• HikingVet@lemmy.ca
    1553·
    1 year ago

    Not to kink shame but is this some sort of cuckold thing I’m too asexual to understand?

  • satans_crackpipe@lemmy.world
    1411·
    1 year ago

    If ya gotta jump through these hilarious hoops to not feel bad about fucking, can we at least optimize?

    Can’t you just soak and un-soak repeatedly? Is there a skill cool down that has to be respected to not make sky grandpa mad?

  • MTK@lemmy.world
    100·
    1 year ago

    Religion: God is all knowing, all seeing and wise.

    Also religion: If you ask your friend to move you inside a vagina, god won’t know you’re fucking!

      • Aaron@lemmy.nz
        12·
        1 year ago

        Some real “I tied a string to my friend’s house so it’s technically one house and I didn’t travel there on the Sabbath” energy

    • jol
      2·
      1 year ago

      I mean, God will forgive all sins if you pray sorry after. I think They are pretty gullible.

      • 📛Maven@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
        84·
        1 year ago

        To be fair, that’s pretty close to describing the Jewish faith. One fundamental tenet is that God put loopholes there on purpose, and it’s the rabbis’ duty to debate legalistically to extrapolate what he meant based on what he said. That’s why they’re called laws. (I was raised jewish, for the record)

        One common one that most people have heard of by now since they went viral on youtube a couple years back, is eruvim. Since there’s a bunch of rules around how much effort you’re allowed to exert on the sabbath (e.g. you’re not allowed to move anything from inside your house to outside, or to carry anything heavy more than about half a meter while outside), people hang a wire, called an eruv (plural eruvim), encircling an area ranging from a small neighbourhood to several city blocks to the entire island of Manhattan, proclaiming it to be one big “home”, allowing practicing Jews to do anything they’re only allowed to do at home, anywhere inside its area.

        Another fun one that has a lot of ramifications is that we’re not supposed to “start a fire” on sabbath, and rabbi have traditionally declared that turning something electrical on or off is “starting a fire”. Because of this, jewish hospitals have elevators that run constantly between floors so people can just walk on without actually pushing a button and causing a circuit to close. Or lightbulbs; for the longest time, the “solution” was just to leave your lights on all saturday in case you needed them, or maybe spring for electronic timers, or just get your goyim buddy to come over and turn em on for you, but with the modern prevalence of LED bulbs, there’s now jewish smart lights called “shabulbs” that have internal shutters which cover the LEDs without actually extingishing them, so you can turn it back “on” again without breaking the rules. Some places even sell ovens with a shabbat mode so they stay slightly warm all day and never turn all the way off, don’t show the display screen, and don’t turn on their internal lightbulb when you open them after sundown on friday! All this because there’s a rule against starting fires.

        Maybe I got a bit off topic, but my point is, In some ways you might say that finding loopholes in Abrahamic law is practicing religion lol

        • 0x4E4F@infosec.pubEnglish
          26·
          1 year ago

          All this because there’s a rule against starting fires.

          Shit… I though people over here were nuts… thank you for proving me wrong.

        • brbposting@sh.itjust.works
          5·
          1 year ago

          I knew about the elevators (and forgot about Manhattan) but this one’s new for me:

          Men approving this 2-year innovation’s hoodwinking of God:

        • Holzkohlen@feddit.de
          4·
          1 year ago

          I can just imagine having parents care about any of this and being SO annoyed by it. Worst I got as a kid is going to church on christmas before opening the presents. (We do presents on the evening of the 24th)

          • 📛Maven@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
            7·
            1 year ago

            It was worse when I was a kid, in winter we had to heat the house to blistering on friday afternoons and just hope it stayed warm enough til sabbath ended (if it wasn’t, we had to get a non-Jewish friend to come turn the furnace on for a bit, and there was all sorts of rules about whether that was allowed too). And if you turned a light off at night by reflex, it stayed off. Nowadays there’s all sorts of “sabbath mode” gadgets lol

        • vivadanang@lemm.eeEnglish
          3·
          1 year ago

          people hang a wire

          yes yes, omniscient and omnipotent no doubt, this fucking string will fool god…

          I honestly wonder if this is as hilarious to them as it is to outsiders

        • AndrasKrigare@beehaw.org
          3·
          1 year ago

          That’s super interesting. I was not raised Jewish at all, but I’ve heard an expression “making a fence around the Tora.” At least as it was explained to me, the idea is that we don’t really know what the exact line is for what we’re supposed to do, so we’re just going not even get close to the line so we know we’re definitely okay.

