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RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 6 months ago

Trump Locks Bathroom Door So Elon Musk Can’t Follow Him In

theonion.com

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  • fakenews@hexbear.net
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Trump Locks Bathroom Door So Elon Musk Can’t Follow Him In

theonion.com

RmDebArc_5@sh.itjust.works to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish · 6 months ago
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  • fakenews@hexbear.net
PALM BEACH, FL—Admitting that ever since he joined the campaign trail the billionaire tech mogul had refused to leave him alone, President-elect Donald Trump reportedly locked the bathroom door Tuesday so Elon Musk couldn’t follow him in again. “All right, Elon, out,” an audibly frustrated Trump had said moments earlier as he stood up from […]
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  • Blackout@fedia.io
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    Elon looking for more Govt subsidies

    • ERROR: Earth.exe has crashed@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      deleted by creator

      • TheTechnician27@lemmy.world
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        6 months ago

        And because their litterboxes are way nicer than his.

        • Schmoo@slrpnk.net
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          6 months ago

          Isn’t that the litterbox infamous for murdering cats?

          • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world
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            According to this article, no - the door on the bad design closes horizontally. The article actually uses a pic of this very box (or extremely similar) as an example of a “reputable” design. But then again, it also advised people to stop using the bad design, and to talk to their vet (why?!?) about the “next steps to take.” 🤷‍♀️

      • Jivebunny@lemmy.world
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        It’s also because cats have no object permanence, just like Elon

        • humorlessrepost@lemmy.world
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          6 months ago

          Now I’m imagining a cat without object permanence trying to hunt a mouse.

        • John_Blund@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          6 months ago

          Cats do have object permanence though? So cats are in fact; smarter and cuter.

          • Jivebunny@lemmy.world
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            6 months ago

            Yeah that’s right. Was just ranting. Haha. We’re in the onion community

    • tibi@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Mr bean handing toilet paper to man on toilet

    • Robust Mirror@aussie.zone
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      6 months ago

      This is literally my cat when I’m in the bathroom.

  • LeadersAtWork@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Groom_of_the_Stool

    The Groom of the Stool (formally styled: “Groom of the King’s Close Stool”) was the most intimate of an English monarch’s courtiers, initially responsible for assisting the king in excretion and hygiene.

    The physical intimacy of the role naturally led to his becoming a man in whom much confidence was placed by his royal master and with whom many royal secrets were shared as a matter of course.

    The office developed gradually over decades and centuries into one of administration of the royal finances, and under Henry VII, the Groom of the Stool became a powerful official involved in setting national fiscal policy, under the “chamber system”.[1][2]

    • Fuckfuckmyfuckingass@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      National Fecal policy

    • avattar@lemmy.sdf.org
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      6 months ago

      This is Trump we are talking about, so musk’s title is probably more like “Presidential diaper changer”.

      • SanctimoniousApe@lemmings.world
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        This is more info than we EVER needed or wanted to know about Elon’s kinks.

    • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
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      6 months ago

      Heh nice

  • psycho_driver@lemmy.world
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    This just in: Manufacturing efforts at the Tesla factory have been diverted to focus on building a bathroom door lock-picking robot.

    • Glitterbomb@lemmy.world
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      “Musk SLAMS local locksmith, calls him a pedophile for opening the lock first”

  • islands@lemmy.cafe
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    I approve of all this content painting Musk as an invasive little brat who has no boundaries and is desperate to try to buy his way into the cool kids inner circle. Notice me, senpai!

    • bitchkat@lemmy.world
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      6 months ago

      Isn’t that what they used to say about Trump?

  • Nougat@fedia.io
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    This just leaves Musk to scratch at the base of the door and wave his fingers around in the gap beneath the door until Donald finally relents, allowing Musk to enter and curl up in the crotch of Donald’s pants while he’s taking a shit.

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    feels bad about it after a minute and lets him

    • bitchkat@lemmy.world
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      He’s not going to wipe himself.

  • halcyoncmdr@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Oh he doesn’t like being follows into places that are meant to be more private when you’re exposed? Wonder what the various women Trump has admitted walking in on thought about his similar behavior?

  • Flax@feddit.uk
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    This needs to be an article series.

  • ohellidk@sh.itjust.works
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    well somebody’s gotta give him the blumpkin, right?

    • Doom@ttrpg.network
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      And Eric will be damned if anyone else is taking that spot. That’s daddy and Eric time

  • Sam_Bass@lemmy.world
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    Orangetard has enough shit in his pants he doesn’t need anymore

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      Nice. The spelling mistake makes it look like Trump soils pants just before donating them.

  • sunbytes@lemmy.world
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    I cannot wait for what these guys are going to do with infowars.

  • Sibbo@sopuli.xyz
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    Who’s gonna wipe his butt then?

    • corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca
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      Based on trends witht he rest of his staff

      • Trump had someone
      • he probably handled classified shit (heh)
      • either Trump tried to have him killed or he went to jail.

      So he’ll need another. Who’s the judge who’s been cleaning up his smelly messes and isn’t imprisoned?

  • Matthew_Gasoline@lemmy.world
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    6 months ago

    Brings a new meaning to “Closed door meetings”.

  • Queen HawlSera@lemm.ee
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    6 months ago

    I think you made a mistake, this is for satirical pieces.

  • cranakis@reddthat.com
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    6 months ago

    Nah, Trump poops and texts whenever Elon goes into a K-hole. It’s a solid routine. 😆

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