I took a trip to Colorado this summer and it was the first time in my life I ever really left the south. It just blew my fucking mind. I love where I’m from, but there’s just so much fucked up shit that I just thought was how it was. I’m a white cishet, so I’m not vulnerable to the worst of the south, but it absolutely blew my mind seeing somewhere that you didn’t just have a background level of distressing shit in view at all times. The most striking thing was how there weren’t any ruins around. You get used to seeing overgrown, dilapidated buildings dotting the side of the road pretty much everywhere you go. It was wild to me how rare that was, comparatively, once you get to the other side of Texas. There’s a million other things, but honestly I didn’t spend enough time there to really know if all of them are the norm or if I’m just making shit up. As shitty as I feel saying it, it would also be nice to try dating somewhere there weren’t quite so many ““country”” girls.
My only regret would be leaving behind all my friends and family. That’s just such an insane leap to me, and I have no faith that I’d be able to find new friends elsewhere now that I’m out of college. I know I’m experiencing a massively cliche impulse and all that, and that there’s lots of problems that will follow you wherever you move, but how do I know if I’m insane or not? Does anybody have advice for trying to find a job somewhere you don’t live? I’m sick of all these damn pine trees.
My advice to you is to get the fuck out of the South. I’ve been gone a long time. Take the plunge.
I think the thing I miss least is the superficial politeness. The first time I saw someone tell someone someone spouting racist shit to fuck off actually blew my mind. I thought you just had to listen uncomfortably and then talk shit about them once they were gone.
Polite does not mean nice. It does not mean good. And it can paper over a lot of ugly stuff.
As shitty as I feel saying it, it would also be nice to try dating somewhere there weren’t quite so many ““country”” girls.
As a non American, in very curious to know what this means.
The stereotype he’s referring to is someone who is enthusiastically unsophisticated, politically conservative, and staunchly religious, who has the radio tuned to a guy serenading his Ford F-350 Super Duty.
And if you want to lose to a woman in a toxic masculinity contest, she’s your best bet. This lady will have you pulling the straw and lid off your soda cup in the car and drinking from the rim. If you know how do the wrong household chore she might call up her sister, mom, half sister, aunt and best friend, sobbing-
Don’t get me wrong you can be country and a radical communist, but that image is what he’s talking about.
So what you’re saying is… I can fix her?
You absolutely cannot
No! 🛑 Don’t do it!
no and she’ll probably kill you for trying
Buddy not even a communist revolution could fix her
Depends how you define “fix.” Lots of ambiguity there.
“I love Jesus, [this week’s popular Country artist], Trump, and my pitbull ❤🤠”
Consciously country girls fall into one of two categories: Abby Shapiro and “One of the boys.” The Abby Shapiro types are similar to “trads” in that they’re generally religious conservatives who spend lots of time on domestic tasks and are very comfortable in the 1950s female gender role. The second type fit into the country guy stereotypes, but the difference is that they have a bright pink Jeep instead of a pickup truck. Both expect a very classically masculine southern man: you have to hunt, go mudding in a pickup truck, be conservative, stoic/angry all the time, and a laundry list of stuff that I’m not interested in. They’re not all bad people or anything, but they’re 100% people that I do not feel comfortable around.
Just leave bro sounds like a dead end
It’s like the aesthetic of rural conservatism. I’m from a place where it’s pretty stricly an aesthetic so idk how different it gets in the South itself.
Stereotypical country girl is a bleach blonde, orange spray tan, jorts wearing woman
i moved here from the deep south. it’s hard to deny it’s better here overall, i don’t feel like half the people i encounter want to kill me on the spot for being visibly trans. but it would also be lying to say this is not a place ravaged by libertarian politics. every imaginable horror of a hands-off government approach is on full display. meanwhile i feel like the south is very much You Get What You See. despite all the lilting from outsiders that southerners are two-faced, i never felt that’s true. i guess it depends on what’s important to you. i felt connected to the land in the south… i could never feel that way here.
that said, check out the colorado climate corps. awesome fulfilling work and the pay is… ok. there are for sure places even in denver you could make it work. and i suspect it’ll set you up well for future, better-paying work and introduce you to people you might vibe with.
but it would also be lying to say this is not a place ravaged by libertarian politics
TABOR was supposed to be a national/multi-state program to kill ‘big government’ and it’s worked so fucking poorly in the only state it was implemented in that nobody else has taken the dive, lmao. Texas and Kansas like their nice roads too much for the rugged FREEDOM of the Colorado way (completely emaciated, rotting infrastructure)
Texas and Kansas like their nice roads too much
Every road in Texas is literally ass. Potholes everywhere and no one fixes them at all for years at a time.
