Have any queer vibes to share? Here’s your place! 
Talk about what’s happening queerly in your life - like coming out, getting HRT, questioning, and all that good stuff.
No cishets allowed! 
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Visit with the mother in law went well. Me and the boy were nervous when she arrived, shook my hand formally, and gave us a big blanket with the Virgin Mary on it, but the first night I overheard the him telling her how I was supportive and important to him, and she warmed up real quick. Then she made me sweet tamales with nesquick and cherries and chocolate syrup, which I had never even heard of, but were tasty once I mentally recategorized them as a type of muffin.
Me being trans never even came up (at least not while I was around), and on the last day I just got the normal mother in law experience where she just criticized how clean I was keeping the house and told what kinds of dinners I should be cooking for her son. It was a lot, but in a gender-affirming way.
Lady has a history of homophobic comments so we were hella worried, but we think she might have expected me to be like, a dude, rather than just a shy nerdy girl who is more “traditionally feminine” than his tomboy exes.
Probably will be a long while before I see her again, so glad I left a good impression.
Realizing that I am trans is fine and good, but now I have no idea how to proceed, what it concretly means for me. It’s all really confusing. Also a lot of self doubt, of course.
Edit: Seeing she/her above my username already makes me very happy though.
The beginning can be tough, just try and explore your gender presentation! If you can go out en femme, that’d be cool (like to a costume party or some suchl. If you need to be in boy mode, you can always paint your toe nails and wear a bralette! Just keep trying stuff and see if it makes you feel happy.
Thanks, I think I will start small, at least I already have nice long hair, I don’t really have access to new clothes right now, but makeup and nailpolish should be achievable.
I’m a few days late 💀 I set a reminder on my phone so that won’t be an issue anymore lol. fwiw a thread was made like 6 hours ago and I only realized after I posted. I thought about which to keep and went with this one only bc quite personal things can get posted here and I wasn’t sure how everyone felt about inbox notifications for every comment going to someone else without any discussion prior. just for wanted to mention that for transparency
anyway good morning/afternoon/evening
MOD ABUSE MOD ABUSE
haha if people are fine with others making the thread as well that’s totally cool with me, just didn’t wanna go ahead without any notice
<- my gal pal and me being cute and gay on the couch together
liquid eyeliner is much easier if you brace your hand on your cheek. i have become much more dangerous since learning this
Came out to 2 people about being NB and using genderneutral pronouns and it’s been great
Told a couple of more coworkers this week I’m bi. Got some good results. Mostly in reference to the in jokes we make about me finding a girlfriend someday. I say to them that it might not necessarily be a girl. I feel more comfortable about being who I am. ❤️
I filled out my name change paperwork! Now I just need to go to court
I’m still in contact with and regularly see a lot of old friends from childhood (we all grew up in the same neighborhood and most of us still live there). I came out to them as trans earlier this year and they’ve all been very accepting of me. They refer to me by my new name and pronouns. Most of them are cishet men, a couple of them are queer or non-binary.
Despite their acceptance I feel like I am becoming more distant from them by the day. They haven’t really done anything wrong… but I just feel like I’ve been masking and pretending to be a different person my whole life and that’s the person they’ve grown to know. And when I see them I feel a sort of reflex to act like that person again. It’s a bit traumatizing and it sucks because I still love a lot of them but sometimes I just don’t know if I can be with them.
I can fully understand how you feel on this. While my friend group as a young girl was undoubtedly smaller, I just don’t feel right interacting with those friends from back then. Even if they outwardly accept me, I can’t help but feel that deep down they don’t. Especially from my own family. Though they do shit that shows that they don’t accept me. It might be subconscious or they might not understand that it’s hurtful, but that don’t stop them.
Like recently I came to figure out who I actually was without any influence from outside sources. I finally realized how I came to cowtow to expectations of a boy that’s not a boy when I was younger. When I emptied my head of all preconceptions and asked myself “What do I like?”, I realized that most of my answers did not line up with what I actively did when I was younger or even currently.
I know this is verbose, but what I’m getting at is that I know if I interacted with them that I wouldn’t act genuinely. Cause the person they knew is not who I actually am, but a persona that I simply didn’t know I was wearing for most of my life.
Thanks for writing this, it really captures a lot of what I’m feeling. I think I need to get out of this fucking city
My oldest friend from grade 6 turned into a elon musk loving strict binary gender guy, it sucks. I never came out to him, we’ve just stopped talking (I used to call him a couple times a month when we went to different colleges cause I’m a secret old person) we’ve even stopped texting. We went through a whole lot together and it hurts to think what he’d figure of me after a couple years of HRT and transitioning.
After a lot of deep introspection, I finally realized how much of my life, hobbies and personality, were just pieces I picked up from the ground and stuck to myself. Now that I’m looking inward and seeing who I really am, I am falling apart at the seams because I never truly was me. I broke down last night once I realized that carrying on as a cis male wasn’t the only unknown mask that I was wearing all these years. That I was simply being the person that everyone around me was expecting. Now that I understand this, I can see how much of my life was wasted. I now know who “me” is, top to bottom. And all I want in the world is to be me. The real me. The parts of me that my HRT can’t touch. I want to be pretty. I want to wear colorful clothes. I want to let loose my artistic side. I want to read touching stories and cry and feel good. I don’t want to play video games or just idly sit by as the time wears on anymore. I want to be me.
