Inspired by this dorky exchange I had, thank u BountifulEggnog.
I want to know what your gender means to you, how you define it, what it means for you to “be” that gender and how you define it. Don’t fuss about ‘correct definitions’ or anything, this is about your experience, I want to know what it means to you. How you relate to that gender, perceive it.
Genders have a social construction aspect and is very subjective, so I think people’s subjective, personal views of their own are both important and interesting. Inquiring mind wants to know! 
I'll share some of mine I guess.
I was a trans woman until the contradictions sharpened to a razor’s edge after reading Gender Outlaw and The Gender Accelerationist Manifesto. My brain got cracked in half. I have always hated the effects testosterone would have on my body, so estrogen was a given, but while I do identify with certain things that are commonly associated with being a woman… if nothing is inherently gendered, what even is a gender? 
I had a whole little episode about it in the megathread once.
As I went on from there, I realised that while I like certain things about “being a woman”, equally I found I’d been sort of stifled by trying to fit into the social role. The women I have always related to most are the cis autistic women who basically yeet presentation in favour of dressing for sensory comfort. Almost kinda non binary, in a way… The more I interrogated binary gender in relation to myself, the more I dug up stuff like this. Also I didn’t really like that “woman” is associated with cis people a lot, I really like the trans part of my identity, feel a lot of love for it. I’ve felt freer and mentally clearer and truer to myself as a Non Binary Transfem, it’s cool and funny. What does it mean to me? It represents my goofy sometimes-androgynous presentation, my lack of cissie gender, how being neurodiverse influences my view, being a funny noody goblin. Share yours =)
So as some (many??) of you know I am newly hatched and autistic so
I know this isn’t how most people see things and I don’t mind if other people view things differently, do whatever/label yourself however you like. Also I have not so much as even worn girl clothes so, yaknow maybe my understanding will be influenced as I start to transition.
cw for possible brainworms, dysphoria, and envy
I think it is mostly about my physical body and presentation (such as clothes and accessories). I want to look like a woman. I “know” I am a woman in the sense that I want to be a woman. But when I look in the mirror, I do not see a woman. I see a man. With hrt and girl clothes, I hope to feel like a woman. To see one in the mirror. I feel like my pronouns are to reinforce that I am actually perceived as that woman I hope to be/look like. When someone calls me she, it makes me feel happy because I want people to look at my body/clothes and say “yup, that’s a woman”. Honestly, when people misgender me irl I don’t get that upset. It hurts a little bit they don’t see me as a woman, but honestly I don’t see myself as a woman. I very obviously look like a man. I see myself as a future woman, once I transition. If I never got to take hrt/dress fem I would see myself as being a guy. Trapped as a guy. While I use the term “pre transition woman” for myself, I think “trans guy” actually makes more logical sense to me. I am a guy who wishes to transition. Being a woman, to me, is getting hrt and dressing the part. And with that will come being she/her’d, which re-enforces that hrt/clothes are working to make me look like/be a woman.
Basically I am what I “look like”, and I want to look like a woman/inject E directly into my body. This makes/will make me a woman.
I know its very biological brained I’m sorry
edit: oh its a little funny that wearing funny socks would make me feel more like a woman then having a penis makes me feel like a man. Maybe the “biology” is literally just hrt?
Henlo welcome to gebder thenk u hope u enjoy ur stay
This is funny in contrast to me, because there are agender or post gender people here who take hormones to make their bodies more comfortable. Whether or not someone views hormones and the physical aspect as being part of gender… well they’re clearly not inherently gendered, but like maybe as a potential expression of gender? Idk, fascinating.
brainworms
No sorry, good to have this as a reference point so thank u, very literal and utilitarian perspective. And that IS funny about the socks, lol.
It is one of the stays I have had that’s for sure
I just can’t separate it in my brain. Maybe that’ll change with time?
spoiler
No, I’m saying that based on what I see in the mirror. Fuck that doctor (for other reasons). And yes I know its not how everyone else seems to view it
The impression that I’m getting so far is that being trans long enough will cause any individual with a sufficiently decent understanding to fuckin ascend, to truly move from
to 
in terms of being a gender understander.
spoiler
FUCK THAT DOCTOR LFG!! And yeah I know, but also some of that coincidentally resembles terf language, so uh lol. Y’know ✨
Not surprised tbh, I would not be shocked if most autistic people start out with such a literal perspective on it
also they will probably disconnect if they haven’t already. Gender is fuckin fake shit, I changed my sex this past decade.
That’s the dream!
spoiler
Yea I know it does, that’s why I cw’d it. I try very hard not to let this impact how I see other trans people, a lot of it is how I view myself I suppose.
See but how is that different then when I say it. When i feel that way I think people view it negatively. I just don’t understand :ohnoes: gender, sex, and how other people view them is so hard.
spoiler
Uh because “sex” is a bunch of different factors I guess, mental physical chemical whatever else, it’s a whole thing. I don’t view it as binary I guess. To me a trans woman’s sex is female regardless of any other factor. Malleable. It’s like
you know? Shit’s all fake terms dreamed up by scientists who are only describing what they can see.
There’s a negative view of “I changed my sex” as a thing because it feels binary, arbitrary, cisnormative, you know. Kinda stinky. You can use it cool though.