And then when they do they fix every goddamn road at once.
Kansas roads are beautiful
Colorado is totally worth moving to. I’m an hour away from anything I could want to do outdoors. Within a two hour drive I have some of the most beautiful places in the country all to myself. In eight years of constant adventures I’ve barely left the northeast corner of the state and it made me a whole new level of naturalist.
At least with Texas you’re within weekend trip distance. It’s a 12 hour drive to Dallas from Denver and there’s bus service in the Front Range cities.
anything I could want to do outdoors
A beach
15 minutes away, with lots of little beach coves to kayak camp at. An hour away there’s a huge set of sand dunes where Pacific storms deposit shark teeth against the Rockies. Four-ish hours away is the absolutely surreal Great Sand Dunes National Park: https://images.app.goo.gl/hcxfRwEjYGpv3HxU8
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I leapt 6000 miles out of the South where I had spent my who life and, yeah. Holy shit. We were NOT subjected to normalcy in our lives.
Leaving is terrifying, or at least for the first three years. I will never set foot back in that shithole again for the rest of my lifw
My wife ran away from home in Waco, Texas and moved to Denver when she was 16. She says she’d recommend it.
Yeah I feel such a reprieve whenever I leave the south. Even getting into Tennessee feels like a static fog has lifted. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like in the south people are very concerned with getting in your business. The south has a very ambient threat to it: everyone’s walking around wanting to shoot someone. Someone the south invented an oppressive feeling of being both ignored and singled out.
I know accents and aesthetics are not politics, but I also can’t stand this “country” persona people have. And it’s absolutely a conscious persona they’ve adopted. It’s not simply being a rural person who drives a truck and speaks with an accent. There are normal people like that and that’s not what I mean. There’s a distinction.
Being “country” consciously monitoring oneself and others in a horribly petty and judgemental way, combining the worst excesses of toxic masculinity with confused American evangelicalism. It’s a costume adopted by the worst assholes imaginable as a shield. It’s a game they’re playing. Willful ignorance, scathing racism, and goofy masculine pride gender performance. I don’t know how else to describe it.
What kind of work? Remote work simplifies things a bit, with some different risks potentially.
I’d say go for it, having no idea what that looks like logistically. I uprooted before, meeting new people wasn’t as difficult as I thought, and I’m demographically similar.
I’m trying to get hired as a software developer (just graduated in April, job hunt has not been going well) so remote is very realistic and all that. It’s just that every remote position I’ve seen pays substantially less if you’re from a poor state, so I’d been living on a really tight budget moving somewhere more expensive.
What languages do you know? Just curious
Current market is rough.
My only regret would be leaving behind all my friends and family
Literally the main reason I stay where I am so I completely feel you
i hate the south, i fully think people in the north east are just as racist but California was a dream. everyone was freakishly nice it was amazing. i dont know where i want to settle i think i need to travel more first but who has the vacation days.
i hate the south
Made me think of Absalom, Absalom!
“’Now I want you to tell me just one thing more: Why do you hate the South?’
‘I don’t hate it,’ Quentin said, quickly, at once, immediately. ‘I don’t hate it,’ he said. I don’t hate it he thought, panting in the cold air, the iron New England dark: I don’t. I don’t! I don’t hate it! I don’t hate it!”
hahahahahaha its me when i went to boston, nowhere should be that cold.
I have some bad news about California
every one in la was soooo nice though ( asked for so many people to take my picture at places), i felt so invisible too like i didn’t stand out at all no one stared at me, it was soooo lovely. give me the bad news.
Like someone else said, once you get rural, it gets bad. I love LA, maybe my favorite city. There’s a real real real problem in East LA with violent white supremacists some of whom run the sheriff’s department.
