 个月前

        Perhaps the most American statement…

        But no, the massage gun was definitely too violent for what I need for my face

        • loomy@lemy.lol
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          deleted by creator

  • KingPorkChop@lemmy.ca
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    8 个月前

    I gave one of these to my girlfriend the day before I had to go away on business for 2 months.

    She said “What is this for?”

    I said “It’s a replacement for my you-know-what.”

    She said “Oh, ok. I think I get it.”

    I got home 2 months later and she had 3 chipped teeth.

    • big_slap@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

    • GreenKnight23@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      1000001701

  • Kaput@lemmy.world
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    8 个月前

    I almost bought one as a Christmas present for my mom when I was ten. The last in the catalogue was holding it to her shoulder… I’m so glad I picked the brass penguin instead.

  • ColeSloth
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    8 个月前

    Yeah, but when I was a kid back in the 80’s and saw them in the mail order catalogs, I completely believed they were just head and neck massagers.

    • surewhynotlem@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      They can be. Just keep a good grip on the base. You don’t want to choke.

  • FartsWithAnAccent@fedia.io
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    8 个月前

    massage in cream

    You don’t say…

  • Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    8 个月前

    What’s the bet that the “sturdy high impact plastic” isn’t body safe?

    • tpyo@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      Is there a percentage higher than 100?

    • BreadOven@lemmy.world
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      8 个月前

      It doesn’t release microplastics, it releases macroplastics.

  • PTSDwarrior@lemmy.ml
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    8 个月前

    Reminds me of the Adult Swim ad for salad tossers that looked suspiciously like…a tool that really gives women pleasure. And here it is: Salad Mixxxer

  • FelixCress@lemmy.world
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    8 个月前

    I am pretty sure some did, after.

    • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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      8 个月前

      🤣

  • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
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    8 个月前

    Careful though, it doesn’t have a flared base.

  • mastod0n@lemmy.world
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    8 个月前

    It never was intended as a “face massager”.

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