          To me, that seems like the complete opposite of what you describe. Do you know if that’s a different interpretation/sect/denomination or if I’m misunderstanding and those loopholes are the fence around the Tora?

          • 📛Maven@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
            5·
            1 year ago

            those loopholes are the fence around the Tora?

            That is essentially correct. The torah itself is sacrosanct, and Rabbinic derivations are not seen as loopholes, so much as expert notes to aid in understanding the intent of the torah and accidentally violating the letter of the law. The really short version is, god is omniscient, and therefore knew when he spoke how his words would be interpreted for all time, and so if he didn’t want people to interpret them a certain way, he would’ve said something different. In other words, following the letter of the law is integral, but rules lawyering is not just allowed, it’s expected. There’s actually a famous jewish parable about a time rabbis exiled god himself from a debate because if he wanted to influence the proceedings, he should’ve done so in the torah.

            “The torah says we can’t start a fire on the sabbath. But what counts as ‘fire’ or ‘starting’, exactly?” “The torah says we can’t carry a heavy object more than 4 cubits while outside our private domain on the sabbath. What counts as heavy? What is a private domain?”

        • Sordid@beehaw.orgEnglish
          3·
          1 year ago

          I’ve heard stuff like this several times from different sources over the years, but I’m still not convinced it’s not some elaborate collective prank. It reads like something written by Terry Pratchett or Douglas Adams.

          • 📛Maven@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
            6·
            1 year ago

            The really short version is that the jewish belief is that an omniscient god wrote the torah with the complete foreknowledge that people would be debating over its intent in edge cases for the rest of time, and so he wrote exactly what was necessary for rabbis to collectively come to the correct conclusions. If an interpretation would’ve been wrong, then god would’ve written that part differently.

            Essentially it’s D&D rules lawyering

            • Sordid@beehaw.orgEnglish
              1·
              1 year ago

              I get that, but at the same time I don’t. I mean, it doesn’t make sense to me. Expecting endless debate and also expecting correct conclusions to be reached seems contradictory, since once conclusions are reached, debate would cease. This is one of those things that make me feel very uncertain, like when you finish an exam in half the allotted time, watch everyone else keep furiously working, and start questioning whether everyone else is dumb or whether you are and you missed something obvious. I get that feeling a lot when reading/thinking about religion.

        • aksdb@feddit.de
          2·
          1 year ago

          So if I put a movement sensor that triggers a light in front of a jewish household, they couldn’t leave on sabbath because their movement would trigger a fire?

        • ExLisper@linux.communityEnglish
          1·
          1 year ago

          In the Netflix show Unorthodox there’s a scene where a girl wants to go out but bunch of neighbours standing at the exit tell her that eruv is broken so she has to go back to her apartment and leave her bags. There’s no explanation given but I’ve read about the eruv thing in the past so I knew what’s going on. I felt smart.

          • 📛Maven@lemmy.sdf.orgEnglish
            1·
            1 year ago

            Unfortunately not, just normal elevators programmed to go up and down to each floor automatically at regular intervals rather than requiring any user input.

      • CarbonIceDragon@pawb.social
        22·
        1 year ago

        didnt some religion have a concept where since they believe god infallible, any loophole in the rules must therefore be intended, possibly as a reward for the cleverness of finding it? I forget which one that was

          • NoIWontPickaName@kbin.social
            61·
            1 year ago

            I like the one where 4 rabbis are arguing 3-1 against each other and god tells them that the 1 guy is right and they respond with “Well that’s 2-3.”

