i have some good men in my life, but it still doesn’t help. my reasons for hating are probably a little strange, and I can’t even discuss it with anyone without being told to go to hell, and I have to deal with it on my own.
Alina, as a black man here who is feeling the same feelings about white people overall, you’ve got to fight it. My best friends are white and for the longest time bitterness was consuming me. Felt good to recently reconnect with them and realize I need to step back and realize despite what Trump is doing, not all white people are complicit and fucked up.
You may have to do the same for whatever is making you hate men.
Devolution, here, gave the best wisdom+understanding of all the one’s who’ve spoken, that I can see.
I don’t match this-current-world, particularly.
My soul’s previous-human-life lived in a monastery, in the Himalays.
I didn’t know that for decades.
but kept trying to find my “home”…
The culture-difference between North American culture vs some Himalayan Buddhist monastery of centuries-ago…
it’s like everybody’s alien to what my “home” is, & I’m as “alien” to normals, as they are to me.
The reason this may matter, is simply that IF one finds one cannot tolerate the cultural-prejudice in one’s local population,
then it may mean one needs to be associating with some people of a different culture?
Different age, some people in old-folks’ homes are neat,
different religion, try finding a Sikh who has values you love, perhaps, as an honest friend…
or find historical men who had something in them that you value greatly, if you can.
Charles Darwin’s anti-slavery I admire, especially since it was in the midst of the empire doing the slaving: he had guts.
Martin Luther King, Jr… was incredible in what he improved, among our world.
I couldn’t have meshed with him at all, but what world-treasure he contributed, in his own way.
More & more & more I’m learning that EVERY person I find who looks like they could be a hero … all of them … were flawed in profound ways.
Which means they’re human, as I am, as others are…
Rooseveldt … seemed such a hero, until I read his vicious racism.
Churchill, too.
Newton doesn’t seem to have been a particularly awesome guy in many ways: scientifically awesome, but … not humanly…
More & more & more it’s only people like the Hindus Ramana Maharshi, or Ramakrishna Vivekananda, or the Buddhists who simply go on-retreat & … never return, … whom I’m finding to be the people I value, treasure, admire, & want to become more like.
The world & I are … incompatible, tbh.
& that’s fine.
I’ve certainly learned much more this-way than this-life ever could have, if it had been born into what it already-knew!
All this to say:
please search-out the exceptions, & earn relationship of some ( mental, e.g. ) kind.
I discovered, some years ago, that because I live more in books, that the minds I am holding to be my friends, are minds like Simon Sinek ( see his TED Talk, e.g. )…
Best-of-breed books of understandings.
Not normal-people.
Also, not the-whole-author, only the well-crafted/well-edited portion of them!
So, the minds I have been associating are NOT like what normal people spend time with, in cafes, in TV, in bars, etc…
which is why I evolve more ( the adamant intolerance I have for “me” is a goad, but without the better-frame-of-reference, that goad wouldn’t accomplish anything, but people evolve to match their context! Want to evolve more? Put your awareness in better-context! Simple rule, can’t understand why so many won’t use it… )…
& there’s this, too:
IF you ask LivingSpirit, with your whole meaning, & let it do its thing, THEN it’ll provide answer, eventually.
The trick to that is that one has to ask coherently, intentionally-meaning-it carefully, so one’s unconscious-mind doesn’t screw it up, one has to let-go & trust LivingSpirit to do its answering its-own-way, AND one has to let it happen at LivingSpirit’s soul-evolution pace, instead of holding-onto today-ego’s pace.
I’m not asking you to like, or even not-hate, men/males.
I’m asking you to find friends in good nonfiction-books, books made of honest thinking, & let that be part of your frame-of-reference, too.
Simply by including a set of people outside of the set who are in some way bullying your validity/worth/potential/opportunity… you can get healthier meaning/balance/frame-of-reference in your life.
For your-life’s sake, see?
Ah, if there’s a particular culture which has hurt/wounded/persecuted/harmed you, & it’s no-longer possible to engage them, because ANY engaging them opens all the old wounds…
get experiencing other cultures’ people, if you can.
You know the truth that “on the internet, nobody knows that you’re actually your grandmother’s poodle!”?
