• cley_faye@lemmy.world
    8·
    17 hours ago

    That’s the support forums. It gets worse with actual support, that goes all chummy friendly, adds emoji and exclamation marks randomly. I would not have been surprised if my last exchange with MS Support ended with “tee hee”.

    They’re weird.

    • AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.netEnglish
      14·
      20 hours ago

      This is one of my favourite xkcds because it made me more consciously aware of the peculiar intimacy of the situation in the comic. Furthermore, in addition to the link that exists between me and someone on a forum with my particular tech problem, it also made me feel connected to everyone who had a different problem to me, but were also desperately trawling forums for help

      • uid0gid0@lemmy.world
        2·
        14 hours ago

        This comic made me go back to a post I made and put in the solution I found to a really strange problem. 2 years later someone responded saying they had the same problem and my solution fixed it for them.

  • OfficerBribe@lemm.ee
    2·
    15 hours ago

    This applies to almost everything tech related whenever there is an official support and non-standard issue. These people (or bots) just follow some script and as soon as there is a bit more complex or non-standard situation, they will have no clue what to do because they are not technical.

    As far as Microsoft Support Community goes, if issue is popular there often is a decent answer deeper in thread, do not focus on ″best answer″.

    As per this, it seems these Independent Advisors are outsourced by Microsoft from some company called Directly. Answer is from 2019 November so it might be outsourced to different company now. There might be also several. Same happens with at least M365 enterprise support. I have seen supporters from Accenture and other companies.

  • Maalus@lemmy.world
    15·
    1 day ago

    "I see you have problems with GAME NAME crashing. I have played games since my childhood they always let me immerse myself in the world and relax after a stressful day (…)

    (…)

    Useless suggestion

    (…)

    Even more useless suggestion that requires you to launch a command prompt

    (…)

    If that doesn’t help, download our totally-not-a-virus.exe to prevent crashes in OTHER GAME YOU WEREN’T GOOGLING"

    • ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
      3·
      18 hours ago

      The only time a Windows solution doesn’t use command prompt is when it uses Power Shell

      I switched to Linux because everything just works and I never need to touch CLI

  • Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    31·
    1 day ago

    I just had one today

    “Do [registry edit that won’t help]. Alternatively, try [setting that does not exist] Anyway this is not supported anymore as of [very old version] (actually still works)”

    And in true windows fashion, the thing just needed to be disabled and enabled again. After it was broken by a windows update, of course.

  • helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world
    461·
    2 days ago

    “Help! My computer is slow after an update.”

    “Try reinstalling window and reformatting you drive”

    “Help I can’t find my documents!”

  • Rhaedas@fedia.io
    57·
    2 days ago

    Forgot the replies from both the original requester as well as a number of other people who state this didn’t work at all, or isn’t remotely close to what they were asking. The 7 people who marked this as helpful must be other Microsoft “experts” giving their own useless help. And what I really love is how if I get to this page a simple back click won’t get me out, I have to pull down the history to go back to the search page because they have a reload loop built in to trap you.

    • OutlierBlue@lemmy.caEnglish
      26·
      1 day ago

      And what I really love is how if I get to this page a simple back click won’t get me out, I have to pull down the history to go back to the search page because they have a reload loop built in to trap you.

      Hi there, thanks for your question.

      I’m a volunteer helper answering questions on behalf of Microsoft. I will endeavor to do my best to get to the bottom of your problem. To break free from the reload loop, you’ll need to format your hard drive and install Linux. You’ll still get stuck in loops, because this in no way changes how webpages work, but it will put you one step ahead of all these other poor assholes asking for help on Microsoft Support Forums.

      Please mark this reply as helpful so I’ll get more MicroCents so I can one day buy my freedom from the licensing subscriptions I’m forced to pay for so I can keep using stuff I already bought.

  • jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    101·
    2 days ago

    Somewhere in the not so distant future…

    Google Search: “Install printer driver windows 11”

    Result from random blog:
    “My first experience with printer drivers was 35 years ago. My grandma had an IBM PS2 that ran MS DOS and an HP Deskjet printer. It connected to the computer via a parallel port and printed a whopping 1 page per minute. Every year at Christmas, Grandma would print off her famous pecan pie recipe and we would all gather around the printer, eagerly listening to the sound of the print head slowly whooshing back and forth in anticipation of the tasty goodness to come. Blah blah blah. Five more pages of meaningless stories that have nothing to do with installing print drivers followed by a solution that only works for Epson printers.”

    • Halosheep@lemm.ee
      2·
      16 hours ago

      The final solution will be to renew your printer driver subscription at the low low cost of $15/month.

    • solsangraal@lemmy.zipEnglish
      32·
      2 days ago

      the funniest part of the story is the idea that anyone’s grandma in the 90s had a computer and printed recipes, instead of a handmade old growth hardwood box full of 100 year old recipes handwritten with a quill pen

      edit: nvm, my brain didn’t register the “in the future” bit

  • magic_lobster_party@fedia.io
    49·
    2 days ago

    Usually it goes like this:

    ”Hey I have this problem. I tried this solution, but it didn’t work. Any ideas?”

    ”The fix is easy: just do the thing you said you already done”

    And then radio silence.

    • pimento64@sopuli.xyz
      332·
      2 days ago

      Hello madam,

      My name is Bobson Dugnutt and I am a third-party contractor with Microsoft Support. I will be assiduous to help with you today.

      I’m sorry, this feature is not planned at this time. You don’t need to be able to do that. Bitch ass.

      If this review was helpful, please click “Helpful” and vote 5 and tell my supervisor by filling out this brief survey and send a feedback email to our support centerfollow me an LinkedIn and come to my birthday party and be my friend. Thank you please.

  • .Donuts@lemmy.world
    61·
    2 days ago

    I can’t believe they are getting away with so many bullshit non-solutions to the point where you wonder if they even know how to read.

    I wonder if they trained AI on this. Might explain some things

    • sasquash@sopuli.xyz
      33·
      2 days ago

      I kinda like the MS Support Forum. If it’s in my results, I don’t open it for the solution. I just want to see the braindead support answer and the countless complains about it for fun. It’s amazing how stupid these threads are and even more amazing that MS doesn’t care.