He’s the perfect pick. Grown in a lab just for this moment:
White, handsome, accomplished astronaut, unknown politics, and he defuses the Trump assassination attempt narrative.
It’s the third time I’ve seen something about Kelly on social media in the last day. Which is weird, since I didn’t know he existed until today.
i dont really know how these names float up but i do remember mark kelly and the gabby giffords assassination attempt. I would guess reddit likes him because hes an astronaut and because of the assassination attempt.
idk about handsome though my man looks like dr phil
I knew him as one of the Astronaut twins and had no idea he was a politician. Him and his brother were the ones chosen for the Twins Study which was kinda neat. Scott stayed in space for a year and they had them on the same diet and exercise routine to see what the effects of long term exposure to zero G would be.
Credit wher it’s due, that’s legit cool and good.
Yeah, he actually did something unlike most empty suits they put forward. Also worked closely with “enemy states” being on the ISS and all
Here he looks like John Carroll Lynch in Fargo
It’s Tim Kain all over again
Some unflavored ice milk politician from Skeetleblap, MZ who really understands the heart of America
Tim Kaine called for the US to unilaterally recognize a Palestinian state a few days ago, and he’s the first senator to do so. He outflanked Bernie from a the left on Palestine.
Hahahahahahah I hate this fucking place.
this fucking countryMr. Kaine, sir? Welcome to the resistance
Comrade Covid Brain Damage, I was wrong about you.
god damn, Bernie is such a disgraceful coward. did they threaten to kill all of his grandchildren or what
The grandkids’ nanny:
He has more on Tim Kain in that he was an astronaut
I wonder what Trump is going to call him
Moon man?
Space case?
There’s options here
Space Cadet would be a good one
The president who created the US Space Force might be in a uniquely week position on that front. Easier to just call him Baldy.
Remember how everyone thought the Space Force was unnecessary we shouldn’t have it to the point where they made a Netflix show about how bad of an idea it was?
I just had a Space Force recruiter approach me outside of the gym
It’s normal now, people like it
Trump will probably make fun of Kelly for not being in the Space Force
You’re telling me that the military didn’t turn away more funding and administrative bloat? I’m shocked.
“Our mission is to defend satellites from attack.”
“How?”
I have no idea. He seems to be at a loss at the moment as for what to call his enemies now.
My libs are making a great deal of this, claiming that Trump had no plan for Biden stepping down and will now lose because this is somehow a crippling blow to his campaign. Yeah, sure, maybe, but also how do you maintain that level of cope for so long? idfk, libs are awful.
I know I’m almost certainly wrong here, but for some reason I feel like attacking an astronaut whose wife got shot by a deranged right wing crank especially after Trump just got shot at could really backfire for him. He got away with going after McCain because even Average American kind of knows subconsciously that the Vietnam War was a horrible debacle and that kissing the ass of an admiral’s pilot failson that repeatedly crashed and got shot down on a mission he volunteered for to bomb a civilian lightbulb factory is bullshit.
It’s the same reason Trump was able to weather the hit in the 2016 primaries of having the entire media turn on him when crossed the red line of admitting the Iraq War was a disaster that never should have happened and gave Jeb a wedgie and said W was a fuckup that let 9/11 happen, even flag waving Republican primary voters implicitly had metabolized that Iraq and the GWoT were bullshit make-work projects for the MiC that left millions dead/displaced/maimed/traumatized.
I feel like Average American isn’t nearly as soured against astronauts as they are against the military, and Mark Kelly is so perfectly bland that I feel like there isn’t really a handhold for Trump to dig in against him with some nickname or scandal narrative. Did Trump ever even bother going after Tim Kaine in 2016? Literally the only thing I remember about that guy is he was an anti-abortion Democrat and he plays the harmonica.
Mark Kelly
Kirk MallyLife in America is feeling reflexive hatred and disgust when certain politicians are named, but whatever they did was so long ago you can’t remember.
He seems like a hell of a fallen coconut to choose, but then again I haven’t truly been unburdened by what has been.
The “Expressed Views” section of her attacker’s Wikipedia page is wild.