The cultures, including racist, that exist on the internet, aren’t dependent on skin-color: they’re cultures, not skin-colors/“races”.
That proved, decades ago, that racism is culture+identity and NOT rooted in appearances.
Appearances are only the “anchor” for the culture/identity.
Get away from the culture that harmed you, so you can heal.
Once I realized that it’s cultural-alienation which is the factionalizing-force among us, then it dawned on me that we need to be putting subsets of our culture out there to be including others into.
Imagine a world where some whites could spend Kwanzaa immersing themselves in understanding it, honestly, as a means of enriching their lives…
Imagine a world where some non-Lebanese could spend a couple weeks immersing themselves in Lebanese culture, & finding some things that each individual grows with, for making their humanness more whole…
Imagine a world where this kind of cultural-inclusive-sharing were normal, & it was just normal for people to eclectically absorb stuff from all sorts of cultures, from the tropics to the arctic, because that is just how we do things…
That would erase racism-prejudice, through a few generations…
The cultural-segregation amplifes prejudice, it seems.
& I mean that in all directions: male-culture’s prejudice/toxicity is multiplied by its segregation: if more males had the balls to intentionally experience+understand female-culture’s wealth/gifts, & take some of them back into male lives, then our world would be richer…
instead … male-bullying’s normal, to “protect” exclusive-maleness…
A few decades ago, I learned that in-relationship, one has many times as many realizations per day, as one does not-in-relationship.
I’ve also learned that frame-of-reference compatibility, & values-compatibility, are bedrock, & if you can’t match them with anyone, then … don’t get into relationship.
That can be true of entire-cultures, too.
There are multiple cultures which hold that physicalism, or ritual, or tradition, or authority, is the LORD, & it isn’t sane to hold any reality could ever question that axiom/assumption!!
& the more I avoid engaging them, the better.
If you’ve reached the point where a particular culture is only abuse of your-meaning… please consider getting away from that-culture, for your life’s sake?
May something in this be useful for you, or anyone.
_ /\ _
Are you fighting your hatred of the slavs too?
Whatever you are going through doesn’t sound like it’s good mental health. Talk to a professional who won’t judge your thoughts.
Just like anything, if it becomes enough of a problem that it’s affecting your daily life, then you need to talk to someone.
Having a problem or issue that you can’t resolve by yourself isn’t a weakness or a failing, but it is your responsibility to find a way to make it better or improve it. Talking to someone is the first step in doing that.
Tell us your reasons then, if they are so strange. Don’t be coy.
i’ve already tried to discuss my problems, and these people takе screenshots of it and send it under my posts as proof that I’m a bad person and deserve to suffer.
I scanned your post history and I didn’t see much that seemed connected to this post at all except that you don’t like what you’ve seen men post online. And that wasn’t explained in great detail either. I just am confused and curious I suppose, but if you don’t feel like saying, I don’t know what to tell you.
That post was about a different topic and it’s been deleted. I have a lot of problems that I can’t discuss with anyone.
As one of your disliked, I am able to relate. I don’t like us either.
I hope you’re able to weed us out of your life enough to have it not negatively effect you.
🤡
I assume you’re a woman, but it doesn’t really matter.
As a man myself, I find the majority of men I interact with annoying. So I think I kinda know how you feel.
It’s good that you have some good men in your life. But if that’s not helping then it might be better to just minimize interactions with them as much as possible (without alienating the good ones). It’s like if you have a food allergy, it’s easier to just avoid that food. Hell, maybe you’re allergic to men! lol
Had this conversation with a coworker once. She just wanted to be friends with men at this point in her life and She was frustrated that every guy that wants to be her friend is just trying to bang her. For her, all the decent males were the only ones were not trying to get in her knickers but they were also indifferent to her fueling her negative state of mind.
Easier said than done as anger provides false clarity but try to keep what’s upsetting you grounded in truth and find ppl who will try to do the same.
I mean like all forms of hatred and bigotry, misandry is a you problem that you need to deal with.
Whatever your problems with men are, it’s a generalization. And if you aren’t even willing to say what those reasons are, they probably suck, and you’re probably redirecting internalized anger and self hatred at a convenient group.
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