            That whole religion, especially the Kabbalah part, is super interesting to me, but it is just so dense that it’s hard to get into.

  • The_Vampire@lemmy.world
    755·
    1 year ago

    Actual Ex-Mormon who attended BYU here: Soaking was never a thing, I have only ever heard about it on the internet or literally in the context of Mormons laughing about non-Mormons believing in Mormons doing such things (yeah, they’re meta about it).

    What is an actual thing is Mormons getting married super early (for a multitude of reasons, one being the horny). Easily over 70% of the students I knew were married by the time they were seniors in college.

      • gmtom@lemmy.world
        51·
        1 year ago

        Well I’ve looked and couldn’t find anything. So I’m going to say it doesn’t exist.

        • BombOmOm@lemmy.worldEnglish
          10·
          1 year ago

          It is your duty to make it then. I am expecting completion from you by the start of next week.

          • Xer0@lemmy.mlEnglish
            2·
            1 year ago

            I’m gonna need you to go ahead and write, produce, direct, and star in this porno by close of business tomorrow.

  • chellewalker@lemmy.caEnglish
    442·
    1 year ago

    I attended BYU-I in person for three years. There was a lot of dumb s### that happened there, but I can say with confidence this wasn’t one of them. To not be a buzzkill though, I’ll share an actual saying that people use around campus: “BYU I do.” Because like 80-90% of students there expect to be married by the time they graduate.

    • RobertoOberto@sh.itjust.works
      261·
      1 year ago

      Thanks for the insight - jump humping and soaking sound like the kind of bullshit my parents would believe because it was featured in some local news story.

      Most “teen trends”, especially those related to sex, are just wildly blown out of proportion “stories” based on a couple of people trying something weird, someone else hearing about it, and now suddenly all the teens are doing it.

      It reminds me of being in high school when my mom asked me if my girlfriend’s jelly bracelets were a sex thing because she heard about girls owing sex acts to guys who can break one.

      • evranch@lemmy.ca
        7·
        1 year ago

        I never heard of the jelly bracelet thing, but now I’m thinking about how that sort of thing can be way stronger than it looks.

        I have some TPU filament that’s stretchy enough to feel flimsy, but after I realized I somehow couldn’t snap it, it became kind of a strength challenge. The strongest guy I know couldn’t snap it, and he bent a 36" pipe wrench once. But then again, there weren’t sex acts on the line.

      • Meowoem@sh.itjust.works
        52·
        1 year ago

        It’s a repression thing, they can’t face having sexual fantasies of their own so their mind tricks them into thinking they’re super interested in every news story about wild sex things - suddenly they’re up all night imagining wild and perverted things that are probably happening, but not because they like thinking about those things they reassure themselves, they’re a good moral person trying to protect civic morality…

        Read interviews with satanic panic people, endless vivid details right out of an extreme romance novel. Tiktok human trafficking panic is another example, those videos with obviously made up warnings about sex rings and kidnapping methods - it’s all structured just like it’s porn equivalents.

    • kase@lemmy.world
      3·
      1 year ago

      Out of curiosity, did most of the people there actually follow the no sex rule? I know at some of the Christian colleges I’ve been to, there are lots of people who do have sex, they just have to be secretive enough about it. Of course, a good portion of kids at those colleges were just pressured to go there by their families, but aren’t that religious themselves. 🤷

      I don’t know any Mormons, so idk if it’s remotely similar at a school like BYU.

  • Tsaot@lemmy.world
    334·
    1 year ago

    I’m a Mormon, and this just can’t be real. Sexual contact is sexual contact. How would people told to leave enough room for a Bible between them while dancing think that this would be okay?

    I’m convinced this rumor exists just because people want it to be true.

    • WaxedWookie@lemmy.world
      3·
      1 year ago

      I can’t speak for this particular practice, or for Mormons, but things like the poophole loophole and the clapper are definitely nonsense tricks to try and get one past an omniscient creator - to an outsider (in my case, one that lived in Provo for a short stint), it’s plausible.