He’s like a bullied diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic (after the attack to be incompetent for trial) extremist anfash militant atheist government & passionate Bush hater, who is not anti-semitic according to the ADL, hates god but is part of Christian anti-abortion groups. The NWO and government brainwash people, money is worthless without gold backing and NASA fakes space flights and something something 9/11, 2012 apocalypse.
Quote: he ‘possessed a “toxic jumble of left- and right-wing conspiracy theories, his sources ranging from Marx to Hitler to heavy metal.”’
Totally just your average centrist, you guys.
Apparently he got mad at her for not sufficiently answering his question: “What is government if words have no meaning?”
Most coherent American
Huh, I had no idea Mark Kelly was Gabby Giffords’ husband
But anyway, I think Andrew Beshear is the most likely pick
Hmm, so as not to scare southern whites, the Dems need a white politician for VP, ideally with a history of racism. They also are going to want someone whose political career is waning, so that they’re not just king-making for 2032. I suggest Joseph Robinette Biden.
Mark Kelly doesn’t have the nasty past that made Joe Biden so appealing to the party in 2008, but the military & astronaut background certainly makes up for it. Could definitely see him getting the nom.
Andrew Beshear seems too young (for my gauge of what the DNC would want). And he’s moderate on gun control (which would be a good thing if the Dems were actually trying to court Rs rather than acting as the pawl) but gun control has been the bread and butter for ages so I think he’d be a hard sell.
Going through the list of long-serving congresscritters & Dem elder-statesmen:
Ed Markey fits the Biden bill from 2008, long-serving Dem politician, but is probably too progressive.
Al Gore would be hilarious, but then we’d have to address climate change and that makes capitalists sad.
noHilary would take the VP spot just for the chance to off Kamala, and also would lose to trump again which is funny.
Chuck Schumer is slimy enough to fit the bill and play the party’s internal politics right, but I imagine he’d like to just stay as majority leader so he doesn’t get tarnished if the ticket loses.
Steny Hoyer’s out, can’t go older than Biden.
I know absolutely nothing about Ron Wyden, like I swear I’ve never heard this name or seen his guy before, but two west-coasters on the same ticket is probably bad optics or something.
I could see Dick Durbin. I don’t see any unchecked boxes or immediate disqualifiers there.
Actually, speaking of Illinois, I could see JB Pritzker too, easily. Easier, actually. Hadn’t really thought about governors. The no-king-making & waning political career arguments still hold because the dude looks like the Wikipedia picture for congestive heart failure (no body shaming intended, he’s still very politician-photogenic). (Of course, much like Biden, he could easily hold on and become a shitty candidate later after all). And having a billionaire on the ticket against Trump would be funny to the libs. And would put the capitalist class greatly at ease. I might need to put betting money on Pritzker.
Continuing down the governor path, Martin O’Malley has that “tried and failed to be president” vibe that Biden brought in 2008, though it might be too recent for comfort.
Which, actually, taking into consideration Aaron-Sorkin west-wing politics-is-about-feel-good-optics “choose Mitt” bullshit brain, Larry Hogan would be the “we’re going to reach across the aisle and do what’s best for the country” / “we need to get Republicans to vote for us” choice in my book. Same “blue state republican” energy as Mitt, without risking people remembering when voting against him was the most important election ever.
Oh, I should have checked the betting odds sites, could have saved myself a lot of typing.
Roy Cooper has the lead there, which makes sense, southern Dem fo court the southern Dems, same age as Biden was in 2008, term-limited as governor.
Josh Shapiro…maybe? He hasn’t been in office that long, he’s not term limited, he’s younger than Kamala, they’d be throwing a pretty big curveball from the previous playbook. Not that I’d rule it out, Kamala’s not as young as Barack was in 2008, so they don’t necessarily need to rob the grave to balance out the ticket. Honestly, I fucking hope it’s not him, because “Israel not only has a right, they have a responsibility to rid the region of Hamas and the terror that Hamas can perpetrate”. Fuck.
Edit: And he’s from Pennsylvania so they’d presumably get a much needed bump there. Fuck.
As weird as this guy is, I would prefer him over a turbo Zionazi like Josh Shapiro, which is another name I keep hearing come up.
Edit 7/24: I take this back, Mark Kelly is just as bad.
My money is on Bashear.
My money is on Bashar
yeah hes mayo af and appeals to many christians who arent full on trumpers
