Hang out. Chat. Talk about what’s going on. Have fun :3

  • Sopje@hexbear.net
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    8 months ago

    I’m coming out to y’all today as trans femboy. Might still change as I’m still working on my identity development but that’s what feels right atm

    trans-hatch

  • SexUnderSocialism [she/her]@hexbear.netM
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    8 months ago

    Every fucking time there’s an article on trans athletes, cis people just have to display their complete fucking ignorance and will either spread misinformation or act “concerned” (even on this very website) when plenty of research has been done on the topic to conclude that it’s a complete fucking non-issue. This discussion should’ve been moot years ago, but apparently it isn’t. It’s the one transphobic culture war battle that even so called “allies” keep falling for. Fucking tiresome.

  • queermunist she/her@lemmy.ml
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    8 months ago

    My last (maybe) laser appointment is this Wednesday! Excitement! 😁

    I think I’ll also get a veggie sub with avocado that day instead of making lunch.

  • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    8 months ago

    I hate shaving. this is not a request for help/advice, I’ve tried many different types of razor and many different techniques, it’s just a complaint about how bad shaving is.

    it’s like, facial hair giving you dysphoria? well, you’re gonna have to shave it off or pay out the ass for laser or electrolysis! also shaving’s gonna leave a bit of stubble, as a treat, so you’ll always feel a little man-coded.

    I’m currently in month 2 of using a braun IPL 1-2x/week on my torso and face, with minimal thinning to my facial hair but my chest hair significantly thinned and softened. I’m hoping the facial hair is just gonna take a bit longer. I also need to start on my lower half and maybe my arms but shaving down there is such a pain when you’re 6’6"/2m tall and not terribly flexible…

    my body is too manly for me to ignore the hair but I’m too much of a dyke to want to deal with the hair, why must beauty be pain and take hours out of my life every goddamn week.

  • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.net
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    8 months ago

    Inside me, there are two wolves…

    The first says, "become the antagonistic dyke that you are. Cut your hair shortish and weirdlike, and dye it blue and pink or something’. The other wolf is my ten years’ progress of growing my hair out. It’s long enough to go just past my ass now and it’s incredible, but the urge to do something funny with it arises when it causes sensory issues, or gets caught under my wife or something.

    Really I wanna be able to swap on the fly…

    • AutomatedPossum [she/her]@hexbear.net
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      8 months ago

      ngl after 3 years of growing my hair out and barely getting it down most of my shoulder blades, i’m jealous of this, but i also relate hard to the wish for more antagonistic dykeness

    • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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      8 months ago

      I listened to the first voice and I’m mostly happy with it. I definitely lost the instant femininity buff of mid-back-length hair, but also anyone reading my brightly colored hair and shullet as manly isn’t worth my cares anyways.

      plus it’s pretty cool to have the haircut I picked as being fem-yet-dykish vindicated by Kristen Stewart having the same haircut in that new A24 lesbian movie, Love Lies Bleeding (which I’m definitely going to watch soon™).

      but definitely do your own thing! sacrificing several years’ growth for the sake of a crazy haircut is certainly a big choice; I just wanted to let you know it’s possible to come out the other side and still feel pretty damn feminine.

      • ashinadash [she/her]@hexbear.net
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        8 months ago

        Noooooo my instant femininity buff cri why does hair length even affect this, gender is a fucking psyop cri

        Part of the issue too is, whenever I suggest this people go “NNNNNOOOOOO BUT YOUR NATURAL HAIR IS SO PWETTY” which yes, it is, but Idk sometimes…

        • lapis [fae/faer, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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          8 months ago

          why does hair length even affect this, gender is a fucking psyop

          I mean, for me in particular, it’s partially loss of hair length and partially the fact I went for an aggressive side fade, which is either masc- or dyke-coded, depending how you look at it. but yeah it’s bullshit that, like, long hair is feminine and short hair is masculine.

          it’s also worth noting that as an enby I don’t particularly want to be read as a woman, but it’s complicated bc, as a transfem enby, I’d absolutely rather be read as a woman than as a man. like if people are gonna misgender me I’d rather it be away from my AGAB, if that makes sense?

          NNNNNOOOOOO BUT YOUR NATURAL HAIR IS SO PWETTY

          yo literally same, comments since cut + dye have basically been a split between “yo that’s fucking awesome” and “noooo your hair was so beautiful and full” – but like, the first option is mostly from fellow queers and the second is mostly from straights, which makes me feel vindicated as hell.

    • Maoo [none/use name]@hexbear.net
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      8 months ago

      It’s not a perfect solution but you could get a wig if you get a short cut! Swapping is possible! You can even get a wig made from your own hair.

    • bubbalu [they/them]@hexbear.net
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      8 months ago

      You can always do strange things with braiding and hair jewelry! There are dykes and butches with medium and long hair. For example the protagonist from Bound is an antagonistic butch with shorter-medium hair. It’s not buzzed or anything!

  • good_girl [she/her, they/them]@hexbear.net
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    8 months ago

    Been coming out to my friend group slowly.

    Came out to the one friend that I can depend on being sensitive to queer issues first, turns out he’s also NB/trans. Tho it seems like I might have been the only one who didn’t already know?

    Then I came out to my oldest friend and he was way more sensitive to it than I ever imagined, which makes me think that I’m underestimating my friends on this.

    After the second friend I’ve started to feel way more comfortable talking about trans things openly; both to these two friends and to my girlfriend.

    On another note, I ended up asking my endo to swap me to estradiol injections. BIG MISTAKE- my estradiol pills cost $30 for 200… 5ml of estradiol cost me 164 usd because IT WASN’T COVERED BY INSURANCE AHHHHH.

    The pills would last me about 2 months at 3 pills/day, the injections are gonna last me 6 months at 1 injection every two weeks so it’s not terrible but now I have to pray I don’t have any bills over $70 in the next 4 days until I get paid.

    Fuck.

    Also found out one of my cishet friends that had been dating around, has specifically been looking on grindr for trans girls. I really don’t know how to feel about this. From another friend, he apparently self-id’d as a chaser. Although this friend is autistic so I’m not entirely sure if he is aware of the full weight of what that means or not.

    • SnowySkyes [she/her]@hexbear.netOPM
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      8 months ago

      In regards to your estradiol. Check to see if your pharmacy is trying to give you name brand name over generic for injections. My pharmacy was trying to do this because they didn’t carry the specific potency (10mg/mL) in the generic. They attempted to give me the name brand and my insurance didn’t cover it. I then asked my endo to prescribe half the dose at the 20mg/mL potency and was then able to get the generic very cheap. Dunno if this would be an option, but it’s worth exploring.

  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    8 months ago

    I kinda massively slowed down on taking selfies? Idk I’ve been super stressed over the last 2 weeks honestly. Also my dysphoria is significantly lower and I’m kinda starting to question if I’m even trans? That being said I basically dress fem as much as possible and am on estrogen and my T is pretty suppressed… all things that would reduce my dysphoria so maybe it’s working?

  • CommieGabredabok [he/him, comrade/them]@hexbear.net
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    8 months ago

    It’s fucking with my head. Before I started questioning my gender, I found all the progressive spaces that were for queer liberation.

    Now that I’ve started to question gender, I’ve been stumbling across all sorts of queerphobic “communist” spaces: from irl parties, to telegram, discord, and “friends.” It really pisses me off, and I get interrogated about “being a liberal.”

    on a side note: does anybody have any info on how to figure out if your trans or an egg or cis or anything?