• EP51L0N@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    all of these cliché relationships where people don’t seem to understand basic forms of communication just confuse me. if you feel this way, tell them! If you don’t like something their doing, say something! this isnt highschool; it’s not a guessing game anymore, it’s people.

    • starman2112@sh.itjust.works
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      9 months ago

      It’s always high school. Always has been, always will be. After generations of learning how to interact with each other in romantic contexts from media, what do you expect? Especially when we spend our formative years watching media that’s written to appeal to people in their formative years, you end up with a lot of people acting like poorly written characters because that’s how they learned to interact with each other.

      Not to say that our generation is worse than previous generations, of course. Back then dudes didn’t know how to not hit their wives. Now we just don’t know how to talk. A marked improvement, I’d say

      • Maeve@kbin.social
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        9 months ago

        Back then dudes didn’t know how to not hit their wives.

        A good manny still don’t know, until the wife/gf teach them, usually via reciprocal means. :-/

    • idunnololz@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I’m really glad I was able to develop good communication skills in my life of work. When I just started out I made some pretty bad communication errors and I got to see the effects of the errors and learn from my mistakes.

      Pretty much learned from the start to just never assume anything. If it’s important, say it even if you think the other party knows it already. Because at “worst” you just said something obvious but at best you realize there is a communication gap ASAP.

  • Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works
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    9 months ago

    Bullshit.

    All gamers ever say is shit like “it’s over here!!”, or “I’m here, dude!! Right over HERE.”

    I’ll tell you, once we all find out where “here” is, the gamers will have nothing left to stop them from world domination.

    Alas, the search continues…

    • Artyom@lemm.ee
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      9 months ago

      There are two types of games. There are games where locations are unnamed, and there’s CSGO, where Hog Dog is an extremely specific place.

    • OrekiWoof@lemmy.ml
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      9 months ago

      it’s not a problem in CS at least, just look where he is on the minimap

    • CurlyMoustache@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I played PUBG with a mate of mine back in the day. He was awful at communication. “THERE! I SEE SOMEONE!!”, he would shout into my ear after talking about boring stuff like DnD, which he loves. Then he’d die seconds after, and get pissy because I didn’t help him kill the other player.

    • AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      You’ve never heard Goonswarm Comms. Utter chaos until someone utters the word “Check.” Then we all turn into pilots with complete comms silence except the guy calling for help and the fleet commander that gets to jump in to save the dummy.

    • winky9827b@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Meanwhile, in Dead By Daylight, people have divided all maps in to numbered zones for this shit. Lazy gonna be lazy. Smart gonna be…

  • Swedneck
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    9 months ago

    everyone going on about how gamers can’t communicate for shit, meanwhile deep rock galactic players INSTANTLY agree that the compressed gold must be pinged unceasingly until management shouts at you, with no verbal communication whatsoever.

  • TheBlue22@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    9 months ago

    In houndreds or public matches I’ve played in CS over the years, maybe like 10 had teammates who all actually used callouts

    • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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      9 months ago

      I used to solo-queue almost exclusively. Almost always every teammate communicated. This was like 5+ years ago though, so maybe things have changed. I also frequently initiated the communication and kept things going and didn’t get mad at people, so that all helps too. From my experience, be nice and communicate and general the same will be returned, but against this was a while ago.

      (I’m assuming CS is Counter Strike, and not like competitive multiplayer Cities Skylines or something.)

      • Natanael@slrpnk.net
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        9 months ago

        (I’m assuming CS is Counter Strike, and not like competitive multiplayer Cities Skylines or something.)

        “Natural disaster, meteor from northwest, prepare fire fighters!”

    • A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      I’ve been exclusively queueing Office since CS2 dropped and most people know the call outs. Idk what it is about that particular map. (Dust2 is okay too)

    • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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      9 months ago

      I could never figure out the built in callouts… Anytime I played with the bots in CS:GO, they would always do callouts and I’m pretty sure they’re just baked in, but I have no idea where, or how to use them.

      • Cethin@lemmy.zip
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        9 months ago

        Those are displayed on your minimap. Some of them are used by players, and players will know what you mean anyway, but most position calls by players are different from those. They’re also frequently regional, so there can be many calls for a single position. They’re pretty much always one or two syllables, and usually there’s a few similar ones that appear on many maps. Cat, for example, is any catwalk (the most important one on the map if there are multiple). Heaven/Hell is any raised or lowered area respectively, usually with Hell just below Heaven.

        You just have to listen to people and ask if you don’t know them, maybe also watch some professional matches as the casters also usually use the most common calls for that language.

  • TSG_Asmodeus (he, him)@lemmy.world
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    9 months ago

    As someone who has played ranked FPS’ since… they existed (sigh), and the number of times I had a male teammate throw a tantrum and then refuse to make callouts is… Probably in the hundreds. From QTF to CS to TF2 to Apex…

    During a CAL-im match, Dan? Really, Dan?

