• ChicoSuave@lemmy.world
    1005·
    2 months ago

    The hardest thing to change for 4channers is losing the right wing, authoritarian, hierarchy stuff. Just treat others like asexual, innocent, nice people and they will treat you the same. The problem with 4 chan and most online forums is that the hormone levels behind the keyboard are through the roof and they just want sex. They don’t care about actually fixing or changing themselves - they want to do the minimum required to get laid.

    • Track_Shovel@slrpnk.netOPEnglish
      471·
      2 months ago

      I get it. I was young once, and my lizard brain did all the driving. I didn’t pull my head out of my ass until 27, and the pop could be heard around the globe. That actually coincides with the last cognitive development stage, which happens around 26-27. Life before then seems so unbelievably cringeworthy.

      The thing, though is that men in general do not bond or mentor each other, generally, or at the very least, we don’t surround ourselves with people who we can learn from, because funni.

      Men need to work on helping each other grow. Memes are great. Booze is fun. However, there should be something deeper than context based friendships, and that all starts with being comfortable talking and being somewhat vulnerable with each other, and honest with ourselves about what we are feeling internally.

      • kautau@lemmy.world
        20·
        2 months ago

        I would argue that “men don’t bond” if they were raised on the alpha male bullshit you escaped from on the internet. I met my best friend in high school, we went to college together, and then he moved across the country over 10 years ago. We’re both in our early thirties now. But we chat still nearly every weekend, talk about life, boost each other’s spirits, chat politics, hopes, dreams, regrets, give each other advice based on our individual experiences. We never were part of the “kick each other in the balls = friendship” crowd, and while it’s certainly there, I think that saying generally men all feel that way is a bit disingenuous

      • Rolando@lemmy.world
        22·
        2 months ago

        the last cognitive development stage, which happens around 26-27.

        Wait, what? I don’t think I got the memo on that one. This isn’t some “manosphere” thing, is it?

    • uis@lemm.ee
      2·
      2 months ago

      The problem with 4 chan and most online forums is that the hormone levels behind the keyboard are through the roof and they just want sex. They don’t care about actually fixing or changing themselves - they want to do the minimum required to get laid.

      Sometimes hormone level go so high, that 4channers shart to develop academia-level projects and (presumably) inspire MIT researchers. I talk specifically about PPP from /mlp/, but there is also /chag/.

    • Ogmios@sh.itjust.works
      512·
      2 months ago

      Just treat others like asexual, innocent, nice people

      Okay, but what about REAL people? Not everyone can, or even wants to, live in a fantasy land like you do where bad actors can run roughshod over everybody as long as they put on an asexual, innocent, nice face.

    • Night Monkey@sh.itjust.works
      619·
      2 months ago

      😂 political beliefs have nothing to do with this. If you’re a creep and have the personality of a roll of duct tape you probably won’t attract anybody. Political affiliation or religion has zero to do with any of it. These people are just mental midgets.

  • carl_dungeon@lemmy.worldEnglish
    852·
    2 months ago

    All these incels forget they’re still just assholes from 4chan apart from all the other stuff.

    • S_H_K@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      383·
      2 months ago

      Yeah the guy could work in not viewing success in a vagina access based way. That would help hus personality for sure.

      • WolfdadCigarette@threads.net@sh.itjust.works
        192·
        2 months ago

        When in that state, it’s immensely difficult to understand what exactly is going wrong, let alone fix it. I still remember being an awkward idiot kid confused about my isolation, flailing at shadows and endlessly making a nuisance of myself by reveling in the discomfort my presence bred. Misery one way glass. Hope anon finds someone to pass him notes.

        • whoknewr@lemmy.todayEnglish
          2·
          8 days ago

          ikr!, I’m still on this never-ending journey of self-improvement but I still cannot for the life of me not cringe out from my past self. I have a friend who is dealing with stuff I dealt with, probably worse, and I cannot convince him to change. He literally cannot fanthom that the way he is his problem, which he needs to address instead of blaming everything wrong with his life on others. How do we even help these people?

  • cally [he/they]@pawb.socialEnglish
    66·
    2 months ago

    even though inferior men seem to have no problem doing so

    there’s his problem. thinking of others as inferior (and of yourself as “superior”) is egocentric.

    • midnight_puker@sh.itjust.works
      271·
      2 months ago

      It’s a delicate balance. Swing too far in the other direction and you end up like me, believing you are inferior to everyone.

      • tetris11@lemmy.ml
        34·
        2 months ago

        You’re gonna yo-yo for another 6 years but every swing will be lower than the last, until you finally hit your mid-30s and adopt an “ah fuckit” approach to life.

        • midnight_puker@sh.itjust.works
          11·
          2 months ago

          My yo-yo string just broke when my wife told me she wanted a divorce. The “ah fuckit” is already strong in me. And I’ll be 40 in 6 years.

          • tetris11@lemmy.ml
            4·
            2 months ago

            Ah. You got one of those fancy yoyo’s with disco lights and stuff. Mine just does walk the dog.

          • Samvega@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish
            1·
            1 month ago

            I suggest working on your emotional issues before committing to another relationship. They might be more complex than you imagine. You might think you are depressed, for example, when in reality this is a symptom of being neurodivergent. Accepting yourself for who you are, right now, is necessary, and that requires knowing yourself.

      • someacnt_@lemmy.world
        32·
        2 months ago

        At least you are not actually inferior to others. That’s for me, I am ultimately inferior for real.

  • li10@feddit.ukEnglish
    361·
    2 months ago

    Always going on about height 🙄

    Yes, there are some women who will outright say no due to height, but don’t act holier than thou like you don’t have any physical preferences that you would choose if given the option.

    It’s also not the dealbreaker they think it is most of the time, it’s just cope so they can blame something out of their control and say that it’s women’s fault for being shallow.

    • MutilationWave@lemmy.world
      6·
      2 months ago

      You’re right, but untalls really got the short end of the stick. The most desperate virgin I’ve ever spent time with was 5 foot nothing, fat, ugly as fuck with a fucking haircut that looks like his mom cut it for him.

      Those are a lot of hurdles to jump, but he insisted that he was the most masculine man. Full testosterone top to bottom. He was an absolute creep with women and annoying as fuck to everyone. He was so unaware that he was spouting his conservative bullshit in a park slope bar and he kept laughing at the guy who said he was going to beat his ass. I dragged him out of there.

      He rode a Ducati bike that he had to sit side saddle at red lights because his feet didn’t reach the ground. We worked together on a few jobs but we were in Brooklyn for three months. He’s the most pathetic person I’ve ever met and it fucked with me that he was so happy and upbeat while I was a miserable alcoholic at the time.

    • watersnipje@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      51·
      2 months ago

      Two of my exes were significantly shorter than me, and I think at least half of them were my height or shorter. I don’t give a fuck, height is such an unimportant and arbitrary characteristic. I don’t know many women who care about it.

      But I guess if you’re looking for shallow contact, you’ll find shallow people.