Outside of LA, the central valley is not a pleasant place because the people fucking suck.
San Diego is a city that sends chuds out to the desert to shoot migrants.
I love California, I grew up there. It’s probably the best state in the US. But it’s a neoliberal hell as well. Fucking Reagan was governor and came out of Orange county and the Panthers got started in Oakland. You’ll find tons of good people in California but there are tons of bad ones too.
thanks for the warnings and perspective, especially about the white supremacist, very good to know, we have an active KKK group in my neighborhood but they aren’t violent thankfully, they were at my last place. i still think California is # 2 or 3 on my list but ill definitely need to see more than L.A. im going to visit again next spring! (free work trip!) anything i should prioritize?
Do you have dietary restrictions? Mobility restrictions? What do you like to do? How long will you be there and do you have a car?
great questions! im a vegetarian i love all sorts of food the unhealthier the better lol. i have a shitty knee but ive been working out and i can walk for a 2 hours now but the inclines were BRUTAL last time i went. i plan on seeing some cool art this year and wandering around UCLAs campus (its like 5th on my list for grad school.). we are gonna be there for a week and my partner goes to work most of the days while i explore. usually i go to the most adorable neighborhood i can find and eat and drink coffee and talk to strangers and go to a local event i find on facebook. i plan on going thrift shopping because ive heard LA has the best thrift stores and im excited to see how they compare to atlantas. are there any places you would encourage someone who looks like a young visably queer black women to stay away from? (im not a women i just look like one). that was very rambling sorry.
Lol no apologies necessary. You’re basically on the West side which is very liberal. The West side is west of the 405 and UCLA is pretty much right there. I lived in Brentwood for 5 years. You’re probably not going to run into much visible discrimination on the West side. Stay away from Beverly hills, the cops there are VERY racist. And Beverly hills sucks anyway unless you’ve got 50k to spend on a purse or whatever.
UCLA is pretty good but it’s very college kid oriented. Venice is an Uber away (or a solid walk on the beach) and it was (probably still is) very…grimey. Homeless encampments are policed by the local cities and Santa Monica pushed it’s homeless population to Venice for the most part. Santa Monica is very tourist but also, honestly, quite a nice time. The Culver hotel in Culver City is a good place to grab a drink, I can give you all the bar recommendations lol.
I would highly recommend Sawtelle Blvd if you like Asian food. Unfortunately I’m like the opposite of a vegetarian so most of my recommendations are going to be bad. But if you have a genre you prefer I can probably give you a place.
I love the Santa Monica mountains there’s several entry points to do some hiking. Great views.
The only way ide be able to make a move somewhere is if I was living illegally so I could afford rent. That’s my hurdle. I don’t want to live that life.
One wrong move that loses some income and I’d be fucked since I can’t seem to make more than 14$/h even though I’ve been working for 15+ years and usually well liked by my employers.
System working as designed, too poor to do anything but work.
You get used to seeing overgrown, dilapidated buildings dotting the side of the road pretty much everywhere you go.
I love the kudzu farmhouse ruins - so prevalent but always unique… (insert the fucking hans moleman boourns simpsons emote I KNOW WE HAVE. someone will post it below and dazzle me with whatever it is named)
it should just be fucking :boourns: I literally searched “I was saying” too but the emojimart’s search isn’t intelligent enough to find it without the hyphens
Maybe try finding a local job that can be done either in-person or remote. Start off in-person, then switch to remote when you move. And if you find moving was not for you, just move back and the job is still there.
I’ve always thought of Colorado as ‘South’, most of the state is extremely reactionary and in the livable parts the rent is like $3k a month or whatever.
I mean this definition can also apply to states like California, Illinois and New York tbf
Illinois is 100% the south, even Chicago. Lifted duallies with rebel flag stickers driving through the Loop still fucking blow my mind.
If the South is just a mindset, a vibe, if you will, then every cracker-ass rural area in the country is the South pretty much
Can confirm, watched midwesterners who hated country music slowly cosplay as southerners until it became normal
I’ve lived in the rural northeast for half my life (don’t ask me why) and there are people here who have never left the state who sound like they’re from Alabama.