    • quinkin@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      Oh yeah, even with friends. Everyone in my discord has had a good sook at the others. “I thought you were with me!” proceed to scatter like cats yet again with everyone ‘leading’

    • A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      QTF

      we got a fossil over here

      (I’m too young to have played Quake when multiplayer was a thing ;-; but I do speedrun it)

        • A_Very_Big_Fan@lemmy.world
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          9 months ago

          I’ve tried it and I had a lot of fun with it at release, but the queue times for matchmaking got unreal (pun intended) pretty quick. I mainly play Half-Life and Quake Live now but it’s not quite the same

          (but HL1’s multiplayer is the bomb tbh, just a lot of servers are dead)

          • ChronosWing@lemmy.zip
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            9 months ago

            Yep, I have very fond memories of HL1 multiplayer, also there were SO many HL1 mods that were just incredibly fun.

    • Isoprenoid@programming.dev
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      9 months ago

      This was more “guys bad. Nuh, uh, girls bad.” Everyone getting dunked on in this one.

      Maybe it was the communication issues we gained along the way.

    • Echo Dot@feddit.uk
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      9 months ago

      It’s a response in kind to a equally dumb comment.

      The original comment is massively generalist so the response is equally generalist.

      • LavaPlanet@lemmy.world
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        9 months ago

        I don’t know, I read the original meaning, believe they’re capable, in rebuke to the stereotype men just *can’t do anything, so don’t even try, like they’re incapable toddlers, or something. To me it was a cheeky way of taking a shot at that thinking, that men aren’t capable.

  • Cyrus Draegur@lemm.ee
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    9 months ago

    i’ve been in relationships where someone passive-aggressively refuses to communicate (or simply through incompetence doesn’t know how, and/or came to believe that I was supposed to already intuitively know their position and condition)

    One such relationship recently ended on thankfully good terms.

    One such relationship was years ago and never quite got off the ground because I was NOT going to play along with the stupid games.

    Several others got up through the initial courtship phases but then disintegrated as I realized that my partner at the time was not going to engage me on an honest basis.

    These people are real. They’re really out there. And they’re either destined to be vaguely miserable forever, or someone is going to have to teach them and make them intensely miserable in the immediacy until they learn - and not many people have the patience or psychological energy to guide someone (who is kicking and screaming objections about how they shouldn’t have to change or grow or adapt because they’re special and perfect just as they are) through establishing a basic understanding of communication.

    • LavaPlanet@lemmy.world
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      9 months ago

      When people are adults, it’s their job to learn the things and seek the knowledge and self improve. That thinking that you can save someone, that one will always get you in hot water. You just focus on improving you. And leaving the drift wood behind.

    • Jay@lemmy.ca
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      9 months ago

      Both sides have to talk and just as importantly, be willing to listen. Otherwise you’re just spinning your wheels and getting nowhere.

      • BurningRiver@beehaw.org
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        9 months ago

        I’ve been with my wife for 18 years, and this is 100% correct. Disagreements are always going to happen, you just have to talk your way through them and be willing to admit when you’re wrong.

        • Raistwalker
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          9 months ago

          Agree 100%. My wife and I had pretty good communication but issues still came up occasionally. A few years in we made the conscious decision to treat arguments that came up as miscommunications first and make sure we each clearly understood each other before doubling down on it. It was a total game changer and was eye opening how often we might have the unrealistic expectation of wanting the other person to read our mind.

          • BurningRiver@beehaw.org
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            9 months ago

            Well, my wife has to be willing to admit when she’s wrong. Fortunately for me, I’m never wrong. I thought I was wrong once, but it turns out I was mistaken.

      • loobkoob@kbin.social
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        9 months ago

        A phrase that’s always stuck with me is “it’s not me versus you; it’s me and you versus the problem”.

        • saigot@lemmy.ca
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          9 months ago

          That and solution driven language. Instead of going “you aren’t doing chore x” it’s “I need chore x to be done more frequently, here’s what I’m willing to commit to doing for it” and then they share what they are realistically able to deliver, and then you negotiate until some sort of compromise is reached. Of course that requires good faith. But if your relationship can’t have that, maybe there shouldn’t be a relationship.

          What I find weird is I see people who can do this in their office job, but then completely fall to bring the same problem solving to their personal life.

          • loobkoob@kbin.social
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            9 months ago

            :(

            If one of the people in a relationship is the problem then both (or all) people need to work together to solve it. That means communicating about the problem without being confrontational, working together to find a solution or compromise, etc. Part of this requires a change in mindset: don’t think “you are the problem”, think “this aspect of you is the problem”. It has to be a team effort.

      • sj_zero@lotide.fbxl.net
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        9 months ago

        Really not helpful during a gaming sesh.

        You are covering your buddy’s back as he goes in to get the flag but then you realize how cool your mousepad feels and you close your eyes because your monitor is so bright.

    • magnetosphere @beehaw.org
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      9 months ago

      Both people are being sexist - the person who made this initial statement, and the person who replied. I’m not really helping by calling them sexist, though. The important questions are “why does this stereotype exist? How do I prevent/fix it?”

      • PM_ME_FAT_ENBIES@lib.lgbt
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        9 months ago

        The stereotype that boys can’t communicate exists because the patriarchy tells boys that women aren’t so important as to need to be told their feelings. Both people in this meme are sexist, but their sexism both comes from patriarchy. Both of these people ultimately believe that women are more emotional and men are given to more practical skills, and they both have the same solution, which is for men to show some vulnerability and emotionally grow up. The top comment is correct that boys are perfectly capable of choosing to communicate clearly, they simply are taught not to in real world contexts.